Homesick TG

[Sydney]

Chatting to JK last night and i think she is getting a few pre- fight jitters.. she says this time she feels she will get sickhome...555 yes homesick ...she feels she doesn't want to leave her family and is sad.

I guess this normal when she knows this time she is coming for real and may not see her family for a couple of years. It got me thinking this would be my big concern in the relationship as she is very close to her family and how she will cope being separated from them.

I have seen 1st hand how homesickness can effect a female b4, both with my ex ( from UK ) and many of my old kiwi friends where the female of the relationship has ended up dragging the male ( much to the males horror) back to NZ. Over a 2 year period i lost 4 couple friends back to NZ manly to do with homesickness. And for 17 years it was always a re-occurring problem with my EX as she also was very close to her family.

I am now left wondering how this next homesick issue will pan out.

[wabbits]

Chatting to JK last night and i think she is getting a few pre- fight jitters.. she says this time she feels she will get sickhome...555 yes homesick ...she feels she doesn't want to leave her family and is sad.

I guess this normal when she knows this time she is coming for real and may not see her family for a couple of years. It got me thinking this would be my big concern in the relationship as she is very close to her family and how she will cope being separated from them.

I have seen 1st hand how homesickness can effect a female b4, both with my ex ( from UK ) and many of my old kiwi friends where the female of the relationship has ended up dragging the male ( much to the males horror) back to NZ. Over a 2 year period i lost 4 couple friends back to NZ manly to do with homesickness. And for 17 years it was always a re-occurring problem with my EX as she also was very close to her family.

I am now left wondering how this next homesick issue will pan out.

Something we will all deal with to varying degrees and no race colour or creed is immune.

Mrs W's first trip she was homesick took me a little to get it out of her. Did not help we had outside pressures to deal with also.
She drank a little too much I think to take the edge off, I know now and can see the signs easily.
Second trip to Oz no such problems at all.

I think that if our girls have good access to call family they feel as they would working in BKK and having family up country.
The more secure Mrs W has felt with me the less it has raised its head, well it does not at all now.

I think that you being a supportive partner making sure she has not to much time to dwell should eliminate most of these feelings

[PatongBeachBoy]

This is a Bizarre thing Sydney, I was just at a good mates place discussing this very thing..... I am or should I say Thip and I are so fortunate that we have met another Thai/Falang couple within 1klm of our place.... as it turns out they have a son who is in the same class as my son (which is how we met)......
This allows Thip lots of avenue's to stem the homesick bug... There are so many factors that need to be met to make this their home, just take their religious needs for an example.. there is so many religious days within the Thai calendar that personally I have no concept or understanding of.... Then there is there dietary needs.. its not good for a Thai digest system to switch to a western diet.. and keep in mind food is often used as a comfort thing..... And then look at the social side of things, women are women, they like to chat and carry on with other women and go shopping and all that stuff that us mere males just don't see as important.....
So do yourself a favour.... seek out your local temple, find a good supplier of Thai produce and try find some friends for her...... and in the mean time find a Thai DVD shop so they can have a good supply of Thai Soapies......
Like I said I am so fortunate, I have even become great mates with the guy and been able to cover all of Thips needs at the same time....

[G4orce]

I know I have talked to Noy about it a few times, and she says she will miss her mum very much. I have told her there will be ways to talk to her and she is happy with this. She is also worried (as i am a shift worker) what she will do on my Night shifts as she would feel lonely. I have also talked to her about what would happen after the three month Visa was over. Would she come back as soon as the next visa is approved or stay in LOS for a while. She said she wants to spend as little time apart as possible but also wants to be able to see her family in-between the stays. I guess I am going to have to wait and see what happens when the time comes but can see where you guys are coming from. I know if I was away from my family for an extended time I would like to spend time with them as well, I have always been close with my family so I see her side as well.

[wabbits]

^ Good post PBB You tube for Thai lacom and Thai music and so so right about food. I thought it would be a problem here in the middle of nowhere. Better than the Gold Coast as so many Thai here growing their own.

[PatongBeachBoy]

Wabs, I did think of your situation in the middle of nowhere, obviously no temple or asian food shop for miles.... One of the best things I invested in was a laptop and internet connection for Thips mum.... I'll come home and see that she was chatting to mum for 2-3hrs..... We catch up with our friends at least once a week and probably every 2nd or 3rd week someone will have a party, which consists of anywhere between 20-50 thai Falang couples..... great parties always ending in a late night card game 555

[Sydney]

That is a very fortunate thing...finding a farang/thai couple so close to you...and even more amazing you get on with them as well.. JK has being chattiing to alot of thai ladies on a thai forum...many waiting on visa's to come to aus....but all bar one not coming to sydney...the one coming to Sydney funny enough is going to be living about 5 km from my place...but JK is very sus of her as she sounds a very well to do thai.

Good advice on the temple and i will have to look into that....nothing local i know that...minimum 40 minute drive i am thinking

Food ...local thai produce will be hard....i live in the most northern part of Sydney and most asian shops close to me only sells chinese, korean foods. But last time we cooked many thai dishes...with all the right herbs, pastes etc....just not with the exact produce.

TBH food, temples and friends i am not worried about..i know JK will breeze through that .....family is another matter....i know homesickness well and keeping busy, having home comforts etc will help but can sometimes still be fleeting....even calling home can be a double edged sword... as soon as they put the phone down it can then sink in.

A strong relationship is really the only weapon....as i said in the op it maybe only pre-flight jitters....i will keep you posted

[PatongBeachBoy]

Add to your list before Sunday....... Vegie Garden 555

[Sydney]

One of the best things I invested in was a laptop and internet connection for Thips mum.... I'll come home and see that she was chatting to mum for 2-3hrs.

2nd best weapon.....much better than the phone ...add a cam to that and suddenly you feel a lot closer to home

[justcruzing1]

When I went and got Jeab,
the first thing I did was go to the close family, half sister and mother, met father who she said was dead. It turned out he is dead in her heart. Same same me and my boys.

We then went to see her children. She only got to see them one day every two months, so as she was coming for two months, it was like normal.

When she was here I took her to the casino, where many Thai girls/ladies gamble, I knew them all before, she was comfortable there.

Before that on her second night here I took her to a Thai restaraunt where a lady I knew from the casino ,worked. They made her some special Thai dish that she loved, it was what they were eating.

I set up skype so she could call her children, friends and family anytime, day or night. I would now just give her a Libra sim card, it's cheaper than Skype.

I had her tutored by a Thai lady in English, and she told us of the local temple. We went twice, she was in her element, and I highly recomend this to anyone having a Thai girl in their home. Several of the woman were ones I had met at the casino. and they treated her like a friend.

It is something special to see, and go thru, the binding of the string ( conected to everyone in the room/temple) and the Mass??? then the get together with all the food , on the floor and happy as pigs in mud.

Then the night Mass??? we all were given bundles of roses with candles in them, we lit them and walked outside, and around the Budha trail 3 times, before depositing our flowers at the alter.

The Monk was a nice guy, if I post my TR you will see more, and the comunity welcomed her and me, soooo much, I feel like going back, although she isn't here.

We shopped at 2 different Asian supermarkets, and she was always cautious of the cost. Cheap by my standard, outragious by hers.

I think the Temple and Thai comunity network is important to establish before she arrives. But be carefull of the ones that want to get into their heads and tell them they can get more.

I was lucky, but I can see how it can happen.

[Sydney]

Add to your list before Sunday....... Vegie Garden 555

555555 ..funny you should say that...JK wanted to send some seeds over by post...herbs etc...i told he they wouldn't allow them through postal customs...anyway she went ahead and posted them anyway...sure enough this week i get a letter from postal customs.....yep seeds now in quarantine and will be destroyed very shortly...i haven't the heart to tell her yet..i think best to wait till she arrives....55555l

[wabbits]

Internet phone gets a hammering and i have been told we are potting up chili plants...
Thursday market here is good as all the Local Thai ladied get together then Mrs W comes home nd tell me all the gossip 555

[justcruzing1]

555555 ..funny you should say that...JK wanted to send some seeds over by post...herbs etc...i told he they wouldn't allow them through postal customs...anyway she went ahead and posted them anyway...sure enough this week i get a letter from postal customs.....yep seeds now in quarantine and will be destroyed very shortly...i haven't the heart to tell her yet..i think best to wait till she arrives....55555l

Can you ask what they were? and try to replicate them??

[Sydney]

Cool JC that's sounds fascinating about the temple....i into giving that a go for sure...really good help guys....i will do some research and put some things into action

[Sydney]

Can you ask what they were? and try to replicate them??

yeah i think most of the herbs will be no problem..i still have a huge basil plant growing out back from her last trip....55555 i think the sending seeds idea was just a connection to home...

[PatongBeachBoy]

555555 ..funny you should say that...JK wanted to send some seeds over by post...herbs etc...i told he they wouldn't allow them through postal customs...anyway she went ahead and posted them anyway...sure enough this week i get a letter from postal customs.....yep seeds now in quarantine and will be destroyed very shortly...i haven't the heart to tell her yet..i think best to wait till she arrives....55555l

my mates on his last warning with customs..... friends and family are constantly sending things over by post, mainly medicine.... as it is recorded each time (and they always send it to him) they give you three warnings before prosecution.... his wife simply said "thats ok they send to me or son next time"

[Sydney]

my mates on his last warning with customs..... friends and family are constantly sending things over by post, mainly medicine.... as it is recorded each time (and they always send it to him) they give you three warnings before prosecution.... his wife simply said "thats ok they send to me or son next time"

55555.....absolutely no concept of Australia's paranoid ( and rightly so) fauna & flora protection .

[wabbits]

55555.....absolutely no concept of Australia's paranoid ( and rightly so) fauna & flora protection .

Watching Border security
"sir do you have any food in your suit case"......
"No officer i not be having anything like that in my siutcase:"
"What is this thing called food"
"Sorry officer not my bag"

[Sydney]

Watching Border security
"sir do you have any food in your suit case"......
"No officer i not be having anything like that in my siutcase:"
"What is this thing called food"
"Sorry officer not my bag"

Or
" not me pack my bother do "

[wabbits]

Or
" not me pack my bother do "

That not food dat curry pwder and ground donkey c0ck(;-)