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Thread: What causes divorce and split ups.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    What causes divorce and split ups.

    After a interesting talk with a friend last night I looked this up.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography

    Vietnam 4% WOW they are either miserable or doing something good.


    What do you think causes high rates of divorce and it appears more so in western county's?

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Social freedoms coupled with watered down family and other social values(I'm not saying these are necessarily good things though). At least partly IMO. But this is obviously a very large topic with a million answers.

    Divorce rates might be low in other places, but yeah, willing to bet there are a lot of miserable people stuck in lifeless marriages. Mostly women who have no other choice. Even if backed by the law, social pressures will never let them break free. It's prison.

    People will discuss all sorts of reasons around this, but I always like to think a bit deeper about this sort of thing. Most social phenomenon need to be looked at from genetic and evolutionary perspectives I think. Those things determine our behaviours more than anything. Humans are not monogamous animals. Marriages are actually un-natural for us and were mostly held together in the past by combinations of social glue, need for survival, fear or just lack of political freedom. So remove those barriers and people naturally get sick of each other and would want to move on. Because it's just not natural.

    I'm not saying this is universal. Millions of people of course marry, love each other and happily get old and die together. Many others don't, and prefer to have variety.

    In conclusion though, I don't see high divorce rates as necessarily a bad thing, or a sign of society falling apart. Old paradigms falling apart for sure though.
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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Marriage is a recent phenomenon for humans... hence the problems...
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน obes's Avatar
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    Marriage will be obsolete in 50 years.

    Male and female, as we know them now - will be obsolete in 50 years.
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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Fair comments, but when Marriage/Divorce is obsolete we still get "Split ups"....?
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    more importantly...what possesses people that they think they can live within the straightjacket of marriage and the notion of love for their entire life???...got me beat
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bacwaan View Post
    more importantly...what possesses people that they think they can live within the straightjacket of marriage and the notion of love for their entire life???...got me beat
    Chemical reactions in the brain during the early days. But what would you do after the drug has worn off and the hangover starts to set in? Which could be as early as weeks or months after the straightjacket is on.

    I think there would be a good few number that would realise their mistake fairly early on. But what can you do? Most would probably try and fool themselves into believing they've made the right choice. Others just plough through it. It's a sad affair. But again, it seems to work for many. Or at least that's what they like to tell us.
    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    The Asians have a simple remedy.
    A wife to show and gik to blow.
    Keeps everybody happy.
























    When in Rome ....

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Cippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    The Asians have a simple remedy.
    A wife to show and gik to blow.
    Keeps everybody happy.

    When in Rome ....
    "Asians" is a big group. The people you are taking about that this would make happy would primarily be men. I don't know any women myself who would be happy with this arrangement. Nor would most men be happy about being their wives having the same arrangement either.

    Why even get married if you think you can't be happy with it? I suppose you could get away with it if there was just the occasional tryst. But then it would not be a marriage in the traditional sense, where two people commit to each other.

    It baffles me to be honest why anyone would ever think that cheating would make themselves happy. I have really ever seen it end in misery. I would end my marriage if I felt I need more than one woman to make me happy. I would much rather hurt someone with the truth that hurt them with a lie.
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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bacwaan View Post
    more importantly...what possesses people that they think they can live within the straightjacket of marriage and the notion of love for their entire life???...got me beat
    I think about 1/100 couples get it right... maybe that's optimistic... or slightly pessimistic... not sure... but what I can say, is that it's just so damn rare...

    I could count on one hand the number of couples I have ever known that I would say have true long-term love... it's magic if you get it, but very few do...
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Star KRIS-ONE's Avatar
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    Who thinks it will be perfect true long term love tho?! Complete morons that's who! I see it as a trade off... Lots people think being married is preferable to growing old all alone (with trips to LOS thrown in).

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cippy View Post
    "Asians" is a big group. The people you are taking about that this would make happy would primarily be men. I don't know any women myself who would be happy with this arrangement. Nor would most men be happy about being their wives having the same arrangement either.

    Why even get married if you think you can't be happy with it? I suppose you could get away with it if there was just the occasional tryst. But then it would not be a marriage in the traditional sense, where two people commit to each other.

    It baffles me to be honest why anyone would ever think that cheating would make themselves happy. I have really ever seen it end in misery. I would end my marriage if I felt I need more than one woman to make me happy. I would much rather hurt someone with the truth that hurt them with a lie.
    For most it is simply an ego thing.

    And I have always contended that if your wife truly loves you.....she would not be happy at all for you to have a mistress.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    I think about 1/100 couples get it right... maybe that's optimistic... or slightly pessimistic... not sure... but what I can say, is that it's just so damn rare...

    I could count on one hand the number of couples I have ever known that I would say have true long-term love... it's magic if you get it, but very few do...
    Here's a twist.......I think some couples have true long term love and still break up for other factors.

    Not being compatible is a big one.
    Wanting different things out if lif, is another.

    Those are two issues my wife and I are struggling with right now. And it might lead to us breaking up .
    It wouldn't mean we don't love each other just that we are not on the same wave length

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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    Here's a twist.......I think some couples have true long term love and still break up for other factors.

    Not being compatible is a big one.
    Wanting different things out if lif, is another.

    Those are two issues my wife and I are struggling with right now. And it might lead to us breaking up .
    It wouldn't mean we don't love each other just that we are not on the same wave length
    That's the thing... of course you can love someone for life... I still love ex girlfriends I broke up with nearly 20 years ago... but live with them and be in their pocket for 70 years? That's a tough ask...
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    That's the thing... of course you can love someone for life... I still love ex girlfriends I broke up with nearly 20 years ago... but live with them and be in their pocket for 70 years? That's a tough ask...
    But I think most think of divorce as some drag out fighting and bitterness
    And a good majority are.

    But some just lose their course.
    My wife is heading back to Thailand on the 20th.
    She just doesn't want to live in Vancouver and I don't want to live in Thailand.
    We have to decide what we want to do.
    But we havent had a harsh word to say to each other.

    We don't know how this will all end up but her basically living in Thailand full time for all if this year doesn't bode well....but I still think there is a lot of love between us.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    But I think most think of divorce as some drag out fighting and bitterness
    And a good majority are.

    But some just lose their course.
    My wife is heading back to Thailand on the 20th.
    She just doesn't want to live in Vancouver and I don't want to live in Thailand.
    We have to decide what we want to do.
    But we havent had a harsh word to say to each other.

    We don't know how this will all end up but her basically living in Thailand full time for all if this year doesn't bode well....but I still think there is a lot of love between us.
    Sad to hear that!
    Is it just different wave length? Or different social demands (work, family, etc.)?

  17. #17
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    But I think most think of divorce as some drag out fighting and bitterness
    And a good majority are.

    But some just lose their course.
    My wife is heading back to Thailand on the 20th.
    She just doesn't want to live in Vancouver and I don't want to live in Thailand.
    We have to decide what we want to do.
    But we havent had a harsh word to say to each other.

    We don't know how this will all end up but her basically living in Thailand full time for all if this year doesn't bode well....but I still think there is a lot of love between us.
    That's going to mean some tough decisions... in a way you have helped Ao to become independent and self-sufficient...
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Cippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bacwaan View Post
    more importantly...what possesses people that they think they can live within the straightjacket of marriage and the notion of love for their entire life???...got me beat
    Let me turn it around, what possessed you? Can you remember that far back? 555

    If I remember correctly you had a cordial separation? What changed your mind.
    Never argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. M.T.

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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cippy View Post
    What changed your mind.
    ...maturity? ...55
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Cippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    But I think most think of divorce as some drag out fighting and bitterness
    And a good majority are.

    But some just lose their course.
    My wife is heading back to Thailand on the 20th.
    She just doesn't want to live in Vancouver and I don't want to live in Thailand.
    We have to decide what we want to do.
    But we havent had a harsh word to say to each other.

    We don't know how this will all end up but her basically living in Thailand full time for all if this year doesn't bode well....but I still think there is a lot of love between us.
    Sorry to hear that too. Seems a good way to speed up growing apart. Do you think it would be different if you guys had kids?

    My wife isn't having the easiest time adjusting, but mostly because she is lonely. I expect that will change when she is keeping busy with school then a career. The only think she really misses is her family. They are nothing but trouble, but she misses them. 555
    Last edited by Cippy; 5th June 2016 at 05:07.
    Never argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. M.T.

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