On the back of Marc26 statement that "My wife just sends me a text saying x amount is due, no mucking around anymore 555 I got a 35k baht insurance text yesterday 555".
Sorry I have to tell the whole of this story, otherwise it will not be so funny.
I have never been married so never been taken to the cleaners that way, but one weekend we were going to meet some of my GF's friends who I had never met. I get the lowdown before I leave the house, no swearing, no saying you do not like the place we are going etc etc
Normal f''''ing drill 555
So on my best behavior we leave home at about 2PM on the ferry from Kirribilli into Sydney. Off to the Orient in the Rocks for the afternoon. Before we leave the Orient, I load up a few bets for the last 3 races in Perth, and then off to Double Bay for dinner. Place of meeting was changed, we head to the other couples house to meet the people I have never met before.
We have lovely canapes of smoke salmon, cream cheese and whatever else come out including some Moet. By this time the guys wife who was very skinny is getting well pissed.
The lady's husband, said he had changed the venue, we rock up to the place and it is a vegetarian place.
I fuc''''ing hate vegetables. My GF did not realise as it was a sort of a buffet place. They had all the sauces, sides etc, and when I asked if I could have chicken with my curry sauce and rice. No meat chicken or fish. So I sit down with a plate of rice and some green curry sauce and lettuce leaves. Everyone is looking strange at me but no one said a word. We leave and are invited back to their home again.
By this time the hostess is getting well pissed and gets out the Cointreau, she gives me a glass (daggers look from my GF), she slugs hers and before sitting down refills my glass with a very large one. By this stage she plonks an icream cake on the table and decides I need another top up. Bad move, she is wobbling while she reaches over and falls flat into the ice cream cake.
Here is me being told to be on my best behaviour, and never to this day have I ever done anything like that. I was holding my stomach trying not to laugh, especially when the husband (a lot older and bigger than her) picked her up by her collar of her jumper and threw her into bed.
It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen and the husband comes out a couple of minutes later, all appologetic, rang us a cab etc (most embarresed he was).
So we get a cab to the city, go to the Basement, see a great soul band more drinks and then home.
Beautiful day next day, the phone rings and is the hostess, I grab the phone and speak with her and all is good, we went out with them again in the city a while after that, but a more subdued affair.
So after that I say to my GF, we will head to Watson's Bay for lunch at the pub and watch the races. Of we go. Get to the wharf, and I suddenly realize when I get there I have not checked my bets from the night before.
So GF goes to the Ladys Room and I load my bets to be checked. couple go through and no winning sound and then suddenly a few beeps on the machine. At the time in there that meant you had one or more wins over $100. So then the guy says, I have to open the safe and get some more money, so ask him how much and he says just under $1500.
So off he goes, and I start to get some drinks in, hoping my GF did not come back before he paid me out.
Who happens to walk through the door just as they guy comes back with the money from the safe. You guessed it.
The barman looks at me, looks at her looking at him and then starts to count out just under $500 in notes to me and sorts of walks away. My GF then walks, turns and then she spots the barman trying to sneak 2 rolls of $500 in $50 notes into my hand. Then she pipes up are are they yours as well as the bloke is giving them to me. She then says there is $500 in each of those rolls, how much have you won.
Me and the barman just look at each other and laugh.
It was one of our favorite weekend pubs, we had been many times before, so I bought all the staff some drinks and it cost me lunch the place opposite the pub in an old house as Doyles was shut by the time we were hungry.
I offered her fresh prawn rolls that she would normally get from the kiosk on the wharf, but she was having none of that.
By the time I went home I I had about a grand left, but was a good day out.
Next time I went to the pub with some mates, the guy who paid me out, pulled me aside as said sorry for paying me out in front of my GF, I just laughed and said that her family were all bookies in Ireland, and it is the same with $500 in a roll of notes when they pay you out over there. Is just Euro's or Irish pounds, not dollars.
Overall, probably one of the best and most funny weekends I have had out, no matter what it cost and we still laugh about it