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Thread: TG in your Country

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    TG in your Country

    Got a couple questions. As you will know Noy is currently in Australia with me on a TV, I am currently in the process of trying to work out what the next step. We have hit a few troubled spot but only one real major one... I had a good talk to Noy yesterday and she tells me she loves me and wants to spend her life with me but wants to live in Thailand, as she doesn't like it here... We had a real good talk yesterday and I made it clear if we want a good future it would have to be here and she understands that Thailand is not going to provide a good future for her and her future children. I have also told her that me moving to Thailand is not a possibility, even though I would love to live there, financially it could not happen at this point in my life.

    My questions are; Is this a similar thing everyone has gone through? Does it take a little while to turn around and start liking the Country? Is this just her being Homesick? Is this another test? Any suggestions on what I can do to help her along? I know it is a bad part of the year to be here(winter) and have explained that also.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear this Gary, I know she wont understand that it's been a harsh winter and by September it won't be that much better but i'm sure this will have some bearing on the way she feels... You just have to understand that you have totally removed her from her home, culture and friends... these things are really hard to emulate overnight... I think the best thing that happened with us was that we found a group of friends that we could both relate to, Thip could off-load her problems over a bowl of Som Tam while I could do the same over a beer...
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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    It is culture shock for TG's sometimes.....Will talk about Joy and myself a little hope will give you some ideas mate.
    When she first came i was living high on the hill up the back of the gold coast, very quiet and isolated if you can not drive or do not have a car.
    I made sure that after that i thought about location so as to not isolate her.
    Plus being on a TV no work give you plenty time to think and become bored.
    Lanuage differences were a problem and when we went to my friends she only understood some of what went on....Can feel isolating also.
    All these things can be overcome in time and in time she will feel better about here as she becomes more comfortable.

    If you are to have a future it will have to be here anything else will eventually fail i fear.
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    .

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Sorry to hear this Gary, I know she wont understand that it's been a harsh winter and by September it won't be that much better but i'm sure this will have some bearing on the way she feels... You just have to understand that you have totally removed her from her home, culture and friends... these things are really hard to emulate overnight... I think the best thing that happened with us was that we found a group of friends that we could both relate to, Thip could off-load her problems over a bowl of Som Tam while I could do the same over a beer...
    I understand this, I have been trying to make her feel at home and have always asked her if there is anything I can do. We found some Pla Rah and that was helpful. Yes I know the culture is very different and she is further away from her family then she has ever been. She has even mentioned that she might go home before the end of the 3 months as she misses her family and i guess with the situation going on back home with the family it will be playing on her mind(I will get the that soon in my TR). Not long before leaving LOS, she said to me she was not going to come back here with me, I guess towards the end she changed her mind for me and not for herself. Maybe it was not the best idea to bring her here now while she has so much on her mind??

    She has continued to reassure me she wants to be with me but it is not her thing here (yet, I hope) I was beginning to think maybe it was me but I do believe her and sound more and more family related everyday. One thing is sure, it has made things harder Visa-wise....

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    It is culture shock for TG's sometimes.....Will talk about Joy and myself a little hope will give you some ideas mate.
    When she first came i was living high on the hill up the back of the gold coast, very quiet and isolated if you can not drive or do not have a car.
    I made sure that after that i thought about location so as to not isolate her.
    Plus being on a TV no work give you plenty time to think and become bored.
    Lanuage differences were a problem and when we went to my friends she only understood some of what went on....Can feel isolating also.
    All these things can be overcome in time and in time she will feel better about here as she becomes more comfortable.

    If you are to have a future it will have to be here anything else will eventually fail i fear.
    Sound very similar as well, She hates seeing my friends as she worries about communicating with them. IMO she speaks great English and understands a lot but for a native speak we can talk very fast and makes it hard to understand. I have told her that is only a temporary thing as she will learn and pick up more as time goes on. I have also told my friends to try and slow down while talking to her.

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Can she walk to shops?
    Does she have good comms back to LOS?
    .

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    Can she walk to shops?
    She can walk to the shops but its too cold for her to do so
    Does she have good comms back to LOS?
    Brought her a Lyca Mobile Sim Card the day she arrived, Can call LOS for 19c for as long as she needs(while there special is on), She can call me for free. She has a computer with Internet access (although she cannot read or write) Reading lessons on the way very soon. The house is stocked up with all the Thai food she needs and everything she needs to cook it. It is harder to find some of the Issan Food she enjoys though. But have found a good restaurant in Springvale (about 25-30 min drive) and get there as often as we can.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    I think you have to look at it this way G4... Imagine being in a house in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to do and no one to really talk to.... There is absolutely nothing on offer for her to independently on her own.... she would even struggle to watch the TV...
    Thip was in the same boat, and TBH she is not a big fan of being a tourist here anymore...
    The important things we have done to keep her from going stir crazy are.. Set her Mum up with a PC so Skype communication could be made daily for as long as she liked.... Access to a huge DVD library so she can watch her Thai soapies and Thailands Got Talent... And as bad as it sounds lots of PS2 games and FB games.... And at least once a week we would catch up with our Thai friends so she could off load any **** she had on her mind, and this one is important as she would ask lots of questions about dealing with living in Oz....
    One night Fone was getting a bit aggitated with Thip, and basically Fone told Thip that she had to understand what a good thing was and that she needed to harden up!! It was amazing the transformation it made in Thips attitude...
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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    yeah i know and I know if I was in her situation in Thailand I would be the same. She has worked out how to navigate her way around the internet now and watches her Thai Soapies on that. I have tried to help her with making some Thai friends and continue to take her to Springvale to try and meet some more people. I do not want her to intrude on your friends as they are your friends and would not hurt for Noy to make some new one anyway. One thing that is stopping that though is that someone gave her the idea that all TG's once they come to here to live are not nice people, so she is scared to talk to anyone. I almost forced her to talk to these 2 Thai ladies her in the end turned around and said they were trying to forget about Thailand so do not want anything to do with her.... That did not help my case and made her believe all TG's here are like that.

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Got to remember she would have had a cruisey life over in LOS in some ways........
    Joy said maybe she too young to understand.......Planning for the future for some girls is not a strong point....
    .

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Mate came across this as well. Dao was a little more outgoing perhaps but missed home desperately. Dao found solace at the local temple in Brisbane. She could talk to the monks. They had a vibrate social life as well that she soon became part of. Many of girls there had been through what she was going through.

    Dao could not drive but the ladies would come and pick her up and take her out. Dao wanted me to go and live in Thailand as well. But for me living in the village does my head in after about a month and I feel at home there.

    People do talk to fast and every time they did I would come back with Gibba talk to them. They soon got the message. Do not forget she probably has a bigger fear off you being embarrassed because she does not understand.

    You will get there.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    Got to remember she would have had a cruisey life over in LOS in some ways........
    Joy said maybe she too young to understand.......Planning for the future for some girls is not a strong point....
    Dao agreed she think for the feeling for just now.

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Take me to Melbourne from Thailand for this winter, I'd have put a knife in your heart by now............ I admire her restraint.

    Bored, broke and fearing problems at home - and all the while freezing her little TG "gon" off.......... if she is not sulking three times a day then again I admire her self-control.

    Having met her in person....I thought she was a really nice kid......but still a kid......(and yeah, I have seen her behave like one)....

    I didn't grow up over night and neither will she....if you can find a way to change that....market it and you will make millions!!!

    None of what you say comes as a surprise .....but don't read too much into it......a few bumps are hardly the end of the world.....

    Having read all we have written here about our own relationships.......did you REALLY think yours would be the one and only clear sailing one???.....

    Ask any guy here with a long term Thai partner two questions and you will get a firm YES answer to both.....were there some rough patches? and was she worth it?

    Enjoy.
    PatongBeachBoy and Gazmac like this.
    Life is the unexpected ...

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Arliss Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontymate View Post
    Mate came across this as well. Dao was a little more outgoing perhaps but missed home desperately. Dao found solace at the local temple in Brisbane. She could talk to the monks. They had a vibrate social life as well that she soon became part of. Many of girls there had been through what she was going through.

    Dao could not drive but the ladies would come and pick her up and take her out. Dao wanted me to go and live in Thailand as well. But for me living in the village does my head in after about a month and I feel at home there.

    People do talk to fast and every time they did I would come back with Gibba talk to them. They soon got the message. Do not forget she probably has a bigger fear off you being embarrassed because she does not understand.

    You will get there.
    Sorry to hear G4 things are not all smooth, but a big step for a TG or anyone to move to another country so different than theres. I have these worry doubts about TG coming, will she handle winter ?, will she be bored, as I will be working ?, how much will she miss her family ? etc etc. Just got to keep working on it, and encourage to see out the three months, or you will not know if there is a future.

    Amd Jonty explain "gibba talk" 555
    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Short for Jibberish
    you're speaking gibba mate. Also know in some parts as aboriginal speak.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Arliss Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontymate View Post
    Short for Jibberish
    you're speaking gibba mate. Also know in some parts as aboriginal speak.
    Thanks Jonty I think i will need to do that, my Sister and her man talk like machine and gattling guns, he is from Middlesborough and I have trouble picking up what he says sometimes, he talks that fast.
    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

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    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Gazmac's Avatar
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    G4 , Tane was very reluctant to meet my friends as well ! Then i gave her no choice when i said we going to meet some people in know and Lady is Thai ! She really didnt want to go , but then she met her and they just clicked straight away , and was introduced to another Thai lady same day as a friend of the one id taken her to meet !
    Thinking about it , im not sure if they clicked or it was just Mrs M's charms ! Either way it was smooth sailing after that as we ended up at their place or the Neighbours almost every weekend !
    Tane could have easily gone down a similar track to Noy . But i gave her no choice and made her come with me when i went to work for the first 2 weeks ! Im a sales rep , and made her come into all my shops and she had no choice in speaking english ( which she wasnt good at at all ) To be honest , she said very little as she was scared of say the wrong words ! Dont blame her for that , id be the same with my Thai up in the village . However , it did increase her knowledge of English . After that she quite often sat at home watching TV . was up to her as to whether she came with me or not . She quite often chose to sleep ( gee what a surprise ) and watch tv . However she watched Aussie Tv not the Thai stuff that i had setup for on the computer ! In fact she only watched it twice . Towards the end , she was laughing at the jokes at the right times and even laughing at jokes from a Scottish American tv compare ! Her English was improving out of sight .
    She had a Lebara phone to ring home anytime she wanted and used it to the max .
    She also had a nephew killed in a motorbike accident whilst she was here and really wanted to go home for the funeral , but decided to stay and just made many phone calls for a few days to all the family .
    But if it was not for meeting a few Thai ladies and being made welcome into their little circle , her trip here would have been a very different outcome ! She made some wonderful and close friends here , for which i could never thank Mrs M and Minder enough for !

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontymate View Post
    Mate came across this as well. Dao was a little more outgoing perhaps but missed home desperately. Dao found solace at the local temple in Brisbane. She could talk to the monks. They had a vibrate social life as well that she soon became part of. Many of girls there had been through what she was going through.
    That is something I am yet to do, Take her to the local temple. She is a very religious girl and I am sure she would really enjoy that.

    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post
    Take me to Melbourne from Thailand for this winter, I'd have put a knife in your heart by now............ I admire her restraint.

    Bored, broke and fearing problems at home - and all the while freezing her little TG "gon" off.......... if she is not sulking three times a day then again I admire her self-control.

    Having met her in person....I thought she was a really nice kid......but still a kid......(and yeah, I have seen her behave like one)....

    I didn't grow up over night and neither will she....if you can find a way to change that....market it and you will make millions!!!

    None of what you say comes as a surprise .....but don't read too much into it......a few bumps are hardly the end of the world.....

    Having read all we have written here about our own relationships.......did you REALLY think yours would be the one and only clear sailing one???.....

    Ask any guy here with a long term Thai partner two questions and you will get a firm YES answer to both.....were there some rough patches? and was she worth it?

    Enjoy.
    You did not see her after you left 555. She is still very young and it does show at times and i totally understand how some people say that they are similar to a 13 year old... I do remeber reading a lot of relationship stories and all of which had there own issues and I was expecting to have issues as well. Nothing is ever easy. I had just not heard too much about a TG not liking "Farangland" (other the Giggsys blog) I had heard so much that TG loved it and didn't want to go home. It was a big scare to me when she came to me and told me this, but now i do see it as just a bump in the road and things most likey will get better from here. I just have to be myself and support her as much as I can. A Melbourne Winter is hell for an Aussie so for a TG it must be like the end of the world. I have to get her to meet some more Thai people as soon as I can, I think as PPB and others have said, lets them let it all out and I think a TG that has lived here for a while will be good for her as she can tell her what to expect and share stories of when she first arrived and how she handled it.

    AM Take note, your next 555

  19. #19
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Gary If your not working this weekend I'll try organise something.... you'll like my mate he's just like you, another bloody blue bagger who had his brain removed at birth 555

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Gary If your not working this weekend I'll try organise something.... you'll like my mate he's just like you, another bloody blue bagger who had his brain removed at birth 555
    Thanks for that, I actually have the Friday, Sat and Sun off. But not available Saturday during the day as i will be at the footy and then sunday during the day my cousin is launching his Bands Album so I have to go and show support. They are going to be big one day.

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