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Thread: Top Secret Sly money.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Top Secret Sly money.

    Is it just my Thai family or is it the norm. Checking Dao's bank statements.

    MIL controls all the family's money(Uncles aunties grandma poppa brother) all goes to her and she dishes it out and does it well. She is tight

    Sly money top secret money. Goes to Dao's brother who gives to Poppa on the odd occasion. Poppa gets drunk and MIL finds the money in his pockets (that she has not dished out) and the investigations starts and problems.

    Another one..... One of Dao's friends P'Gen in Aussie transfers money to Dao's account which then goes to MIL to give to P'Gens poppa because if she transfers direct to her(P'Gen) brothers poppa will not get because they steal it. (P'Gens Poppa is illiterate and does not have a bank account)

    Grandma gets 1K a month Top secret (promises Dao it will not go on the lotto) that MIL cannot control.

    I send separately 5 K to her brother(every 6 months or so Birthday / New year) top secret to go out with girls and have a good time

    It is wicked web of deception from my view or just the Thai way as the Mrs describes it.
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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Sounds perfectly normal to me - by normal I mean normal by TG standards - and by any other standards enough to have Machiavelli crying "foul" and calling for a Senate Inquiry ...

    The Bank of Mrs M has similar processes as you for the transfer and payment of cash to relatives. Everything is black and white - the payments that are visible to everyone I term white and the payments visible only to the receiver I call black. We now hold six monthly "Covert trading" seminars for other bankers which are proving popular with those more straightforward and open traders, such as the Swiss.

    We also act as a local hold and/or transfer station for parcels and letters - such as e-bay purchases and bank statements - that cannot be delivered to the TG's farangland address where the farang husband might see it.

    Conversely we seldom travel to LOS without two or three envelopes from local TG friends of Mrs M, these contain cash to be delivered by hand or deposited in an obscure bank account - again this is to avoid detection by interested parties (aka family members) who would heavily tax or retain such payments were these international funds detected.

    Most of Mrs M's friends think she is crazy for not having a secret account, and most of mine would not believe I don't need one.

    Enjoy...
    Last edited by Minder; 1st June 2012 at 13:13.
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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post
    Sounds perfectly normal to me - by normal I mean normal by TG standards - and by any other standards enough to have Machiavelli crying "foul" and calling for a Senate Inquiry ...

    The Bank of Mrs M has similar processes as you for the transfer and payment of cash to relatives. Everything is black and white - the payments that are visible to everyone I term white and the payments visible only to the receiver I call black. We now hold six monthly "Covert trading" seminars for other bankers which are proving popular with those more straightforward and open traders, such as the Swiss.

    We also act as a local hold and/or transfer station for parcels and letters - such as e-bay purchases and bank statements - that cannot be delivered to the TG's farangland address where the farang husband might see it.

    Conversely we seldom travel to LOS without two or three envelopes from local TG friends of Mrs M, these contain cash to be delivered by hand or deposited in an obscure bank account - again this is to avoid detection by interested parties (aka family members) who would heavily tax or retain such payments were these international funds detected.

    Most of Mrs M's friends think she is crazy for not having a secret account, and most of mine would not believe I don't need one.

    Enjoy...
    Thanks for the confirmation I am not alone. We have an open book policy. Dao looks after all the household finances and what goes back to LOS. Strange may it seem I trust my wife. The checks and balances are in place though.

    Just very strange the complexity...... that is best managed by Dao yeah?
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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post
    Most of Mrs M's friends think she is crazy for not having a secret account, and most of mine would not believe I don't need one.
    All that says is her friends are privy to Mrs M's secret account and your not!! She's one smart cookie 555
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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    All the clandestine stuff seems to be norm. As with all other James Bond stuff, its on a "Need to know" basis, or rather a "Someone else not need to know" basis...555
    Thai Culture is built very much on a "What you dont know cant hurt you" foundation. That way all the wheels keep turning and the ducks keep swimming and everybody keeps smiling. You just dont see what drives it all looking only on the surface.
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    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Just a quick question on finances

    We run separate bank accounts. What is hers is hers. Pays for the household and money going back to LOS.
    She pays the food, house and contents insurance, etc.

    Work pays for her and my cars, our phones, internet, most travel and everything else I can put through (I notice she is filling up my daughters car ...Honey your car is diesel and daughters car in ULP) More sly money.

    Me..I pay for the health insurance and the big ticket items(Kids)

    Do you run separate or joint accounts?
    "Man cannot discover New Oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore" 
      
       
       
         
       
      
     

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontymate View Post
    Just a quick question on finances

    We run separate bank accounts. What is hers is hers. Pays for the household and money going back to LOS.
    Same
    She pays the food, house and contents insurance, etc.
    Same
    Work pays for her and my cars, our phones, internet, most travel and everything else I can put through.
    Same
    Me..I pay for the health insurance and the big ticket items(Kids)
    Same
    Do you run separate or joint accounts?
    Separate accounts. I think this is vital.
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post
    Separate accounts. I think this is vital.
    Thanks mate.... not alone then.
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    Quote Originally Posted by jontymate View Post
    Just a quick question on finances

    We run separate bank accounts. What is hers is hers. Pays for the household and money going back to LOS.
    She pays the food, house and contents insurance, etc.

    Work pays for her and my cars, our phones, internet, most travel and everything else I can put through (I notice she is filling up my daughters car ...Honey your car is diesel and daughters car in ULP) More sly money.

    Me..I pay for the health insurance and the big ticket items(Kids)

    Do you run separate or joint accounts?
    We have a very similar situatuion to yours Jonty. Basically we have three accounts, my own, her own plus a joint account.

    My account my salary is used mainly for all the monthly direct debits eg mortgage, utility bills, etc but I keep some of my own "secret" money back for if anything takes my fancy. What's remaining is transfered to my wife's account which she uses to buy the weekly food shop and then anything spare after that is what we use for going out for meals, clothes or whatever.

    Her account - In addition to the "housekeeping" money that I transfer, her part-time wage goes into her account which she uses if she wants to send cash back to the family. So basically her money is hers and what's hers is her families.

    Joint account - We agree that a set amount each month, plus anything left at the end of the month goes into our savings for future LOS trips, buying her land or whatever and is kept in our joint account. Not to be touched by either of us under any circumstances.

    As for the "sly money". Basically anything sent back home is considered as such and goes to a trusted "elder" or friend who makes sure my wife's mother receives it. If it went to any other family member such as her brother/sister it would just disappear in a sea of Lao Khao the minute it hit the bank account

    Steve
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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by toddmeister View Post
    We have a very similar situatuion to yours Jonty. Basically we have three accounts, my own, her own plus a joint account.

    My account my salary is used mainly for all the monthly direct debits eg mortgage, utility bills, etc but I keep some of my own "secret" money back for if anything takes my fancy. What's remaining is transfered to my wife's account which she uses to buy the weekly food shop and then anything spare after that is what we use for going out for meals, clothes or whatever.

    Her account - In addition to the "housekeeping" money that I transfer, her part-time wage goes into her account which she uses if she wants to send cash back to the family. So basically her money is hers and what's hers is her families.

    Joint account - We agree that a set amount each month, plus anything left at the end of the month goes into our savings for future LOS trips, buying her land or whatever and is kept in our joint account. Not to be touched by either of us under any circumstances.

    As for the "sly money". Basically anything sent back home is considered as such and goes to a trusted "elder" or friend who makes sure my wife's mother receives it. If it went to any other family member such as her brother/sister it would just disappear in a sea of Lao Khao the minute it hit the bank account

    Steve

    Thanks Steve appreciated.
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    RIP Cilla (Craig) Platinum Cilla's Avatar
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    Keep talking about this subject as it is one of the most difficult things I am trying to get my head around. Don't have to do what you guys are doing yet as A not here permenantly yet but finding it difficult to broach the subject with A even about support money now......

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    Quote Originally Posted by jontymate View Post
    Just a quick question on finances

    We run separate bank accounts. What is hers is hers. Pays for the household and money going back to LOS.
    She pays the food, house and contents insurance, etc.

    Work pays for her and my cars, our phones, internet, most travel and everything else I can put through (I notice she is filling up my daughters car ...Honey your car is diesel and daughters car in ULP) More sly money.

    Me..I pay for the health insurance and the big ticket items(Kids)

    Do you run separate or joint accounts?
    Same Same.... Separate

    Ning pays out monthly payment to to MIL who also has control of dishing out allowances.

    Grandpa, Uncle, Sister and Poppa who is under a very tight lid due to lottery tickets

    Rest on Nings money is hers to do with what she wants. She also buys general stuff / food for the house. If she needs to spend more than $100 she uses my debit card. Only thing I say to her is let me know so I can keep track of finances. She never tells me, says she forgot. I only find out when I check the balance and work out it isn't where it should be. She has no idea of how to save for a rainy day. So I have to take control sometimes.

    I pay Mortgage, Rates, Electricity, loans, credit cards and any other bills or large additions to the house.
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    RIP Cilla (Craig) Platinum Cilla's Avatar
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    What is the best way to talk to TG about finances???? Tried open approach and all I got was a sulk for three days and told up to you.

    Condo good to see you on again, which mine are you working at????? Read that you were the originator of all the TV paperwork, our TV application at the Embassy now and expext an answer next week. Lets see if get 100% record for you and JC1

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    Foundation Member Platinum Condo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cilla View Post
    What is the best way to talk to TG about finances???? Tried open approach and all I got was a sulk for three days and told up to you.

    Condo good to see you on again, which mine are you working at????? Read that you were the originator of all the TV paperwork, our TV application at the Embassy now and expext an answer next week. Lets see if get 100% record for you and JC1
    Hope all goes well for you Cilla!

    I was trying to think back to my first TV and it seems so long ago that I would doubt that my information is up to date.

    I'd have to go back to my first post at PI but, would say it would be about 5 years. In fact I just went back and checked and it was November 2007 so nearly 5 years. Hell time flys when your having fun.

    Im working at BMA's Saraji Coal Mine in the Bowen Basin. about 2.5 hours SW of Mackay by car. Im actually on the train now on my way to Brisbane Airport, followed by a flight to Mackay then drive to the mine. Work 6 days and be back on the Coast next Saturday.

    Having a ball and loving every minute of it. Its great to be out of an office after 20 years, enjoying the remoteness of it all away from daily peak hour traffic.
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    RIP Cilla (Craig) Platinum Cilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Condo View Post
    Hope all goes well for you Cilla!

    I was trying to think back to my first TV and it seems so long ago that I would doubt that my information is up to date.

    I'd have to go back to my first post at PI but, would say it would be about 5 years. In fact I just went back and checked and it was November 2007 so nearly 5 years. Hell time flys when your having fun.

    Im working at BMA's Saraji Coal Mine in the Bowen Basin. about 2.5 hours SW of Mackay by car. Im actually on the train now on my way to Brisbane Airport, followed by a flight to Mackay then drive to the mine. Work 6 days and be back on the Coast next Saturday.

    Having a ball and loving every minute of it. Its great to be out of an office after 20 years, enjoying the remoteness of it all away from daily peak hour traffic.
    Thanks for the reply,
    I am seriously thinking about going out to the mines.....Ex missus took 1/2 my super and did not get to much profit from when the house was sold, pay back morgage. Just trying to work out how to get there and what to apply for. Same same you, time to get out of the office that I have been in for 20 yrs and enjoy the last of the working life.
    Hey its pouring rain here and has been for a couple of days so bring your umbrella, 555.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cilla View Post
    Thanks for the reply,
    I am seriously thinking about going out to the mines.....Ex missus took 1/2 my super and did not get to much profit from when the house was sold, pay back morgage. Just trying to work out how to get there and what to apply for. Same same you, time to get out of the office that I have been in for 20 yrs and enjoy the last of the working life.
    Hey its pouring rain here and has been for a couple of days so bring your umbrella, 555.
    Not sure if you saw Condo's update the other day Cilla..... but this looks like a good thing and close to you! Myne Start Underground Training Complex - Mastermyne
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cilla View Post
    What is the best way to talk to TG about finances???? Tried open approach and all I got was a sulk for three days and told up to you.

    I think the more time you spend together the more comfortable she will be regards talking finances Cilla.


    I have mentioned before although it does seem I am in the minority, not all TG's send money home, when I asked my TG that question years ago she said Mama & Papa still work, have money themselves, not to say things will change once they finish working.


    I organised a debit card for my TG when she was here, took a couple of days, has her name on the card, I made her use it here for shopping etc, I can control whats in the card and what goes out and can check online. She still has it now and has used it a couple of times at Tesco Lotus for shopping, I also said let me know if you are going to spend more than 3000Baht.
    A Wise Man Once Said "Nothing"

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    I think also Cilla that once she visits she will get a feel of what money is worth in Oz.... Just watch her face when you buy that first bag of rice for 3 times the price that you would get it in Thailand. Explain to her how much your mortgage/rent is worth every month and just the general cost of living... It will change her perspective on things very quickly!
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    RIP Cilla (Craig) Platinum Cilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    I think also Cilla that once she visits she will get a feel of what money is worth in Oz.... Just watch her face when you buy that first bag of rice for 3 times the price that you would get it in Thailand. Explain to her how much your mortgage/rent is worth every month and just the general cost of living... It will change her perspective on things very quickly!
    The thing is I asked her what a comfortable support amount for her was. She wriggled big time, up to you......I said if you don't tell me I don't know.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cilla View Post
    What is the best way to talk to TG about finances???? Tried open approach and all I got was a sulk for three days and told up to you.
    Maybe for a month both keep a list of expenses...helps both of you. TG may find this more comfortable...when they cannot remember or have to explain something, then can lead to silence/sulk. Whereas, when dealing with facts, might be easier.
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