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Thread: Do you like going home? Or dislike it?

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Do you like going home? Or dislike it?

    I added the "dislike it" because of the tone of these boards 555

    Although I can't relate to not like "going home" I do guess it is that person's own opinions, so you can't really knock it.

    I am heading home for just about 2 1/2 days next week before a business trip. One nephew's b-day is the 26th and his older brother's Homecoming at prep school in Maine is the 27th
    And I still get excited and happy to be heading home.
    I decided not to do any biz in Boston that Friday so have the day off

    Reasons why I like going home:

    Family
    Friends
    FOOD!! I start planning where I am going to eat well in advance 555
    Familiarity...... Boston doesn't change much and I like that.

    One downside
    Family drama. I love my closest sister to death but she can be so dramatic and my one brother can be a pain in the ass.
    We've talked about moving back to Boston and it is something my wife would prefer. If we ever did, I would honestly have to sit both of them down and tell them not to involve me in any dramas, for my sanity


    So it he nice to hear others views, good or bad and also if any people still live in their hometown and their perspective on that

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Dupree's Avatar
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    I could never go back to Syracuse. It has been declining for 40 years. All the old neighborhoods are now welfare streets. I feel like I have to make a peripheral security sweep before I get out of the car. You're lucky that your home town has a permanent identity.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    Yep family,friends and food.

    I do like going home as i don't want to lose touch with the place and my older brother is getting on so i like seeing him and his family.
    He was nice enough to bring his missus to CM to meet my GF and moo noi last year
    Always been very close to my family and he's all i have left now.
    FACE YOUR FEARS LIVE YOUR DREAMS

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    Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Hatari's Avatar
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    I'm not homeless, but home-less

    I went back to NZ April-July this year; it was more curiosity than any sentimental feeling that took me back to what was once my home town of New Plymouth, in Taranaki. With no family there - not that I'd say we were ever a 'close family' anyway, parents long-deceased, family home knocked down for a property development over 10 years ago, four friends i vaguely keep in touch with, good to see them again - see who's changed the most in 15 years. No sentimental journey, for about 3 seconds thought of driving round to see former houses, workplaces, but all in the past.

    I don't dislike the place, but feel no attachment - apart from continuing to follow the local rugby team. I would consider living there again if the opportunity arose, though the down-side is I have health issues from the climate.

    5 years ago my eldest brother decided to retire there, having lived/worked in UK and Asia fulltime for over 35 years he had a library of old memories that he'd somehow built up in his mind of younger days in NP; lasted less than 3 months; knowing almost nobody, isolation, never understood what he hoped for there, and unsure he did either.

    Before my Thailand move I'd lived in Wellington a few weeks short of 10 years but never considered it home. I went there under duress, redundancy with little hope of re-employment where I was working or take a paid transfer and better job in Wellington; never felt any real bond with the place, nor considered it where I'd see out my days despite having a house there; spent about 36hrs there on recent trip, 2 friends to see that was it.

    Home-less, from the nomad family!

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PeteGill's Avatar
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    The country that I grew up in (Zimbabwe) has changed so much since I left 33 years ago that I have very little if any attachment to the place at all. I do not yearn for the old days either as so many of the people I grew up with still seem to do.. If I ever do go back it would be purely out of curiosity as I no longer have any family there, nor close friends.
    Cape Town is my home now and I am sure I would miss it if I were to move on, but I don't get attached to most things. So perhaps I could walk away and never look back ?

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hatari View Post
    I'm not homeless, but home-less

    I went back to NZ April-July this year; it was more curiosity than any sentimental feeling that took me back to what was once my home town of New Plymouth, in Taranaki. With no family there - not that I'd say we were ever a 'close family' anyway, parents long-deceased, family home knocked down for a property development over 10 years ago, four friends i vaguely keep in touch with, good to see them again - see who's changed the most in 15 years. No sentimental journey, for about 3 seconds thought of driving round to see former houses, workplaces, but all in the past.

    I don't dislike the place, but feel no attachment - apart from continuing to follow the local rugby team. I would consider living there again if the opportunity arose, though the down-side is I have health issues from the climate.

    5 years ago my eldest brother decided to retire there, having lived/worked in UK and Asia fulltime for over 35 years he had a library of old memories that he'd somehow built up in his mind of younger days in NP; lasted less than 3 months; knowing almost nobody, isolation, never understood what he hoped for there, and unsure he did either.

    Before my Thailand move I'd lived in Wellington a few weeks short of 10 years but never considered it home. I went there under duress, redundancy with little hope of re-employment where I was working or take a paid transfer and better job in Wellington; never felt any real bond with the place, nor considered it where I'd see out my days despite having a house there; spent about 36hrs there on recent trip, 2 friends to see that was it.

    Home-less, from the nomad family!
    How old were you when you started losing touch with your friends?
    I am 42yrs old and I land in Boston at 12am Friday and will be having drinks with my 2 best friends as soon as they finish work.

    I've lost a bit of touch with my whole crew of friends but we were like 20-25. So I am still in touch with most of them.
    Actually will try and get us all together these holidays

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PeteGill View Post
    The country that I grew up in (Zimbabwe) has changed so much since I left 33 years ago that I have very little if any attachment to the place at all. I do not yearn for the old days either as so many of the people I grew up with still seem to do.. If I ever do go back it would be purely out of curiosity as I no longer have any family there, nor close friends.
    Cape Town is my home now and I am sure I would miss it if I were to move on, but I don't get attached to most things. So perhaps I could walk away and never look back ?
    How old were you when you left Zimbabwe?

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PeteGill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    How old were you when you left Zimbabwe?
    Twenty five. One year after Zimbabwe had gained independents. My late mother was originally from Cape Town so it had always been a second home to us.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dupree View Post
    I could never go back to Syracuse. It has been declining for 40 years. All the old neighborhoods are now welfare streets. I feel like I have to make a peripheral security sweep before I get out of the car. You're lucky that your home town has a permanent identity.
    My city is 8-10mins from downtown Boston
    But It is like a world away for people like my sister and the townies in my town.
    That is why if I moved back we'd almost certainly live "in Town"( as we call it).....I think just having that separation and living in Town would hopefully be enough to stay on the outside of family drama

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    Platinum NeedHoliday's Avatar
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    "Home" for me can be two places - where I grew up and where my family lives, and where I lived and worked for almost 15 years after finishing my education.

    Where my family lives is where I went to school, but those friends have long gone and I haven't spoken to anyone in 10+ years. After finishing university I moved to London (3.5+hrs from where I grew up) so I didn't really go back home too much, so that's why I eventually lost contact with those friends and going home was just to see family. Living in London for almost 15 years I obviously made new friends there, and those friends I still keep in touch with regularly, even though I've been away from the UK for over 2 years now. If I go back to the UK I'd always enjoy visiting them again, but is difficult to organise as if I go back to the UK it will be primarily for seeing family - and the distance between the two makes it impractical/expensive for travel arrangements.

    I can "put up" with visiting family for about a week before it drives me crazy 555. I only have a small family (no brothers/sisters) so there isn't much to do when I go home other than hear about how everyone is getting older now, or other people I know getting married/having kids etc and why I don't yet blah blah blah. My parents are in good health and just starting retirement so I don't have much to worry about there, hence I don't really feel the need to be constantly going back home to see them, though they disagree as I'm their only son which I can understand, but they also understand I need to live my life....

    So to answer the question, I guess for me it depends on the frequency of going home, and to which "home". If I had enough cash and time to go back to the UK every month, I would happily go see my friends in London every month, and maybe visit my parents every few months. In reality the distance and cost means I can only do that once or twice a year
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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    I've just returned from a month visit to AUS + NZ....was a bit of a whirlwind tour but I enjoyed catching up with about 20 different friends and business associates some of whose homes I stayed in...my ex wife in Wellington, my good friend, business partner + godson's family in Auckland and my own family up on the Gold Coast

    I enjoyed everyone's company....my ex is doing well, my Dad is still going strong at 85, my brother and his wife had their 40 year anniversary whilst I was there and are still behaving like newlyweds, one of my best mates has built himself up a great business in the film industry, my old school/Uni mates are still playing music whilst following their own successful professional careers, quite a few businesses are interested in me doing some work for them and my old business has been well amalgamated in a thriving new one....so in short everyone is pretty happy following down the paths of their own lives/careers and were happy to have me a brief part of it again, to ask questions, share stories and catch up and so was I to be a part of that..but we all know I was geting back on a plane soon...back to my own life

    But all in all one thing I did learn from this is that it will probably be quite a while before I go back to do it all again, and most probably I will never live there again...not because I don't like the place/s or them....just that they are doing their thing and I am doing mine and I have come to love my lifestyle here....it's not the wild, boozy, crazy one that I came to 5 and a half years back...but it's a lovely easy one which suits me well at this stage of my life

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน slampay's Avatar
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    I'm never going back to my old school..

    -steely dan

    Actually, I've taken my boys back to my old hood once. They were old enough to kinda see the big difference between our (mine) and their life styles. I took them to my old haunts and walked them through my old high school. I showed them my name on the old 'athletic records' board. (They thought that was very cool!55)

    They asked me, "why didn't you have lockers, you know, for your books and things?"

    The truth, "lockers can carry more than books, son"

    I took them to a basketball court that still had a imprint of a hand on the backboard. 12 feet up, It had been painted over in indelible marker years ago. Some one had kept up the tradition and redone the markings recently.

    That hand was mine. My initials still there... And the moment my boys seen it, they said "oh snap Dad! What happened to you?!?!"

    5555

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeedHoliday View Post

    So to answer the question, I guess for me it depends on the frequency of going home, and to which "home". If I had enough cash and time to go back to the UK every month, I would happily go see my friends in London every month, and maybe visit my parents every few months. In reality the distance and cost means I can only do that once or twice a year
    Cost for your flights is considerably more than mine to Boston, if I book ahead
    So I made a concerted effort to book 4-5 flights well in advance
    This way i don't get lazy and if booked enough ahead it is only about 450usd for each of us
    I am also lucky that about 70% of my flights back home can be expensed because I am on business back East so then we just have to pay for my wife's flights
    I will be baack home 3 of the next 4 months and all flights can be expensed

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน obes's Avatar
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    Home. Where is home ?

    Home is here now................

    Too many homes, too many schools, too many goodbyes !

    Such it is for a military brat !

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    Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Hatari's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    How old were you when you started losing touch with your friends?
    lose touch . . . make new ones

    these were pre-internet, pre-mobile phone days. Expensive toll calls - leaving town meant leaving a lot behind. As New Plymouth didn't have (still doesn't) a university (and back then no trade school either), it faced the typical rural town-urban city drift as parents wanting successful offspring sent them off to uni - and they never came back except for Xmas, weddings and funerals.

    For me, the don't have children (me) v do have children (them) was a division point where common interests went their separate ways.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    I dont look forward to going home ( Sydney/Newcastle ) from Phuket at all , but I have to say I actually enjoy it a bit more than I think I will.
    I observe other posters that had moved when young as I did , that perhaps the 'draw' of home is less strong than one that hasnt moved around at all.
    I left Sydney when I got into Newcastle Uni at 17 , so those friends that are often life long bonds if I had stayed around , were changed on moving , and slowly lost contact.
    But a few select friends I made at the age of 20 to 25 are still about 'Newy' , and even come over and visit me here , so catching up and eating delicious home cooking and fine Hunter wines at their places and seeing the kids all grown up is a bit of a buzz.
    The only real negative is the price of accommodations and the temperature.
    Still , I only do it about every 3 years , so not much at all.
    Also , for the cost , I keep feeling another trip to Luang Prabang , or new places like Pagan or China would be money better spent.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Stillearly's Avatar
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    I normally go home for lunch most Sundays

    I've never left apart from holidays and working in London and Luxembourg for two months each , same company but just went over to help out , the trip I'm planning next year will be the longest I will have spent away ... Friends and family here , love the lifestyle , when I retire I plan to take extended holidays , but come back for the Summer and Christmas
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chob View Post
    Also , for the cost , I keep feeling another trip to Luang Prabang , or new places like Pagan or China would be money better spent.
    I think cost can have a major mind frame aspect, as you suggest
    To be living somewhere and going to visit "home" which is much more expensive would give you apprehension

    We get excited to go to the US because it is so much cheaper for us than here in Canada

  19. #19
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NeedHoliday View Post
    "Home" for me can be two places - where I grew up and where my family lives, and where I lived and worked for almost 15 years after finishing my education.
    I'm a bit like this. I love going back to NZ... but I don't know anyone in my old neighbourhood now... its changed a lot from up and coming young families in the 70's to... a poorer renting demographic these days. The houses look run down and its not the childhood of bare feet escapades that I remember.

    My parents now live in rural NZ... and the towns nearby are still the same as 70's NZ... and I love it. So relaxed and friendly. Paulie... you are lucky to have a strong bond with your childhood community... I think it's a lot more rare than you think... and becoming rarer by the day....

    I have two homes now. The UK where a lot of my friends are... and NZ where my parents and great childhood memories are.
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stillearly View Post
    I normally go home for lunch most Sundays

    I've never left apart from holidays and working in London and Luxembourg for two months each , same company but just went over to help out , the trip I'm planning next year will be the longest I will have spent away ... Friends and family here , love the lifestyle , when I retire I plan to take extended holidays , but come back for the Summer and Christmas
    Get away from LOS for the rain season and the peak season, you mean..? 555
    Stillearly likes this.

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