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Thread: "Up to you"......

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    "Up to you"......

    Love this....When is it really up to you?
    Maybe when you are paying..Hmmm wrong word does that ever really stop.555

    But i think about My situation, Up to you is only if it is within her plans.55555

    I understand the irrits this phrase can give and is it really as Mai Ben Rai as it sounds?
    .

  2. #2
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    Agreed. In our case "up to you" from her point of view = I know what I want but have to offer you an option/opinion. You know what I want to hear and know I will get my own way in the end, but I'm not going to say that directly, sooooo....."up to you" 5555

    I've tried on a few ocassions to say "why don't you just tell me what you want, I'll agree and we save time getting to the what it was you wanted me agree to in the first place?"........never works that way

    Steve
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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Well put, nothing like going in circles.555555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    I find a very funny show "Yes Minister" English comody, shows many parellels with the "Up to you".
    The minister is the lamb but allowed to voice his decision's, the staff then subtly lead him around to what decision they wanted in the first place.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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    Cadet silver bunga's Avatar
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    I wish at the very least I could get a "yes" when I suggest something that she really does want.... but nooooo ~ its "up to you" even when I KNOW it is what she wants.....

    AARRGGG!

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Thanks wabbs maybe this should be in a new section under not happy.......

    Up to you, 3 words i have learned to hate in thailand.......
    Ohhhh, Pigsy! You call yourself a demon? จูบก้นของฉัน Everything I post here is IMHO and IME... I am no expert....

  7. #7
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    It reminds me of the western version "Whatever"!!
    Travel is the only thing you buy that makes you richer.

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    Cadet silver bunga's Avatar
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    I think it ties into their customs... It is expected that the woman follow what the man suggests... and "up to you" is, perhaps partly due to that cultural expectation.

    The way I have approached it is that if she gives me the "up to you" comment, I will read into the hints she has given me, think about what really would be the correct decision to make, and be firm with the decision. If it ends up being wrong, I will tell her that I am sorry and learn from it.

    Mistakes are made and she may get angry but as long as I can show her that (key word being "show her that" ) I can be a good leader of the household and always keep her in my thoughts, she will be happier than if I continue to probe too much about what she really really wants...

    Then again, I've only just started to delve very recently and probably have NO idea what the hell I am talking about.... 555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bunga View Post
    I think it ties into their customs... It is expected that the woman follow what the man suggests... and "up to you" is, perhaps partly due to that cultural expectation.

    The way I have approached it is that if she gives me the "up to you" comment, I will read into the hints she has given me, think about what really would be the correct decision to make, and be firm with the decision. If it ends up being wrong, I will tell her that I am sorry and learn from it.

    Mistakes are made and she may get angry but as long as I can show her that (key word being "show her that" ) I can be a good leader of the household and always keep her in my thoughts, she will be happier than if I continue to probe too much about what she really really wants...

    Then again, I've only just started to delve very recently and probably have NO idea what the hell I am talking about.... 555

    Bunga,
    Man for someone that has just started your journey, you have very good wisdom.
    It won't matter, if you with a Thai or Cheq. Russian or aus. It is the same.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

  10. #10
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bunga View Post
    I think it ties into their customs... It is expected that the woman follow what the man suggests... and "up to you" is, perhaps partly due to that cultural expectation.

    The way I have approached it is that if she gives me the "up to you" comment, I will read into the hints she has given me, think about what really would be the correct decision to make, and be firm with the decision. If it ends up being wrong, I will tell her that I am sorry and learn from it.

    Mistakes are made and she may get angry but as long as I can show her that (key word being "show her that" ) I can be a good leader of the household and always keep her in my thoughts, she will be happier than if I continue to probe too much about what she really really wants...

    Then again, I've only just started to delve very recently and probably have NO idea what the hell I am talking about.... 555
    The best part here...was the summation! 555

    Im with 2 newbies drinking beer at the Beergarden at Kamala Beach one night , and we are listening intently to ones problem - seems his lovely tg is always threatening to leave , but it takes a very long story to get to that.
    He finishes and we are all silent , quietly digesting the problem and thinking of ways to help.
    The other guy , also quite new to living here in Thailand, raises his head , and looks to have a breakthrough moment...
    He raises a finger and says , "I KNOW...."
    We all look up .
    "... Just say , 'Up to you!' " , he says.

    Its about then that I involuntarily spat my beer all over both of them!
    555
    They all jumped , but dissolved in laughter as well ... as if its really up to us.

    I mean , try saying , "Up to you" to a tg over something sticky.
    These are fighting words when delivered from a man , and a backhanded sarcasm when coming from a tg.
    You should 'know' what she would have you do , just as you are supposed to know what a woman back home wants.
    The crux of the matter is that what she wants is harder than you would like , or doesnt equally suit you.
    Shes showing she knows that , and tapping her foot while she folds her arms and waits.

    The solution?
    There is none that really is easy for you.
    The Thai mans approach?
    Dont ask her in the first place , hes already learned once or twice that her preference is painful for him.

    And we think Thai blokes arent real smart.... 555

  11. #11
    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    can mean anything from feck you I'm outta here right through to I love you darling and will do anything you want.so be careful interpreting that. 555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    I used it "once" and i was like pulling the pin on a handgrenade, 5 4 3 2 1.....
    Sydney and Arliss Michaels like this.
    Ohhhh, Pigsy! You call yourself a demon? จูบก้นของฉัน Everything I post here is IMHO and IME... I am no expert....

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    I also used it one time. Thought "now it's my time to use it".....Will never use it again ;-).....

  14. #14
    david j crow
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    It reminds me of the western version "Whatever"!!
    Spot on, a couple of times I have used the phrase myself, feels so good!! works well. Felt like I didnt need to make any decision and the ball was in her court. Noi would have got her own way anyway! haha
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  15. #15
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by david j crow View Post
    Spot on, a couple of times I have used the phrase myself, feels so good!! works well. Felt like I didnt need to make any decision and the ball was in her court. Noi would have got her own way anyway! haha
    Yes mate "go with the flow" 55555
    Ohhhh, Pigsy! You call yourself a demon? จูบก้นของฉัน Everything I post here is IMHO and IME... I am no expert....

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    .....................
    Last edited by Fionn; 16th May 2013 at 11:31.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Lately, it is light my fuse and watch out........
    Ohhhh, Pigsy! You call yourself a demon? จูบก้นของฉัน Everything I post here is IMHO and IME... I am no expert....

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Nomad's Avatar
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    We talked about "Up to you" tonight. That is, "up to you" really mean, be careful, big trouble if you make wrong decision. Later, I said "up to you" and was told. "Cannot. I have the paper. No anyone copy. Get my royer". 555
    "Don't wait around for your life to happen to you. Find something that makes you happy and do it. Everything else is just background noise." George Mason

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    "up to you" can be a test from my experience.

    how much money do you want?
    up to you.

    too little and you`re a cheap charlie...too much and you`re a bit soft.

    easy way for them to judge you.

    also..."if you want to take another lady while i go ban (home) it`s ok"...all smiling and agreeing.
    the trap is if you say "beauty"!! run for cover you`re in trouble 555
    Last edited by Moo Uaon; 6th September 2012 at 19:01.

  20. #20
    Guest Platinum daohoshi Dao's Avatar
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    Ok up to you. You know for talk english yes. You have tone for voice. Same up to you. Open you eye and ear for different tone ans smile. Talk quick different talk slow and the shy.

    Different foe girl and boy talk together. Lady talk yes.

    Ok English talking and writing very different. English use tone for voice. Cannot write for same tone. Chob or minder translator. I think so 5555
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