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Thread: Life changing event?

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Life changing event?

    I was on my walk on the beach the other day and stopped to just take in how much I truly love living in Vancouver. It may sound sappy but I truly feel lucky that I live here......


    And it got me thinking, if my mom didn't die when I was 31yrs old, I would probably never have left NYC and might even moved back to Boston.

    I would have been very happy doing so, but I think I am much happier living the life that I ended up having
    Obviously I would have traded that for my mom to lived much longer

    I remember when I decided to move to Thailand with no real plan to come back to the US. I had planned to not work for a couple of years and then start looking for a job in Hong Kong and Singapore
    I remember my sister(different mothers) drove me to the airport and her saying that I would never have done this is my mom was still around.

    I never even had an inkling to even visit Vancouver
    Then after living in Thailand about 8-9 months I got a call to see if I wanted to go to Vancouver as a consultant for 3-4 months. The money was insane and they put me up at the Marriott. I thought why not?
    Then they asked me to stay for another year then they scrapped what they initially brought me here for and asked me to start the division I now run


    This worked out perfect, I love living here but I am back in NYC and Boston every 2-3/mos(on the company dime no less!)
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    I still keep in touch with my college gf who I was very close to marrying, very close. At about only 23-24yrs old!

    And although I still love her as a person I think that would have been a nightmar
    It would have just hanging with the same people over and over and doing the Caribbean vacations every year


    We still have 2-3hour talks every few months but I get off the phone and breath a big sigh of relief that I dodged that one!!


    PS...........She dumped me and really broke my heart bad! 5555 But she now often says she made a huge mistake. I have no romantic interest at all in her. And when she says she made a mistake sometimes I want to say "thank fuck you did!" 5555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Dupree's Avatar
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    I'm going back to Syracuse tomorrow for the 4th. Last time I was there I looked up an old gf. We had a good date. But she is a nut job. She dumped me to. Thank God..55
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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    I've had "lives" in Sydney, London, NYC, NZ (Wellington + Auckland mostly) and Thailand (split between Phuket and Samui)...plus long stints in Buenos Aires, Barcelona, Hong Kong and Tokyo

    All of these have had different girlfriends and some even wives...its kinda like different chapters of your life...each with their own stories...and life experience..

    I wouldn't change any of them...and still wonder whether I may be able to squeeze just one more in...if I did it may well be somewhere in South/Central America
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    Cadet silver VanD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I never even had an inkling to even visit Vancouver
    Life is funny that way. When I was in my early twenties I was trying to move west to Victoria, BC, and got sidetracked in the Kelowna area. I thought it would be a short stop, but thirteen years later we were still there, living a good life. Then I got offered a position in Toronto (a place I said I would never move to) that was too good to pass up and nine years later we're still here, loving everything that Toronto has to offer. We're now looking at a possible move to Europe, but whatever happens, things usually work out and it's amazing how things unfold; sometimes the detours and sidetracks are fantastic happy accidents.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VanD View Post
    Life is funny that way. When I was in my early twenties I was trying to move west to Victoria, BC, and got sidetracked in the Kelowna area. I thought it would be a short stop, but thirteen years later we were still there, living a good life. Then I got offered a position in Toronto (a place I said I would never move to) that was too good to pass up and nine years later we're still here, loving everything that Toronto has to offer. We're now looking at a possible move to Europe, but whatever happens, things usually work out and it's amazing how things unfold; sometimes the detours and sidetracks are fantastic happy accidents.
    It's crazy how many people in Vancouver talk shit about TO

    I love Toronto
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    Cadet silver VanD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    It's crazy how many people in Vancouver talk shit about TO

    I love Toronto
    So true - the entire time I was in BC people wouldn't shut up about how much they hated everything about Toronto - I think people on the west coast have an inferiority complex (and I say that as someone who loves BC and all of my closest friends live there). Either way, I've found Toronto to be a phenomenal city - friendly people, great sports, music, arts, food, you name it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    It's crazy how many people in Vancouver talk shit about TO

    I love Toronto
    There is a valid reason for that. Those who run Canada think Toronto is the center of the universe... and act like it. Toronto acts like a parent that is still trying to tell you what to do when you are 40 years old with a good career. I have about 50 examples of it. A lot has to do with CBC news.

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    Life changing event? I have had many, and some quite dramatically so.

    I never would have come to Asia had it not been for my second wife's problem adult son. Now as an old fart (57 to 78), I've been longer as a "single bloke" than I was in my dating prime... 18 to 30 years old.

    Ever watch the movie "Sliding doors"? It is about a woman's parallel lives depending on a simple choice she makes.

    That is how I view life. From the time we wake up in the morning until we go to bed at night, we make a continuous series of choices. Some could kill you if you make the wrong one... Or, you could meet the love of your life and live happily ever after. It can be as simple as that... just a matter of luck, good or bad.

    Good poker players will understand what I mean. You ride your good luck as long as it lasts, but you back off and don't take as many chances when your luck runs sour.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Speaking of sliding doors, not sure if I've told this story before or not. Both my parents went to prison shortly after I was born and I more or less grew up without them during the first few years of my life. My grandma took care of me and we would visit my mum once a month. It was something like a 16 hour bus ride. We didn't really know where dad was for a long time.

    Once after a visit we were running late and had to rush back for the bus. But something happened and we got delayed for about 30 seconds. I fell down or something cause of my shoe lace or the shoe came off, not sure. But that delay was enough to keep me on this earth. As we were about to turn the corner to get on the bus the whole thing got shelled. I remember my whole body shaking from the wave. I managed to catch a glimpse of it. It was like a crushed can with fumes bellowing out. The smell of burning human flesh has pretty much been tattooed in my mind since. Just a very foggy memory now but the general background tension and anxiety has never left me(many other trumas contributed too). I pretty much live with it all the time.

    The butterfly effect is an exageration, but it'd be interesting to know how far little everyday actions and gestures can go. You stub your toe in the morning and get a little shitty, so you end up being a bit rude to some waiter cause of it, he stops for a drink before going home cause he had a shitty day, ends up yelling at his wife who smacks her kid who ends up bullying some other kid in school cause of it who then decides to grab his fathers gun and kill a bunch of people etc etc. It's an interesting subject.
    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Causal determinism sort of... but there is usually a reason behind everything...

    Can you say where your bus got bombed? Pretty horrific... I wonder what stresses in later life we get from traumatic events. I have been researching Parkinson's a lot because my mum has it.. and there is a lot of evidence that many Parkinson's patients may be suffering from PTSD or similar neurological condition that can be caused by suppressed emotional trauma affecting the autonomous nervous system...

    We still have a lot to learn concerning mental and physiological health...

    I was hit by a car when I was 5 yrs old on the way to school. Ran out in front of it... didn't kill me obviously... but broke arms and cracked my skull badly.... off school for a year... and I suffered nightmares about it until I was about eleven... then I spent a year in England and the nightmares vanished... I don't feel any associated trauma with it... but maybe it still affects me in ways I don't understand...
    Last edited by Quarky; 30th June 2018 at 02:12.
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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacon View Post
    Speaking of sliding doors, not sure if I've told this story before or not. Both my parents went to prison shortly after I was born and I more or less grew up without them during the first few years of my life. My grandma took care of me and we would visit my mum once a month. It was something like a 16 hour bus ride. We didn't really know where dad was for a long time.

    Once after a visit we were running late and had to rush back for the bus. But something happened and we got delayed for about 30 seconds. I fell down or something cause of my shoe lace or the shoe came off, not sure. But that delay was enough to keep me on this earth. As we were about to turn the corner to get on the bus the whole thing got shelled. I remember my whole body shaking from the wave. I managed to catch a glimpse of it. It was like a crushed can with fumes bellowing out. The smell of burning human flesh has pretty much been tattooed in my mind since. Just a very foggy memory now but the general background tension and anxiety has never left me(many other trumas contributed too). I pretty much live with it all the time.

    The butterfly effect is an exageration, but it'd be interesting to know how far little everyday actions and gestures can go. You stub your toe in the morning and get a little shitty, so you end up being a bit rude to some waiter cause of it, he stops for a drink before going home cause he had a shitty day, ends up yelling at his wife who smacks her kid who ends up bullying some other kid in school cause of it who then decides to grab his fathers gun and kill a bunch of people etc etc. It's an interesting subject.
    Fuck...and Double Fuck...now that's Trauma
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacon View Post
    Speaking of sliding doors, not sure if I've told this story before or not. Both my parents went to prison shortly after I was born and I more or less grew up without them during the first few years of my life. My grandma took care of me and we would visit my mum once a month. It was something like a 16 hour bus ride. We didn't really know where dad was for a long time.

    Once after a visit we were running late and had to rush back for the bus. But something happened and we got delayed for about 30 seconds. I fell down or something cause of my shoe lace or the shoe came off, not sure. But that delay was enough to keep me on this earth. As we were about to turn the corner to get on the bus the whole thing got shelled. I remember my whole body shaking from the wave. I managed to catch a glimpse of it. It was like a crushed can with fumes bellowing out. The smell of burning human flesh has pretty much been tattooed in my mind since. Just a very foggy memory now but the general background tension and anxiety has never left me(many other trumas contributed too). I pretty much live with it all the time.

    The butterfly effect is an exageration, but it'd be interesting to know how far little everyday actions and gestures can go. You stub your toe in the morning and get a little shitty, so you end up being a bit rude to some waiter cause of it, he stops for a drink before going home cause he had a shitty day, ends up yelling at his wife who smacks her kid who ends up bullying some other kid in school cause of it who then decides to grab his fathers gun and kill a bunch of people etc etc. It's an interesting subject.
    As Bacwaan says, That is trauma..

    Be wise and do some EMDR sessions before it catches up with you and stops you like a full-blown PTSD eventually will.. seriously.

    My life changing trauma was way less scary, though the responsibility I felt made it worse..
    One morning in Turiani, Tanzania, I see this baby with her mom in the waiting area.. Was doing research in Malaria associated anemia in infants, so I recognized the baby needed help, fast..
    Don't know and don't care who was first in line, I just took mom and her baby to the pediatric ward, took some blood from baby's finger (like watery orange wine) and told the orderly to run to the lab for tests and cross-matching urgent and take some O- blood before cross-matching..
    While the nurse was attempting to get an IV going, I was examining the baby, and had my stethoscope on the baby's chest when the heart-beat went fast, irregular and then slowed down to disappear completely..
    Mother of the child behind me, and I knew I had to turn around and tell her in her face "sorry, your baby didn't make it..
    Which I did eventually, and got the typical African response of a year of mourning squeezed in 5 minutes..
    Agonizing screams, ripping the clothes of her body, letting her urine go, her mouth foam until she ran out of energy and fell down barely conscious..

    I could not say anything at all, walked to where the motorbikes were, drove of without a guide, into the Masaii plains, where I had my final word with god, any type of god..Wasn't pretty..
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    Shit! After Rak and Bacon's stories it makes mine seem like I was taken out for an ice cream treat.
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    Very interesting thread and makes you think about how things beyond your control can shape your life. I have never really had a life plan and just go with things on how they happen.

    Have had some incredible adventures along the way living in the states and getting deported because stupidly went on a holiday to Canada. I managed to get back in by showing them my plane ticket which was for September 11 2001.stuck for another 6 weeks in a surreal tim3.

    Living in Colombia for six months spending time with FARC and hanging out in the favellas.

    Held hostage in Palestine for 6 months.

    Along the way I have owned bars, became a barrister and run a very successful business and opening up two more I. July. But none of the above has ever been my choice and realize that I could have made better or at least different choices. I am not saying I would want to.

    One hint I do know is an ad to replacement at work would be up before your obituary. But I do enjoy the adventure and reckon in 3-5 years I should be able to semi retire.

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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Notorius View Post

    Held hostage in Palestine for 6 months.
    I have seen you refer to this a few times over the years, but never seen any details. Are you able to tell the story?
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    I have seen you refer to this a few times over the years, but never seen any details. Are you able to tell the story?
    I completed a masters in international criminal law with emphasis on counter terrorist financing. My speciality was universal jurisdiction and I was seconded to a charity in palestin3 to assist them in bringing cases around the world to bring Israeli politicians to court for war crimes. My passport was seized one evening by IDF and couldn’t leave for 6 months. So it wasn’t as if I was chained to a radiator. But it was the time of rolling electricity cuts and water cuts offs for 6-8 hours at a time. It was a crazy surreal experience with a strange mix of community with the people but also feelings of isolation. It has affected me a lot. But I wouldn’t change it. If that makes sense.
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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Quote Originally Posted by Notorius View Post
    I completed a masters in international criminal law with emphasis on counter terrorist financing. My speciality was universal jurisdiction and I was seconded to a charity in palestin3 to assist them in bringing cases around the world to bring Israeli politicians to court for war crimes. My passport was seized one evening by IDF and couldn’t leave for 6 months. So it wasn’t as if I was chained to a radiator. But it was the time of rolling electricity cuts and water cuts offs for 6-8 hours at a time. It was a crazy surreal experience with a strange mix of community with the people but also feelings of isolation. It has affected me a lot. But I wouldn’t change it. If that makes sense.
    I was also regularly bullied and questioned by the IDF, nothing physical but regular raids, late night questioning, harassment. I didn’t think much of it at the time because I thought I was indestructible and was one big adventure.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bacon View Post
    Speaking of sliding doors, not sure if I've told this story before or not. Both my parents went to prison shortly after I was born and I more or less grew up without them during the first few years of my life. My grandma took care of me and we would visit my mum once a month. It was something like a 16 hour bus ride. We didn't really know where dad was for a long time.

    Once after a visit we were running late and had to rush back for the bus. But something happened and we got delayed for about 30 seconds. I fell down or something cause of my shoe lace or the shoe came off, not sure. But that delay was enough to keep me on this earth. As we were about to turn the corner to get on the bus the whole thing got shelled. I remember my whole body shaking from the wave. I managed to catch a glimpse of it. It was like a crushed can with fumes bellowing out. The smell of burning human flesh has pretty much been tattooed in my mind since. Just a very foggy memory now but the general background tension and anxiety has never left me(many other trumas contributed too). I pretty much live with it all the time.

    The butterfly effect is an exageration, but it'd be interesting to know how far little everyday actions and gestures can go. You stub your toe in the morning and get a little shitty, so you end up being a bit rude to some waiter cause of it, he stops for a drink before going home cause he had a shitty day, ends up yelling at his wife who smacks her kid who ends up bullying some other kid in school cause of it who then decides to grab his fathers gun and kill a bunch of people etc etc. It's an interesting subject.
    Thanks for sharing that story. It couldn’t have been easy and I can completely understand when you talk about a smell being ingrained in your mind.

    The butterfly affect is such an interesting subject and there are many examples of the smallest event having a profound affect on peoples lives. Things like forgetting to bring laundry and having to go back to the apartment which meant missing th3 metro and not getting to work in the world trade centre. Which meant they didn’t die.

    Or taxi not turning up which meant missing missing the Malaysian airline flight that went missing. But it would drive someone nuts by thinking about everything and how it affects the rest of your life.

    Some people call me the world luckiest or unluckiest traveller by whichever way you view the following. I was in Phuket for the tsunami, Peru for an earthquake, Manhattan for 9/11, London for 7/7, Madrid for their bombings, Paris for Charlie hebdo attacks, and London on tower bridge for the kinging terror attack. If I actually start to think about that it’s like the final destination movie where death is trying to get me. But I suppose its connected to the other thread when I said I don’t think I actually am making any life decisions and just allowing life to take me where it does.

    It makes a great story and yes it sounds like an adventure but it is kind of affecting me of how not in control I am and my mortality will eventually catch up with me.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    Can you say where your bus got bombed? .
    On the outskirts of a boardertown called Abadan. They used to transfer political priaoners to the war zone to make it hard for families to visit. Didn't stop one wee little stubborn old lady though.
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    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


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