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Thread: Public Displays of Affection PDA's

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Public Displays of Affection PDA's

    Have been discussing this on other threads. found that although I had been given advance notice and thought I was doing OK it nearly did me in on my trip to meet the in laws.

    I will run it up the flag and am asking for contibutions from senior members as I still consider myself a newbie or as I call myself when learning the ropes in Isaan Nong Spot.

    I will now try to cut and paste from other threads to get this one rolling. But again would like assistance from senior members who have survived what for me was a tough trial by ordeal. As it was in stark contrast to my previous experience.

    I have noted the great degrees of different experiences from TD members and also trouble makers at home.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    I lifted this post from TG sulking. It was in response to posts about relationships where TG were sulking. So will post it as a helper to start this thread. I will lift another post and add it.

    OK Cut and....

    Ok since losing my last post I will try to start again however Vanguys story has me thinking about starting my own book as my Thai story is so different. But that will take time so I will cut to the chase on the Thai sulking thread.

    I have often posted about last October's 24 days in Paradise – Isaan and my glowing reports of a miracle everyday, total love and acceptance by family and villagers. In the lost post I amended it to 21.5 days in paradise and 2.5 days in hell.

    It was nice being the only English speaker and farang for a hundred miles until.....

    Some where near the middle of the visit, S shut me down, wouldn't talk to me, look at me or acknowledge me, Day one thinking PMT, Day two absolutely miserable as she was my only communicator. Everyone else being normal but S treats me like I have just murdered her favourite dog. I ask what's wrong and she says talk Khun K (Australian Thai) – my phone doesn't work in the remote village so no help there...

    New daughter M still caring and loving, family still caring and loving but what the hell have I done!!!!! I still to this day do not know!

    Anyway Morning day three I get up from virtually no sleep and make my own coffee and sit smoking and waiting for the sun to appear over the rice fields trying to figure how I could get to the airport and go home as I was feeling extremely unwelcome by the most important love of my life and would not be able to survive this treatment.

    S comes out and say What Wrong?

    That was the straw, broke down in tears, all my built up waiting to come back, learning the no touch culture, being chaperoned the ENTIRE TIME, then being shut down. How the hell was I going to put all this into words that she might understand.

    I say; I love you, you say you love me, Why no XOX? why not touch? why no sx? She holds my hand and hugs me and says talk Khun K as though I am a child who has stuffed up...... Still no explanation....

    This is a chapter in my book so will break it down quite a bit....

    Ok get Khun K on S Phone, I tell K what I felt and explained that I don't need much just a hug and a kiss every now and then so S not lose face in front of family, but the shutdown has fkd me over big time. Go give phone to S who is sitting around the corner with her back to me. K and S talk for 20 minutes, I get 2 coffees and twenty cigarettes in. K says I not get involved.... End of phone.

    S takes me by the hand and we walk back to Yais house, touches me discreetly publicly openly inside car and in front of M. Re assures me everything Ok and goes back to being in love with me. Takes me awhile but I begin to relax and go back to paradise. S even apologises at the airport when sending me home and apologises on the phone, but still no explanation.

    I recall picking up her newly bought Chinese astrology chart book which I couldn't read and placed open face down on the bed. I recall that after the phone call to K She dissapeared and then came back happy. It turned out she went to the gypsy fortune teller and she cleared us....

    A good mate with a Thai wife said not to worry she probably had a bad dream and was punishing me for what I did in that dream. It still bugs me as everything else was so beautiful...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    At last s talks to me about it today and is no longer angry - "Khun M Make me so angry, I am a good Lady, you not show respect for family" at least she is finaly telling me and we can now laugh about it... Struth i wish this had happened sooner and the lock down had been explained on the spot...

    This one from 21 Decmber and I then went on to ask if 3 months was tyhe standard period for keeping me in the dark....

  4. #4
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    On my first trip to Isaan I had this experience... behind closed doors it was on for young and old but not out in the public arena, I found it a bit frustrating but respected the cultural difference. The thing that I felt was the strangest was the fact that we would openly walk to the bathroom together twice a day but simple pleasure of a kiss or holding hands was taboo... After a few days we crossed the border to Laos and it was as if a switch had been turned on, we walked arm in arm and even posed for photo's kissing each other... I had to question what the change was and she explained it was that we were in Laos and it ok here... And once we crossed back over the border it was back to normal...
    On the planning of my next trip I was trying to steer away from going to Isaan just due to the fact that I couldn't express my affection the way I wanted to, I told Thip the reason I wasn't keen but she was persistent... We met in BKK to do the visa application and we spoke about it some more, she suggested that we buy wedding rings to show the village that it was official... The level of PDA was better but still quite reserved in comparison to when we are alone or in Australia...
    When I think about it, besides the tourist spots where Thai/Falang couples are common sights I have not really seen PDA outside these areas... I have even traveled with a Thai couple for a week who have been married for over 5 years and they really didn't even come close to each other, even photos together they wouldn't even touch!
    Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    This has differing rules for girls from differing parts of the social strata as it does in the west.
    General rule is that public affection is frond upon. But take a ride on the BTS and you will see young Thaiís holding hands and even Kissing. Times they are a changing.

    A lot of people worry about what to do or what not to do. More so she was all over me last night but will not even look me straight in the eyes the next day.

    In public, at temples and in front of family I applied the ďMy Daughter Rule!Ē Would I feel comfortable if a guy was displaying affection to my daughter when she was 15-16 years old in that manner?
    Just let her guide you or seek out her friend for guidance if you think she is just not that in to you. I have acquaintances that have married up the social chain and have been dating for 4 months before a kiss.

    This is hard if you flit form the BG scene to mainstream society. Especially if you take her out of it to the family in most instances.

    Hom Sounds more like Hawm, the Thai friendly "sniff" kiss. Or Hom Kean = on the check more personal. Is a friendly sign of affection. You will often see a mother or grandmother with an infant doing this especially after a bath. Good smell. Have you ever heard your TG say this?
    My MIL will give me a sniff on the shoulder often if I am good. Threaten me with the dogís stick if I am bad. FIL has as well when we were married and after that it never really was an issue. I would give respectable hug or kiss or sniff to all. I may have been wrong but never corrected anyhow.

    Married for a few years and I donít give it a thought. My thoughts are about hunting, fishing and having a beer with the Lads in the village like any normal bloke. Who wants to sit around the Women making a bunch of Lady Talk.



    Just my evaluation others may differ.
    "Man cannot discover New Oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore" 
      
       
       
         
       
      
     

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    Newby Stef's Avatar
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    I am so interested in hearing all of your thoughts on the PDA issue. I guess I can handle no touching while in LOS but I think it will be tough. Without being too probing,... how are your TG with you in private? Do they like the physical touching? I am really new to all of this so this is why I ask.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stef View Post
    I am so interested in hearing all of your thoughts on the PDA issue. I guess I can handle no touching while in LOS but I think it will be tough. Without being too probing,... how are your TG with you in private? Do they like the physical touching? I am really new to all of this so this is why I ask.
    Here's a lesson for you Stef.... you cant generalise a TG!. Just because they come from Thailand doesn't mean they come out of the same box

    It takes all kind to make up this world
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Don't let me put you off Steff just be yourself, show her you have a "Good Heart" take family photos with you.

    I have a photo of myself and S taken at a temple on our first date, I now understand why S was not smiling, here's Dumbass blissfully happy and ignorant with a big grin and his arm around her. Now i look at it and think you bloody idiot!, it is usually spelled out plainly in English what acceptable behaviour is in the temple, I had read the sign many times and just forgot.

    My reaction to the no PDA rule after a couple of weeks of being good, was totally selfish. In my defence it was hard to be politely following the rules especially as i knew my days in Isaan were coming to an end, yes even chaperoned to the departure lounge and gate in Udon Thani.

    But S is still passing on messages of love from her Grandma (at Last count I think I now have 6 new Grandmas) Uncles and Aunties and other rice villagers that ask after me.... When Khun M come back? When you marry Khun M? Khun M come back for rice harvest with family? How good does that make me feel??????
    Last edited by Spot; 27th December 2011 at 09:11.

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stef View Post
    I am so interested in hearing all of your thoughts on the PDA issue. I guess I can handle no touching while in LOS but I think it will be tough. Without being too probing,... how are your TG with you in private? Do they like the physical touching? I am really new to all of this so this is why I ask.
    Without being too revealing in the answer - I have been a member of various Thai forums for over a decade, have visited Thailand numerous times and have met countless guys with Thai or other asian partners and I am still to hear a single complaint on that score ....

    As for why it is different in the bar areas, well, touching of the customer inside the bar is acceptable simply because it is her job to do that - and other Thais accept that.

    Don't be surprised if the apparent nympho from the bar turns into a nun for the taxi ride back to your hotel. Just accept that they take it seriously and play along. Don't upset her in public and she will pay you back in private.

    Enjoy.
    Life is the unexpected ...

  10. #10
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spot View Post
    Have been discussing this on other threads. found that although I had been given advance notice and thought I was doing OK it nearly did me in on my trip to meet the in laws.
    I think any girl in the world tends to be reserved in front of her parents. Not sure what I would think of a woman who was all over me in front of her mum and dad - kinda creepy really.

    IMHO PDA's are still almost non-existant in Thailand (outside of the bar areas of course) - though things are slowly changing.

    Holding hands when walking together and a peck on the cheek when parting is all that happens in public with Mrs M and I and thats after more than six years here in farangland.

    enjoy.
    Quarky likes this.
    Life is the unexpected ...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post
    I think any girl in the world tends to be reserved in front of her parents. Not sure what I would think of a woman who was all over me in front of her mum and dad - kinda creepy really.

    .
    Agree fully with this. I have had Aust. NZ, English, Italian, Check, Sweedish and Polish girlfriends, and now Thai. Everyone has been a different person when with their parent's and family, or in location with other country counterparts.

    At the end of the day/night, if they think you have been respectible to them and their's, then the repayment is..... massive 5555
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    the floor boards may creak at night but its sawow (shutup) the next day in most Issaan Baans
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Thanks team, I needed to hear it as well... Another reason for this forum. Not pissing in pockets, but thanks and keep it coming... Nong Spot

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    I have only been to Issan once and I found best to just do what the TG said. I was told prior to going that I could nto kiss, touch, hug Noy in front of other people. We were allowed to sleep in the same bed and even got a little hot and heavy at the family house ( I said no, in respect, but could not stop the TG 555) On the second day the family were pushing me and Noy together and almost forcing us to kiss. I have photos of us being pushed together by some of the women and then everyone would cheer. I guess it is different with every family and more and more people are becoming more Westernised. I even got a hug from the MIL.

    One this that was a total No No was PDA infront of the Elders of the Village. Eg. Grandmother, Grandfather, Village Chief

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Yep G4,

    S older than Noy and as her parents are deceased we were staying with her Yai Grandmother. She is the one with her arm around me in this shot.... with 4 of my at last count 6 grandmothers.. I posted elsewhere that after the shut down i declared to Family that "In Australia I Khun Mark, In Isaan I Nong Mark, I learning, family must teach me, I think that the family may have told S to give me a break. As just afterwards she went back to loving me..

    Ohhhh, Pigsy! You call yourself a demon? จูบก้นของฉัน Everything I post here is IMHO and IME... I am no expert....

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    I'm might meet Thip at the airport in a week or so with just a sniff kiss! 555
    Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.

  17. #17
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Arliss Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    I'm might meet Thip at the airport in a week or so with just a sniff kiss! 555
    I want someone to be there to "witness that"
    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    My prediction is we will not be hearing about this Sniff Kiss for a while after Thip arrives home.... :P
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    My prediction is we will not be hearing about this Sniff Kiss for a while after Thip arrives home.... :P
    I agree,
    But I reckon, she will be sniffing all over the house as well, looking for any little sign of a farang girl. 5555

    Don't forget to clean out the shower and bath waste pipe's. One little long hair there and your toast 5555
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

  20. #20
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justcruzing1 View Post
    I agree,
    But I reckon, she will be sniffing all over the house as well, looking for any little sign of a farang girl. 5555

    Don't forget to clean out the shower and bath waste pipe's. One little long hair there and your toast 5555
    55555 My daughters hair is halfway down her back so I'm safe there
    Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.

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