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Thread: Travelling with older teenagers

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Travelling with older teenagers

    I actually had a thought most of you might not even be able to offer advice from experience because you guys mostly encourage your kids at that age to travel alone.

    Anyway, I've jumped in Sydney's thread about how I'm taking my 19yr old nephew and his GF to Panama and Costa Rica.

    I've travelled a lot with my stepson but from the ages of 8 and 14/15yrs old, so a bit different.

    They are a bit sheltered but smart and nice kids. Purpose of the trip is to expose them to travelling abroad and new cultures.
    But it is their holiday too, so want to make sure they are enjoying it

    They are sort of popular nerds, if that makes sense. They are popular in school so very social but they are both not big partiers.
    My nephew has mentioned he wants to drink but I can't see him getting super drunk out a night
    I will really have to watch their alcohol take....... Especially since I love to drink. So need to be aware of how it's hitting them if we are out drinking

    Eating......I think, just knowing them, they will be somewhat open to try new foods, although Central America doesn't have any food that is so different from what they are used to, like Thailand.
    Hailey has a peanut allergy but doing my research, they don't use peanut in their food or sauces much at all.
    I am going to print out cards in Spanish and learn the phrases to tell restaurants about her peanut allergy.

    Other things like letting them go off on their own. That will be a worry but something I will encourage.


    As for the trip, except for their initial reluctance at staying at a hostel, they pretty much are leaving it up to me.

    It's also a bit stressful that I have to worry about them but also know I have to answer to their parents.
    If they were my kids I'd just have to worry about them.


    Any advice, throw it out there

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Yeah i think you are actually in a tricky situation tbh, .... probably more so given what you have told us about your sister ..

    below i dont mean to be condescending at all, and understanding you are smart as and well travelled ... the only difference this time is practically they are not your kids, even more so with the GF

    Many things spring to mind ... drinking, is your sister she cool with that .. peanut allergy, i feel really sorry for people with that, must be a pain in the ass, it can be quite dangerous ...travelling and languages adds a whole new dimension to it and i have no experience with that , do some google for ideas on how best to deal with it

    Letting them go off on they own is sweet ... but only in daylight hours i would think ?

    Back to drinking, didn't you have your nephew on a trip and crossed the drinking thing, how did that turn out in the end, i can't remember

    Compared to taking you own kids on a trip like this, your responsibility is 10 fold ...sort off, if you get what i mean

    Ultimately you have to put their safety always ahead of being the cool uncle ...

    edit: sorry to come of so neg ,, ,5555
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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    I went on holiday with my neighbours from the age of 14... same country... but still similar situations to travelling overseas... alcohol etc. Seemed no big deal... my parents always seemed fine with it...

    Then again.. I worry a lot and would not enjoy a holiday myself being responsible for someone else.. it's bad enough holidaying with mates... 55
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    There is different roles you can take in this. Your sister will expect you to take the "surrogate parent" role, but that could seriously damage the experience for your nephew, his GF and for yourself.
    You could take the "chaperone" role, but traveling is about making your own decisions and make your own mistake, the sense of freedom traveling should (for me) give would be lost..
    The "cool uncle" role as an entertainer could be fun for everyone, but exhausting for yourself.

    A lot more roles you could take, "the nanny", "the older friend", "the travel guide", etc., etc.

    I would ask them which role they would want you to play..
    Or for myself, I would just tell them something like "Traveling is like a river. Lay on the shores and relax, splash around, swim or follow the river downstream... Up2You! I will be the rock in the river, I will be there, you can come when you need me for anything.. But it's your holiday.. Enjoy it..".

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    ^^^ good thoughts Rak .... and can i add, maybe ask all parents ( 4 ? ) before you leave, which role they want you to play ... might take some pressure off and give good understanding between all parties involved
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    just thinking about myself at that age...I'd have been on the peyote and Coca within minutes of touching down....555
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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bacwaan View Post
    just thinking about myself at that age...I'd have been on the peyote and Coca within minutes of touching down....555
    And playing... "Let's lose the Uncle and change countries".. 55
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    I have travelled a few times with my kids. My son I have posted a few times on some TR as you know.

    I have also been on a few scuba diving trips with my party animal daughter. She is 22 now but we did Bali when she was 18 and Philippines last year. She got into a bit of trouble last year staying at some small island overnight when I wasn't with her. Long story short we found out the hotel owner was known to like young lady's. She was 4hrs away by boat and no boat to the morning. We were stressing trying to get to her or get her of the island.
    If you let the kids go out alone that's fine they need freedom and will want some space but man keep them close and in phone contact.

    Another time had my two daughters and my two step kids. Aged 17 to 23 with us. They all wanted to go out night clubbing. We were in Patong. The rule was stick together at all times no matter what. How hard can that be. Guess what they all forgot what hotel we were staying in and got very lost. If they go out give them the hotel business card.

    Just a few experiences I have had. But IMO give them some freedom.

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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OZZYGUY View Post
    ....Guess what they all forgot what hotel we were staying in and got very lost..
    555...yeah right....
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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    ^^ yeah my daytime only freedom point might have being a bit harsh in retro .. they are adults

    But its weird, your own kids just has a different feel to it .... when not your kids its almost take you are a teacher at school, the responsibilty angle just changes ,,

    In M26s case, i would have more concern responsibility wise for the GF ... the nephew is family
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Make sure the GF takes an Epipen (for anaphylactic shock) with a letter allowing her to carry it on a plane.
    Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Actually the more i think about Raks role concept and my idea of asking the parents what they expect or at least do they want any rules or boundaries in place, the more i think i would use this if i was taking someone else's kids abroad .

    Sounds a bit whimpy at first, but it puts the some of the control and decision back on the parents, and should anything go wrong, and i am sure it wont, but if you are within their boundaries, well hey what can you do

    I am sounding probably all a bit dramatic, but again this relates more to the GF

    And if they say, hey they are adults let them do what the want, then you are off scott free and its party time ..5555
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    Yeah i think you are actually in a tricky situation tbh, .... probably more so given what you have told us about your sister ..

    below i dont mean to be condescending at all, and understanding you are smart as and well travelled ... the only difference this time is practically they are not your kids, even more so with the GF

    Many things spring to mind ... drinking, is your sister she cool with that .. peanut allergy, i feel really sorry for people with that, must be a pain in the ass, it can be quite dangerous ...travelling and languages adds a whole new dimension to it and i have no experience with that , do some google for ideas on how best to deal with it

    Letting them go off on they own is sweet ... but only in daylight hours i would think ?

    Back to drinking, didn't you have your nephew on a trip and crossed the drinking thing, how did that turn out in the end, i can't remember

    Compared to taking you own kids on a trip like this, your responsibility is 10 fold ...sort off, if you get what i mean

    Ultimately you have to put their safety always ahead of being the cool uncle ...

    edit: sorry to come of so neg ,, ,5555
    Why sorry, I basically wrote the same thing....

    I went to Texas with his brother, who was 1 month shy of 20yrs old and normal for a kid that age whereas he has had experience with drinking so I still kept an eye on how he was handling the alcohol but it was clear he could handle it and it was like hanging out with buddies.

    They are of drinking age down there, so if they want to drink I can't say no. But they definitely aren't experienced so will keep a very good eye on them.
    They are sort of homebodies also.
    So I envision dinner, hanging out a bit and taking them back to apartment/hotel and heading back out

  14. #14
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RakThai View Post
    There is different roles you can take in this. Your sister will expect you to take the "surrogate parent" role, but that could seriously damage the experience for your nephew, his GF and for yourself.
    You could take the "chaperone" role, but traveling is about making your own decisions and make your own mistake, the sense of freedom traveling should (for me) give would be lost..
    The "cool uncle" role as an entertainer could be fun for everyone, but exhausting for yourself.

    A lot more roles you could take, "the nanny", "the older friend", "the travel guide", etc., etc.

    I would ask them which role they would want you to play..
    Or for myself, I would just tell them something like "Traveling is like a river. Lay on the shores and relax, splash around, swim or follow the river downstream... Up2You! I will be the rock in the river, I will be there, you can come when you need me for anything.. But it's your holiday.. Enjoy it..".
    For all intern purposes, I've been the parent role for him and his brother since they were born.
    That is not new to me.

    You could ask him and our friends when I cursed him out in Hawaii for wanting a 2nd cup of coffee at 16yrs old 555

    And I don't look at it as my holiday, honestly
    It is there holiday

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    ^^^ good thoughts Rak .... and can i add, maybe ask all parents ( 4 ? ) before you leave, which role they want you to play ... might take some pressure off and give good understanding between all parties involved
    All parents are secure that I will take the parent role.

    I suggested we set up a LINE group chat so we can keep them up to where we are and what we are doing.
    I just will have to stress to my sister we will keep her up but she can't text him every 10mins
    We have that issue already since they were 13/14yrs old
    She won't leave them alone when they go out and I always tell her that she is doing more harm than good.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bacwaan View Post
    just thinking about myself at that age...I'd have been on the peyote and Coca within minutes of touching down....555
    You are Australian, they are American 555

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    Make sure the GF takes an Epipen (for anaphylactic shock) with a letter allowing her to carry it on a plane.
    Yeah, I was joking about the Epipen at work yesterday

    But obviously only joking and know the seriousness of it.

    I've been emailing back and forth with her mom and she never mentioned the peanut allergy but I sent her an email just on that subject alone to let her know I was aware of Hailey's allergy and that I did research and that I would take the cards in Spanish to give to restaurants.

    So I think that will ease her mind that I am taking the kid's safety very serious.
    I don't think the parents worry will be an issue. I think they all know I will take good care.


    It's more me having to change a bit what I do on holiday.
    But I will easily do that just will be different.

    For example, I love riding MB when I'm on holiday. I look at it as part of the holiday.
    But I just won't do that this time.
    No way will I dare having them on a MB when they aren't experienced.

  18. #18
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    ^^ yeah my daytime only freedom point might have being a bit harsh in retro .. they are adults

    But its weird, your own kids just has a different feel to it .... when not your kids its almost take you are a teacher at school, the responsibilty angle just changes ,,

    In M26s case, i would have more concern responsibility wise for the GF ... the nephew is family
    Yeah but I'm still going to try and make sure we are mostly together at night.
    Without being suffocating.

    I can envision going to dinner and they will want to walk around the markets and such.
    That's where I plop down at a bar/outdoor restaurant and tell them that's where I will be.

    By the way. This trip came up because their whole class is going to Dominican Republic and they didn't want to go because everyone would be partying too much.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    Actually the more i think about Raks role concept and my idea of asking the parents what they expect or at least do they want any rules or boundaries in place, the more i think i would use this if i was taking someone else's kids abroad .

    Sounds a bit whimpy at first, but it puts the some of the control and decision back on the parents, and should anything go wrong, and i am sure it wont, but if you are within their boundaries, well hey what can you do

    I am sounding probably all a bit dramatic, but again this relates more to the GF

    And if they say, hey they are adults let them do what the want, then you are off scott free and its party time ..5555
    Well it's seems we are on the same page because basically saying the same things.

    I've already told Hailey's mom to ask me a million questions.

    It's not Central America, but my nephew comes and stays with me in Vancouver and I've taken him to Hawaii so I think Hailey's parents are comfortable with that fact that I didn't lose him or kill him 555

    I'm very cognizant of the parent's worry, extremely cognizant so it's 4 months away.
    I think they will be comfortable when the trip comes but also know that the worry will ramp up once we are going and there.

    It's not an inconvenience to me to keep them up on the group chat on a consistent basis while on holiday

  20. #20
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    By the way

    I really appreciate all the replies

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