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Thread: Bar Girl can it work?

  1. #61
    fratech68
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    If any members are in Pattaya the next 8 weeks be keen to have a Leo & share some stories

  2. #62
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Arliss Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fratech68 View Post
    I can tell it can work iv e been happily married for 2 yrs & yes we didn't actually meet at bar but she had wkd bar previously & she lives here with me now & she works full time she has little contact with los & we share passwords fb hotmail & she never hides her phone from me. Its been hard work but i have a beautiful 21 yr old wife which does everything for me & now realises money dosent grow on trees . Ive spent several yrs in total in los so i know all the tricks however my wife is happy to reside in Australia now & to have a new normal life...Anyone thinking going there well it takes a lot of patience & you must get them before they can not be turned .They need hobbies & interests ig: She nows body-builds with me & i have her a job in a child care centre . I was very lucky i got the marry visa before they changed from 3 months to 1 yr, had it been now im not sure if we could of waited the 1 yr. The 3 months we waited i spent 2 months there in the los & the 1 month after i bought her laptop & installed Skype so i could see her at home with her family everyday. We are currently here in Pattaya now & we spend every minute together & all her old friends have moved on or burnt out. . I know there is other successful storeys out there but some of you are to ashamed to admit that you have a bar girl . But i don't have a problem talking about this on here but to my friends at home i say we met at a restaurant and she served drinks there some of my friends believe some not i don't care as im not the 1 that is married to a 80kg Aussie which dictates & rools the roost . All i can say is good luck & i hope to read some more interesting posts fratech68
    Thanks for sharing F68, and sounds like your on a great adventure forward. Will be in LOS in your time but not near Pattaya. Not so sure ashamed is the right word, maybe those in that position just don't deem it necessary to share that information if it is the case, some may some may not, upto the individual, but happy to hear success stories like yours.
    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

  3. #63
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fratech68 View Post
    I can tell it can work iv e been happily married for 2 yrs & yes we didn't actually meet at bar but she had wkd bar previously & she lives here with me now & she works full time she has little contact with los & we share passwords fb hotmail & she never hides her phone from me. Its been hard work but i have a beautiful 21 yr old wife which does everything for me & now realises money dosent grow on trees . Ive spent several yrs in total in los so i know all the tricks however my wife is happy to reside in Australia now & to have a new normal life...Anyone thinking going there well it takes a lot of patience & you must get them before they can not be turned .They need hobbies & interests ig: She nows body-builds with me & i have her a job in a child care centre . I was very lucky i got the marry visa before they changed from 3 months to 1 yr, had it been now im not sure if we could of waited the 1 yr. The 3 months we waited i spent 2 months there in the los & the 1 month after i bought her laptop & installed Skype so i could see her at home with her family everyday. We are currently here in Pattaya now & we spend every minute together & all her old friends have moved on or burnt out. . I know there is other successful storeys out there but some of you are to ashamed to admit that you have a bar girl . But i don't have a problem talking about this on here but to my friends at home i say we met at a restaurant and she served drinks there some of my friends believe some not i don't care as im not the 1 that is married to a 80kg Aussie which dictates & rools the roost . All i can say is good luck & i hope to read some more interesting posts fratech68
    Welcome back mate, got your PM, unfortunately I have no hope of getting there.

    Guys, I met him and his lovely wife, sexy Mack mack!! I know you don't mind fratech68 , in a bar on soi LK Metro, I showed him our forum and he joined, i came home, they went back to Sydney and I guess got very busy, he is full of life and everything is about the moment, so nice to see you posting again.

    Cheers,
    Mate
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  4. #64
    Platinum Pinot's Avatar
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    My own experience is after the tumultuous end of my previous year long relationship, with a former BG, I swore to myself, never again. I'll pass this along from Stickman's column:

    "All guys involved with an ex-bargirl will say she is different. When he says that, what he really means is that she has an effect on him. The truth is she is not different. She, like most of her bargirl sisters is most likely a woman of no accomplishments, a modest education, little to no ambition and is simply making the most of a bad situation by offering her body for a price to a man in need of it.
    I still maintain that getting involved with these girls for long-term relationships is a bad idea. Prostitutes are the one type of woman where both parties know the rules from the start. Don't try and change the rules!"

  5. #65
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Just to add to what F68 has said above and the waiting period for the visa. I am not trying to tar all BG's with the same brush here but a 12 months wait for the visa (while separated) I could see why an ex-BG could venture back to the bar. The Visa process does make things very hard. I guess what scares a lot of people when it comes to a BG is that they don't know what she is doing while you are apart. 12 months is very different (plenty of time to get bored or loose hope) compared to 3 months. I also feel that it is very important to get the Girl out of the bar before the Bar gets into the girl.

  6. #66
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Wise words G4.
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

  7. #67
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    Just to add to what F68 has said above and the waiting period for the visa. I am not trying to tar all BG's with the same brush here but a 12 months wait for the visa (while separated) I could see why an ex-BG could venture back to the bar. The Visa process does make things very hard. I guess what scares a lot of people when it comes to a BG is that they don't know what she is doing while you are apart. 12 months is very different (plenty of time to get bored or loose hope) compared to 3 months. I also feel that it is very important to get the Girl out of the bar before the Bar gets into the girl.
    I'll just add to that G4.... It's more realistic to say that it's a 2 year process by the time you chuck in a couple of 3 month holidays... And it might be a bit presumptuous of me, but I'm guessing the average punter who hooks up with a bar girl is going to be a bit of newbie when it comes to all things Thai... And to have any chance of getting a BG out of the bar and I mean really out of the bar is to make it financially viable for her... And this is a very difficult concept for someone who's not up with the way of things especially as this might require full financial support for 2 years!
    Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.

  8. #68
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    I'll just add to that G4.... It's more realistic to say that it's a 2 year process by the time you chuck in a couple of 3 month holidays... And it might be a bit presumptuous of me, but I'm guessing the average punter who hooks up with a bar girl is going to be a bit of newbie when it comes to all things Thai... And to have any chance of getting a BG out of the bar and I mean really out of the bar is to make it financially viable for her... And this is a very difficult concept for someone who's not up with the way of things especially as this might require full financial support for 2 years!
    A point of instant contention for many I would think and an in your face major difference in the way the 2 cultures see love!
    IE love equals support.
    Hurdle no.1

    If I had gone down this track and had met a girl and she wanted money from me and I hardly knew her i would have run a mile.
    You can see where the term, they are money grabbing comes from but it is not necessarily the case.
    .

  9. #69
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Amazing reading this, looking back how you all still did it and yet you felt no pain?
    Have a look in "Define love" thread to see how people do stuff that goes against all your self preservation instincts.
    That old TG magic...nothing else like it anywhere...5555
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

  10. #70
    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Gazmac's Avatar
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    I met my now wife in a bar in Patong . Tiger Bar to be exact . On my 3rd trip back to see her and we knew we were very serious about eachother , she told me that she wanted to get a job in the supermarket (Carrefoure) . Can you give me "x" amount each month (it wasnt a lot she was asking for either ) ? I f you can do this i will get a job and make same same as working in the bar each month . So i agreed and she looked at me and said good because i have already resigned from the bar ! 2 weeks after i returned home she rang me to say she had a job in the supermarket working 10 hour days .
    So basically if they want out of the bars and you are the right person for them , they will be out of the bars in a flash and never look back !

  11. #71
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    I think there are many degrees of BG's, and depending on the level and age as to if you will or will not be sucessfull.
    1st there is the young gogo girl, bought down from the rice fields because she has the looks, boady and is taught how to dance, strip etc. Chance's are she was having sex at 13-15 so it's not a big deal to get naked and put out. It is a party in the GoGo and they try to outdo eachother.

    These farm fresh, will be loved by young guys and sponsored, may go back home and wait, but after being in the limelight then coming home to nothing, they get itchy. Maybe sponsor stops sending money, or family want more. They head back and now become BG's they are not as young or farm fresh as before.

    BG's are my preference, not silly heads, know what they want and need to do to get it. Mostly it is to support kids and family. My last one Bum (said as boom) was a mother of 4 and all were in private schools she wanted the best for them and was prepaired to do anything to ensure they did.

    I realy respected her for her devotion to them, her ability to create a fantastic girlfriend experience and if I had the money, I would have moved there and lived with her.
    She talked openly to me about her life, and what she had done. She was not young, 37 when she hit Patt's. Had lots of debt had a business gone bad.
    She told me about her first customer, a Sweed who was nice to her, only took her for the one night but she saw that as a good sign, he was nice.

    Then there are those that are battle worn, know every trick and probably have been burnt many times. So they go for what ever they can get.
    I don't blame them, if I was in their shoes I would be angery at the world as well.

    I guess it is a matter of timing and luck, if the 2 are right then it will happen, remember BG's are still human.
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  12. #72
    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Gazmac's Avatar
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    Have to agree with what you said there JC ! My wife was 36 when i met her and had been in the bars for about 12 - 18 months when i met her . Older ones are more likely to be ready to leave the industry given the chance ! But unfortunately a lot never make it out , and as you said they get burnt one way or another and become hardened .
    I should also say that i had not asked her to leave either ! She WANTED out ! She had thought about it and planned what she wanted and went ahead and resigned from the bar before discussing it with me . If she was that determined , how could i knock her back ? She was the lady for me anyway and i would have asked her in time but she didnt give me the chance .
    As a side note , she is back up in the village in Phetchabun taking care of her invalid Grandmother while we are waiting on the Partener visa . She has been out of the bars now for nearly 2 years and will only go to a bar if i or a friend is with her ! Wont go to see her old friends unless its a special ocassion and she is going with people she knows .
    The look on her face when we go into Tiger or similar is one of thank Buddha i got out of this ! Its written all over her face !
    Last edited by Gazmac; 7th June 2012 at 09:33.
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  13. #73
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Arliss Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justcruzing1 View Post

    farm fresh,

    .
    Nothing against you JC, as this terminoligy is used everywhere, but I absolutley hate it !!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gazmac View Post
    Have to agree with what you said there JC ! My wife was 36 when i met her and had been in the bars for about 12 - 18 months when i met her . Older ones are more likely to be ready to leave the industry given the chance ! But unfortunately a lot never make it out , and as you said they get burnt one way or another and become hardened .
    I should also say that i had not asked her to leave either ! She WANTED out ! She had thought about it and planned what she wanted and went ahead and resigned from the bar before discussing it with me . If she was that determined , how could i knock her back ? She was the lady for me anyway and i would have asked her in time but she didnt give me the chance .
    As a side note , she is back up in the village in Phetchabun taking care of her invalid Grandmother while we are waiting on the Partener visa . She has been out of the bars now for nearly 2 years and will only go to a bar if i or a friend is with her ! Wont go to see her old friends unless its a special ocassion and she is going with people she knows .
    The look on her face when we go into Tiger or similar is one of thank Buddha i got out of this ! Its written all over her face !
    Thanks for sharing Gaz, interesting to read other BM's perspectives.
    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

  14. #74
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post
    Amazing reading this, looking back how you all still did it and yet you felt no pain?
    Have a look in "Define love" thread to see how people do stuff that goes against all your self preservation instincts.
    That old TG magic...nothing else like it anywhere...5555
    Interesting when I think about where your TG comes from......Does it matter I feel it probably does not matter where you met your TG, each TG will have her own set of rules on how she sees life you will need to learn.

    They have a diff culture and have been raised in different circumstance so there are no clear paths to follow.
    Each of us will have to find our own way and use our own judgement.

    Things will blind side you that you never damned of....I see you all nodding your heads.

    I would ask this..Does your job define you?

    Do you get upset when people generalize about you?

    BGs some are bad some are good and plenty in between.

    Are your chances of success with a BG any better or worse than any other TG....Only you and time will tell.

    Maybe knowing she has been a BG is an honest starting point?
    .

  15. #75
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Your right Wabbs..... Put 100 BG's in a line, find them a falang BF to settle down with.... what have you got??

    100 different outcomes!!
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  16. #76
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Your right Wabbs..... Put 100 BG's in a line, find them a falang BF to settle down with.... what have you got??

    100 different outcomes!!
    Anyone care to guess what the percentages are of successful outcomes? For this I must define successful.

    A relationship that is still mostly beneficial (to both) and mostly happy for a period of more then 10 years.
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  17. #77
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontymate View Post
    Anyone care to guess what the percentages are of successful outcomes? For this I must define successful.

    A relationship that is still mostly beneficial (to both) and mostly happy for a period of more then 10 years.
    Less than 60%
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  18. #78
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Less than 60%
    Though probably still more successful than most farang-farang relationships...
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


  19. #79
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Less than 60%
    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    Though probably still more successful than most farang-farang relationships...
    Really...? Care to share?
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

  20. #80
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Less than 60%
    Optimistic PBB I think less.
    Now i say this but i think i will qualify my remark.
    I think that in the short term say 5 years the failure rate would be quite high maybe more in line with the Oz divorce rate maybe, Conservatively speaking.
    Conversely over 5 years I think the success rate for those remaining would go way up.

    Reason I am thinking this is the cultural things will just about be all taken care of, the bond will have really grown and it will in the most part still feel like your on honeymoon.
    Last edited by wabbits; 7th June 2012 at 19:05.
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