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Thread: Everyone has something to do

  1. #1
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Everyone has something to do

    Every morning I look at all the people going to work and I am amazed at how everyone has something to do. Some job they have to do to make a living. And I am shocked at how I have nothing to do.

    My wife messaged me today,

    "Honey, I think it's time you seriously thought about what you're going to do."

    She was referring to the fact that I have not been bringing home the bacon since January this year. She wasn't angry about it, no, she was very supportive and kind about it. In January when I told her that I won't be able to bring home any money, she said not to worry, she makes enough for everyone. Just take time and think about what I'm going to do next. It's been half a year and by now I should have some idea about what I'm going to do to make some bacon, but the fact of the matter is I have no freaking idea how I'm going to bring home the bacon!

    Making money is not easy to do. But everyone is doing it. The maid, the cook, the guy who works at the gas station... the guy who's driving in front of me, he's got a paying job somewhere I'm sure. Everyone is bringing home the bacon except me. And it sucks. I feel fucking useless and pathetic. I can't do what even a meatball vendor can do. Make money. Don't care if it's big money or small money. Just, 10 Baht, I cannot make.

    This evening, when I get home, there's going to be a talk about what I should do. And I'm thinking,

    'What CAN I do? Can I cook? Can I pump gas? Can I mix concrete? Can I drive an 18 wheel truck? What CAN I do that pays? Nothing!! I don't know how to do anything that pays. I can't fix computers, I can't install the internet, I can't paint the walls, I can't fix a car... I'm hopeless."

    I've been working single mindedly in my father's company for the last 15 years, once I'm out of it, there is nothing I can do to make a living. No side business, no extra commission that I've stashed away... no retirement fund, nothing. All I got is the change I have in my pockets, that's it. So how am I going to support a family of 4? I ask myself.

    And I have no answers. All I know is it seems everyone out there has something to do while I have nothing to do. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky but it is never easy because I get a sense of uselessness and it doesn't feel very good.

    So... I keep thinking... how am I going to bring home the bacon...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    Not sure what you would be able to do.

    You are in a similar situation to me in a away.

    3.5 years ago I sold my businesses. It was the only thing I knew how to do. Worked in it all my life. Come one Friday I got a cheque and that afternoon I was unemployed with money in the bank.

    So I planned to take a year off, do some traveling, I was single so wanted to enjoy my life.

    3.5 years later I'm still unemployed, well I just took on a part time sort of thing but that wont keep me busy. My biggest problem is I think to much about business and cannot sit still.

    I have come to the realisation I'm retired for now but I'm 50 and feel guilty that my wife still works.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    15 years in the same company. surely you've got some sort of skill,knowledge and experience in something or other useful?
    FACE YOUR FEARS LIVE YOUR DREAMS

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    GGrass,

    I take it you've been looking for work in the last 5 months? What happened to your father's company? Sorry if you've already mentioned this or if you don't want to.

    What was your role in the firm and what are your skill sets? One thing I've learned in my few short years is that we tend to underestimate ourselves far more than we overestimate. So I hope you don't feel shy about being a little more "honest" than usual on your resume! 55 I find once the feet are through the door then you can pretty much make it one way or another.

    Plus your English is fantastic so that has to automatically put you above many many people, depending on the role.

    What about working as a translator? Or English teacher? Only examples.

    Quote Originally Posted by Moo Uaon View Post
    15 years in the same company. surely you've got some sort of skill,knowledge and experience in something or other useful?
    I've been in the same company for most of my working life and I feel anxious about losing my job. Not that I'm in danger of losing it, or because of the market. But when I think about so many of my skills I've noticed that they're very company specific. Especially when it comes to a private company like ours where so many wheels have been reinvented from scratch. If I went elsewhere and tried to do some of the things I do now the way I do them they'd probably ask me wtf is.wrong with me 555.
    Last edited by Bacon; 19th June 2017 at 20:13.
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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OZZYGUY View Post

    I have come to the realisation I'm retired for now but I'm 50 and feel guilty that my wife still works.
    Guilt....such a waste of an emotion....

    are you still paying for the houses/cars/food/utilities bills/entertainment etc etc...if so it's not even a warranted one

    Plus from what she told me she loves her vocation...and she's way too young to be sitting around the house all day thinking up ways of spending your money...555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bacwaan View Post
    Guilt....such a waste of an emotion....

    are you still paying for the houses/cars/food/utilities bills/entertainment etc etc...if so it's not even a warranted one

    Plus from what she told me she loves her vocation...and she's way too young to be sitting around the house all day thinking up ways of spending your money...555
    I brought the house but we both pay the bills.

    Young....she's a old chook compared to most BM's girls..........55
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    ^ Have you guys met?
    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacon View Post
    ^ Have you guys met?
    Me and Nels?

    If so yes

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OZZYGUY View Post
    Me and Nels?

    If so yes
    Sorry never mind. Tapatalk doesn't show you the author of quotes, I thought Baccy was referring to GGrass when he was talking about the missus.
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  10. #10
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacon View Post
    GGrass,

    I take it you've been looking for work in the last 5 months? What happened to your father's company? Sorry if you've already mentioned this or if you don't want to.

    What was your role in the firm and what are your skill sets? One thing I've learned in my few short years is that we tend to underestimate ourselves far more than we overestimate. So I hope you don't feel shy about being a little more "honest" than usual on your resume! 55 I find once the feet are through the door then you can pretty much make it one way or another.

    Plus your English is fantastic so that has to automatically put you above many many people, depending on the role.

    What about working as a translator? Or English teacher? Only examples.



    I've been in the same company for most of my working life and I feel anxious about losing my job. Not that I'm in danger of losing it, or because of the market. But when I think about so many of my skills I've noticed that they're very company specific. Especially when it comes to a private company like ours where so many wheels have been reinvented from scratch. If I went elsewhere and tried to do some of the things I do now the way I do them they'd probably ask me wtf is.wrong with me 555.
    Mr. Bacon, thanks for your advises and kind words. I've thought about teaching, but I don't think any school will want to hire me for anything because I have no diploma of any kind. I do have an industrial engineering degree from one of the Thai university, but at my age, that piece of paper doesn't mean much. My English is my second language, and my spoken English is horrible because of mixture of accents I got from all over the world... Thai English accent is strong, Konglish accent is there. And on top of that, there is the Central Asian influence from India and Bangladesh. German accent is a problem for me because sometimes I find myself using it after talking with Germans for few years... my predominant accent is American, but these days there's hardly any left.

    ---

    Currently I am working at my father's company as the factory manager/sales manager/purchase manager/chief engineer/I.T. manager/delivery man/gardener/etc etc etc Oh, and I have about a quarter of the company share. Started at minimum wage. No joking.

    First 10 years were great. Not astronomical, but enough. Then, in the last 5 years, everything went down hill. I won't go into the details of how or why it went downhill because it's boring. But the important thing is that currently the company is in the red, and it's been in red for the last 5 years. The cumulative loss is in tens of millions. All the money my father had, he put it in the company to cover the loss. Now, there is no money.

    I studied the numbers and the only proper thing to do is to stop the production and close down the factory. As a manufacturer, we cannot win against the Chinese. As long as the Chinese are making the same thing we are making but at half our price, there is no point to compete. Just, pack up and move elsewhere. It's not giving up, it's not defeat, it's just surviving. Fight and die, or flight and live?

    May be if we liquidated everything and invested the money in some other business, we'd be better off, who knows?

    But the old man is firm. He will not abandon. He'll still be in the wheelhouse when the ship goes down... it is so sad to watch my own father's demise...

    And this is my suffering. I am such a selfish asshole, to abandon my father in his hardest moment... But there is nothing I can do to help him. If you look at our company book, anyone with basic accounting skill will tell you that it's better to stop the bleeding than to continue with the loss. And lately, the only way to help my father is to go and borrow money from other people to bring to the company.

    And I've been doing that for the last few years and I am dead tired right now. I don't want to work any more. Not like this. And even with all this, I know with 100% certainty that this month, the company will lose XXX amount of money. And there is not enough money to pay the workers' salaries. So I cannot afford to pay my own salary. And since January this year, I stopped paying myself my salary. So that is how I came to lose my only source of income.

    I know... it's complicated.

    So I stopped paying myself, but I still go to work 3-4 days a week. I still do most of the work I used to do, but if it's about money issue, I cannot be bothered.

    And slowly I've been looking for other things to do... I'm not looking to get a new job in a new company, I'm looking for... things I can do to make money for myself so that I can pay the bills and put some food on the table. Be able to pay the school tuition fee for once and buy my wife a nice gift.

    And at home it's a problem that I'm bringing ZERO bacon and my wife is bringing tons. But that's another issue.
    Last edited by GGrass; 20th June 2017 at 12:11.
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  11. #11
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OZZYGUY View Post
    I have come to the realisation I'm retired for now but I'm 50 and feel guilty that my wife still works.
    This too is one of my suffering. I'm 40+ and living on allowance from my wife. The shame...
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    But you do have marketable skills, especially in Thailand where there is a ton of manufacturing companies.

    I just think you are feeling all the brunt and weight you've been carrying at your family business.

    2 suggestions.
    1st hook up with an executive recruiter in the manufacturing industry and see what's out there for you.

    2nd....if your wife makes a lot of money then she has a good job and knows people. Have a serious discussion with her about networking through her.

    I think you are diminishing your resume, sounds plenty good to me.
    And at least get out there looking to see if you are marketable.

  13. #13
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    But you do have marketable skills, especially in Thailand where there is a ton of manufacturing companies.

    I just think you are feeling all the brunt and weight you've been carrying at your family business.

    2 suggestions.
    1st hook up with an executive recruiter in the manufacturing industry and see what's out there for you.

    2nd....if your wife makes a lot of money then she has a good job and knows people. Have a serious discussion with her about networking through her.

    I think you are diminishing your resume, sounds plenty good to me.
    And at least get out there looking to see if you are marketable.
    but isn't it a case of..
    1) abandon your father and the others follow?

    i feel for you Grassy...
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moo Uaon View Post
    but isn't it a case of..
    1) abandon your father and the others follow?

    i feel for you Grassy...
    Sure but it seems he has done all he can and has expressed that to his father.
    It's not an enviable place to be in and no action should be taken lightly
    But GG has a family he is responsible for also.

    And it doesn't hurt to look to see what's out there to understand your value.
    Then he can make an informed decision
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Cuzzy's Avatar
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    I had a very lucrative position subcontracting through a mate who had a good contact.

    The contract was up for renewal and over a few weeks of negotiations we learned that our bid was unsuccessful.

    I had to get a job and ended up working in a warehouse for 1/3 of what I was earning before.

    It was a huge lifestyle change and I struggled adjusting financially and socially.

    But, there are always opportunities. You have to look at what is going on around you. See if there is a need that you can fill or supply.

    For me, the company I work for sends most of its orders out on shipping pallets. They bought about 300 or more a month.

    I saw empty ones out on the roadside free for whoever wanted them.

    Now I supply two other businesses as well. It's a bit of grunt work, good workout for an old codger like me. No capital outlay other than the car and trailer I already had and the product costs me nothing.

    Open the eyes, think outside what you are used to and you may easily find a solution and to give yourself the satisfaction you seek.

    It is out there.

    Your father looks at his business as he looks at his children. Emotional connection is very difficult to release.
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    Quote Originally Posted by GGrass View Post
    Currently I am working at my father's company as the factory manager/sales manager/purchase manager/chief engineer/I.T. manager/delivery man/gardener/etc etc etc Oh, and I have about a quarter of the company share. Started at minimum wage. No joking.

    First 10 years were great. Not astronomical, but enough. Then, in the last 5 years, everything went down hill. I won't go into the details of how or why it went downhill because it's boring. But the important thing is that currently the company is in the red, and it's been in red for the last 5 years. The cumulative loss is in tens of millions. All the money my father had, he put it in the company to cover the loss. Now, there is no money.

    I studied the numbers and the only proper thing to do is to stop the production and close down the factory. As a manufacturer, we cannot win against the Chinese. As long as the Chinese are making the same thing we are making but at half our price, there is no point to compete. Just, pack up and move elsewhere. It's not giving up, it's not defeat, it's just surviving. Fight and die, or flight and live?

    May be if we liquidated everything and invested the money in some other business, we'd be better off, who knows?

    But the old man is firm. He will not abandon. He'll still be in the wheelhouse when the ship goes down... it is so sad to watch my own father's demise...
    I have a lot of empathy with your situation. I am in the same one except I am the father and my son is you.

    It becomes very hard to give up when employees depend on you. Some of them have been with me over 30 years and just the termination benefits mandated by Thai labour law make it financially impossible to close the company. Better to blunder on and hope some new work turns up.
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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    You can't win
    You can't break even
    And you can't even quit the game?
    What a nightmare.
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    Life is the unexpected ...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moo Uaon View Post
    but isn't it a case of..
    1) abandon your father and the others follow?

    i feel for you Grassy...
    Thanks for the sympathy, I feel much better already. And thanks for understanding my problem. Abandon my father and others will follow.

    If I quit, I think a lot of old timers will quit. Not because of me, but because it is time to quit. They are reaching 60 now, they want to rest. They've worked hard for a long time. Seeing me quit will encourage them to quit. And in a way, I want them to quit... I want them to spend their remaining years in some kind of comfort. They were young men and women when they first started working with me. I was a college graduate, fresh out of college. Now they are old uncles and aunties, many of them are grandma and grandpa. As for me, I now have two grown boys and although I have remained physically fit, I've lost nearly 50% of my hair.

    It's tough... but everyone has good spirits. I've told them that I will never leave the company. May be I won't be coming to work everyday, but from wherever I am, I will be working for the company in one way or another. Perhaps it was just an excuse to cut my work days from 6 to 3.

    Now, 3 days of the week I go to work. And the rest of the days, I wander around aimlessly, looking for things to do because I have nothing to do.
    Last edited by GGrass; 20th June 2017 at 18:51.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Sorry but it seems to me that you for a long time were in the comfort of Papa.
    Take one or two of those days off and analyse your skills and how you can apply them here to a future job.
    Make him wind it up - without remorse.
    He has blown the 25% you earnt and a lot since that was gone.
    Face reality - liquidate.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GGrass View Post
    Thanks for the sympathy, I feel much better already. And thanks for understanding my problem. Abandon my father and others will follow.

    If I quit, I think a lot of old timers will quit. Not because of me, but because it is time to quit. They are reaching 60 now, they want to rest. They've worked hard for a long time. Seeing me quit will encourage them to quit. And in a way, I want them to quit... I want them to spend their remaining years in some kind of comfort. They were young men and women when they first started working with me. I was a college graduate, fresh out of college. Now they are old uncles and aunties, many of them are grandma and grandpa. As for me, I now have two grown boys and although I have remained physically fit, I've lost nearly 50% of my hair.

    It's tough... but everyone has good spirits. I've told them that I will never leave the company. May be I won't be coming to work everyday, but from wherever I am, I will be working for the company in one way or another. Perhaps it was just an excuse to cut my work days from 6 to 3.

    Now, 3 days of the week I go to work. And the rest of the days, I wander around aimlessly, looking for things to do because I have nothing to do.
    Khun GGras, you've got issues!

    First is the issue with your self-image, which is so poor that it is leading you to depression! Do something about that, because it is holding you back and eating you from inside!

    Second, and as a consequence, you are not able to see the skill-set you are equipped with..
    And you fail to see your most sell-able skills as assets..
    But you do speak three languages fluent, have contacts in Thailand, Have management experience in Thailand, etc..
    In your shoes I would look at "facilitator" jobs in Thai-Korean trade or business.. Don't do anything, just be an intermediate who can arrange hotels, meeting-rooms, local lawyers or registered interpreters. But you understand two cultures and their differences deep in your soul, and many business deals bounce because of cultural misunderstanding..
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