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Thread: How to deal with your kid's issues?

  1. #21
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by retdent View Post
    Not in parenting. That is all an unique individual event, there are no set rules and we do the best we can. We don't get taught parenting. We make it up as best we can, as we do the journey, for better or worse.

    The professional mode is in dealing with patients and acting in a somewhat detached manner. Treat him in the same way. You will probably piss him off because he would likely be expecting you to lose control. Just wear your Doctor's cap. (May be go in with your stethoscope around your neck).
    I could do that!
    "Sorry teach, I am afraid I've some bad news for you..
    Prognosis is not looking good..
    3 months tops..
    Better start looking for a new job.. " 555
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  2. #22
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน supersub's Avatar
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    I think as youngsters are going through the education machine it's important their role models remain impartial. Some families are religious so if a student from such a family is listening to their teacher talk down on religion, then that may interfere in their studies.

    That aside I think your daughters teacher is behaving unprofessionally. Turning up late, not teaching a full class and then marking someone who leaves as absent? Sounds like childish behaviour to me. I know some teachers can have unique or quirky teaching styles too.

    I would definitely meet with the teacher face to face and see what he has to say. Maybe also speak the parents of other children in the class and see if they have concerns. If enough do then that may warrant escalation to the headmaster/mistress.

  3. #23
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by supersub View Post
    I think as youngsters are going through the education machine it's important their role models remain impartial. Some families are religious so if a student from such a family is listening to their teacher talk down on religion, then that may interfere in their studies.

    That aside I think your daughters teacher is behaving unprofessionally. Turning up late, not teaching a full class and then marking someone who leaves as absent? Sounds like childish behaviour to me. I know some teachers can have unique or quirky teaching styles too.

    I would definitely meet with the teacher face to face and see what he has to say. Maybe also speak the parents of other children in the class and see if they have concerns. If enough do then that may warrant escalation to the headmaster/mistress.
    Sound advise and I may have considered a one on one before I filed the complaint.. Hey, I'm on a learning curve.. 55

    But I did file the complaint, and I haven't heard anything back..

    yet a friend of my daughter (probably seen what I wrote), even being in a different class, had a major fallout with the same teacher today..
    To which he responded to my daughter (3 hours later) and suggested a meeting with the 2 girls and the supervisor...
    Obvious he was informed about the complaint.. And wants to address the issue with students without parents.. Shows his character imo..

    Obviously, I advised my daughter I, and the parents of the other girl, would be demanded to be present at such a meeting..

    To be continued..

  4. #24
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน supersub's Avatar
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    Sit back and see what happens now. But at least you know it's not just your daughter having issues with him.

    When you meet him just remain cool. I've seen some people loose their temper and it's hard to recover an argument from there even if they are in the right. You don't seem the aggressive type anyway though.
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  5. #25
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Dupree's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RakThai View Post
    Spent some time tonight writing a complaint about one of my daughter's teachers.
    She has been complaining about him for a long time, and the severity of what she says warrants an official complaint..

    However, I have never met or spoken to this teacher, all I have to go on is my daughter's perception of things..

    The teacher in question is her Philosophy teacher, who is young, atheist and very judgmental...

    Calls religion "stupid", suicide "selfish"and students "failures".. At least, that's what's my daughter tells me..

    He keeps coming late to classes, and writes up any student who did not wait for him and left... even when he was 20 min late...

    Latest incident was when he finished teaching after half an hour and used the rest of class to promote his self-made DJ music..
    That was when my daughter left the class and he wrote her up for being absent for the whole hour...

    Now I believe my daughter tells me the truth, and I did file an official complaint, demanding my daughter being exempted from his classes..

    But... He's teacher, she's just a student and I am just a parent who doesn't even know this teacher..


    Am I being a pushover for my daughter?
    Am I responding too soon, too fast or to the wrong person?
    How would you handle a situation like this?
    You have an issue with the Philosophy teacher's philosophy on teaching? 55 And you have an issue with his atheism and his judgments? And that he calls religion stupid? Excuse me but isn't that what a philosophy is? 55 And daughter walking out of class because she didn't approve of what the teacher was doing? This is a whole new level of over parenting.
    I just girl in bar. Buy me one dink?....

  6. #26
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน obes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RakThai View Post
    yet a friend of my daughter (probably seen what I wrote), even being in a different class,
    How would that happen.......................

  7. #27
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Rose coloured glasses when it comes to daughters so with a grain of salt I would test the situation and meet, otherwise writing complaints from afar can be dismissed far too easily.
    If your there and you dont like what you see or hear you are then more informed and can move up the chain till you get the response you need to address the situation.
    The other thing for me is it just your daughter having these issues or are there more a group of parents carry far more weight!
    .

  8. #28
    Cadet Gold mechime's Avatar
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    My 2 Son's, when at boarding school, were both accomplished players at many sports as well as Capt of teams at Prep school; the Rugby Coach took too many ideas from GI boot camp films and often referred to the weaker kids physical conditions; had a meeting with Head and him at which he came out as a bigot, the Head gave a calming talk to both parties, nothing much changed but he lost interest from 2 of his better players and Ma and Pa got a lot of cred from their Boy's.

  9. #29
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Mr. Smiley's Avatar
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    Well, if it's high school, isn't there a school guidance counsellor she can confide in? Then it'd be on the counsellor to follow up with the teacher in question then barring any action you can set up a meeting with the teacher, yourself and the counsellor as a 3rd party mediator to put together some plan going forward.
    Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by mechime View Post
    My 2 Son's, when at boarding school, were both accomplished players at many sports as well as Capt of teams at Prep school; the Rugby Coach took too many ideas from GI boot camp films and often referred to the weaker kids physical conditions; had a meeting with Head and him at which he came out as a bigot, the Head gave a calming talk to both parties, nothing much changed but he lost interest from 2 of his better players and Ma and Pa got a lot of cred from their Boy's.
    I probably told this story before, but it fits this topic. My daughter was always an alpha personality and a grade A student from day one. Her problem was not knowing how to deal with people. My son was the opposite. He is easy going and everyone loved him... and they still do. He never has problems with people and it helps him with his business today. BUT, unlike his sister, Matthew was not interested in getting good marks at school. C minus was good enough for him and he was happy to squeak by with just a bare passing grade. He was always so easy going that nothing seemed to bother him. I was much the same, so I could understand him. Our difference is that I'm a loner, whereas Matthew is gregarious with lots of friends.

    Because the local school where we lived in Chemainus did not have a good reputation, we put our two kids in a nearby private Catholic school where some of our friend's children went.

    Everything was fine until about grade 7 when my son brought home a writing assignment. The students had to write a 3 page story about anything they chose. Being a writer myself, I asked Matthew if he wanted to get an A instead of his usual C minus. I told him to write anything he wanted and I would edit and correct it. Matthew said okay, he would, and he seemed excited about it.

    Matthew is quite creative and he wrote a pretty good story, but it was full of spelling errors, bad punctuation and repeated adjectives. I pointed those out and taught him to use a thesaurus and choose different words for the same thing. Matthew re-wrote the story 3 times before I thought he had done a great job which deserved an A plus. He turned it in the next day.

    Two days later, Matthew came home all dejected. He threw his assignment on the table angrily and said... "See! I'm no good. I didn't get an A, I only got a C!".

    At that point I got angry. I consoled Matthew for all the work he had put in to try and get a better mark. I said I would have a meeting with his teacher and the principal of the school.... Which I did.

    Two days later I told the teacher and the principal that the teacher had just killed my son's incentive to improve himself. I compared her to the martinet Nurse Ratchedin the movie "One flew over the cuckoo's nest".

    That did not sit well with the two ladies. In a huffy voice, the teacher said that it was obvious to her that Matthew had not written the story, because of all the words he used, and it was not full of his usual mistakes. I explained what we had done, but said it was indeed Matthew's story. But, I agreed to compromise. I said I would take the assignment home and let Matthew write it again for the 4th or 5th time.

    I had a hard time convincing Matthew to write the story again, but he agreed to it. I told him to intentionally make some mistakes and turn it in. He thought that was funny and he did so.

    He came home with a "B" instead of an "A", and was a bit grumpy about it, but I said it did not matter. He had learned a good lesson and that is all that really matters in life.

  11. #31
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Could be a good learning experience for your daughter dealing with someone who has different views. Also the music might have had a learning outcome and your daughter should not have left without permission. Young adults need to learn to respect authority and argue their point rather than leave which is taking the easy way out.

    Also filing a complaint without hearing all the facts reinforces the above. By all means have a meeting. Get to the bottom of it with all parties but looking to be exempted from the class demonstrates that have a strop will get my way. Won’t help in the real world.

  12. #32
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน obes's Avatar
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    What is the "Real World" now though Notorious - do kids nowadays actually have any sort of grasp of what it looks like......................

  13. #33
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Quote Originally Posted by obes View Post
    What is the "Real World" now though Notorious - do kids nowadays actually have any sort of grasp of what it looks like......................
    Real world no matter what it looks like will always have the same structures. And reenforcing strops won’t help. Authority will always be there and people need to learn how to deal with it either by respecting it or challenging it. Having a father automatically taking sides and siding with running away won’t help anyone.

    Btw his class sounds like a joke but how it was dealt with will never fix that.

  14. #34
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน obes's Avatar
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    I think the structure is actually failing now and well on the way to collapse, it's the me me - now now world these days.

  15. #35
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Quote Originally Posted by obes View Post
    I think the structure is actually failing now and well on the way to collapse, it's the me me - now now world these days.
    It will get worse if we allow kids and young adults to get away with poor behavior and not having consequences for their actions. It is actually harming freedom of speech. There has to be authority for society to work and if we don’t discipline poor behavior then I agree it will dismantle.
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  16. #36
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    An example of ultra PC was a march a month ago in Ireland. It was 100 muslims and about 20 white Irish university students marching shouting allah akbar and death to America. The university students argued that they were against islamaphobia. 10 police walked beside them and protected them. A week before I was at a graveyard where there was a memorial ceremony for republicans who died 100 years ago. It was immediately closed by police and 10 people arrested. Only reason is it was seen as not PC. I worry about where it will end.
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  17. #37
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Notorius View Post
    An example of ultra PC was a march a month ago in Ireland. It was 100 muslims and about 20 white Irish university students marching shouting allah akbar and death to America. The university students argued that they were against islamaphobia. 10 police walked beside them and protected them. A week before I was at a graveyard where there was a memorial ceremony for republicans who died 100 years ago. It was immediately closed by police and 10 people arrested. Only reason is it was seen as not PC. I worry about where it will end.
    Or was it that they saw it as more likely leading to violence? Things aren't always as simple/PC as they may appear... if it was purely PC, then it's just silly and self-defeating...

    As regards Rak and his daughter. I don't blame him for siding with his daughter... every parent should trust their kids opinion first... and then investigate it further. But I don't see it as a strop if the teacher really was out of order... which he may well have been...
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


  18. #38
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    Or was it that they saw it as more likely leading to violence? Things aren't always as simple/PC as they may appear... if it was purely PC, then it's just silly and self-defeating...

    As regards Rak and his daughter. I don't blame him for siding with his daughter... every parent should trust their kids opinion first... and then investigate it further. But I don't see it as a strop if the teacher really was out of order... which he may well have been...
    It was a ceremony laying Lillie’s of 1916 martyrs. No violence and nothing to do with modern republicanism. I thinking marching Muslims shouting death to America and the west more likely to lead to violence but allowed to march through main streets. Especially after most of the ISIS suicide terrorist come through Ireland first. But there is a fear of being seen as racist or phobic. I have an issue with that especially as it is being supported by university students.

    I want to point out that I would fully support organized peaceful marches. I was an advocate for allowing Israeli people argue against anti semites. I don’t agree with ultra PC snowflakes being allowed to do what they want.
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  19. #39
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Notorius View Post
    It was a ceremony laying Lillie’s of 1916 martyrs. No violence and nothing to do with modern republicanism. I thinking marching Muslims shouting death to America and the west more likely to lead to violence but allowed to march through main streets. Especially after most of the ISIS suicide terrorist come through Ireland first. But there is a fear of being seen as racist or phobic. I have an issue with that especially as it is being supported by university students.

    I want to point out that I would fully support organized peaceful marches. I was an advocate for allowing Israeli people argue against anti semites. I don’t agree with ultra PC snowflakes being allowed to do what they want.
    So an Islamophobia march isn't the same? The chanting of death to America is an issue... and they should likely have been told at that point to stop the hatred chants or the parade would be stopped.... but the theme of the march doesn't sound like it was any different to that Israeli march you mentioned?
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


  20. #40
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    So an Islamophobia march isn't the same? The chanting of death to America is an issue... and they should likely have been told at that point to stop the hatred chants or the parade would be stopped.... but the theme of the march doesn't sound like it was any different to that Israeli march you mentioned?
    It wasn’t an Israeli March it was a debate about holocaust deniers where I ad coated that Israeli speakers be allowed answer without fear of censorship because free speech is integral to society. I also advocated to allow Israeli speakers debate the Palestinian situation even if what they said was contrary to my own opinion and my own experiences.

    The graveyard ceremony was laying flowers and blessing of graves. Not chanting violence.

    What I don’t advocate is to allow chanting of violence because to stop it may offend people.
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