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Thread: Why do YOU want to Marry a Thai Girl?

  1. #1
    Mrs M.
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    Why do YOU want to Marry a Thai Girl?

    Sawat Dee, Kha.

    Why do you want to marry a Thai girl?

    That is a question that many men should ask themselves, before they get in the queue to marry a Thai girl.

    There are men want to marry a Thai girl but NEVER try to understand or accept any of Thai culture, some of them do not even like Thai food, do not even learn to speak Thai.

    Why do you want to marry a Thai girl?
    They are sweet, They take good care of you very well, They give you some respect, or maybe easy reason, because you love them.

    There are 2 types of Thai girls in Thailand.
    1. Normal girls, when I say normal girls I do not mean that other are abnormal or anything like that. But they are girls in other careers. (Of course not all-Thai girls are bar girls.)
    2. Bar girls

    For a farang man who come to Thailand for holiday there are more chance that you will bump into a bar girl! Some of them are good girls, but many of them are dangerous (that is what you like isnít it ).

    So that is up to you to look and find out.

    What I try to say here is not about behaviour or personality of bar girls but of GIRLS.

    Different person is a different personality. So please understand that not all Thai girls are the same. It is not fair for the other millions of girls in Thailand if you would judge them from some mistake or misbehaviour of some Thai GIRLS, Bar girl or not.

    Letís see what is simple Thai custom that we got,

    - The children will always take care of the older, parent & family. This is big one. Thai family is always very close to each other.

    Are you prepared for this?
    It is depend on your girl (and their family) and you that how would you manage it. Not give them too much, not too little.

    - What is Sin Sot ?

    I know someone who describes Sin Sod very well.
    It is not the price to buy your girl but it is gift that you give to the family to replace the girl. This is because she is the one who take care of the family, her parents but now you are going to take her away and what are they going to do without the money she give them every month?

    There are many farang men would think that they are selling their daughter.
    No that is not what it is like.

    If you would try to understand and accept the custom. It might make things much easier for you both.

    I hope you find what you are looking forÖ.

    Sawat Dee, Kha.
    (;-)

    (Edit in from Minder - Well, I thought she should start with something easy and straightforward and not likely to stir emotions - and she gives me one about Sin Sot *Cha Ching*

    The above post is as close to the original text written solely by Mrs M. as I could keep it - that will be the case with all of her posts that I assist with - her words with some editing by me for the purposes of clarity.

    Enjoy )

  2. #2
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Why a Thai girl?? This is a question that as Farangs we do not wish to look at to closely our reasons are varied and some not so pure.
    But in the end if we do not learn seek guidance and attempt to understand our Thai ladies we will be doomed..as far as our relationship is concerned. When you have a diamond then we need to do our absolute best to look after her, is our duty.
    The reward....more than we give..amazing.

    Mrs M i think with your clear thinking you will give us some thoughtful insightful thread starters like this one...i am smiling as i type as i know i will be learning.555
    .

  3. #3
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    So how does a man work out what the correct amount of sin sot to pay a family?


    (INCOMING!!!!!! )
    Life is the unexpected ...

  4. #4
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Great first post Mrs M......I am one who thinks understands Sin Sot and tries to understand Thai culture/s.... I will say that just about everyday with my GF I learn something new about Thai customs.... I also try to explain to her that now we have our own custom; by that I mean, there is my Australian custom and her Thai custom... both need to be respected and understood and with that the 2 will be melded to form our own custom...... I am a single father whose finances are stretched thin raising 2 children, we send money to her mother and also send money to her son.... sin sot has been brought up and figures thrown around, and to be honest I will struggle to raise it....
    sometimes I feel like this situation is a time bomb waiting to go off

  5. #5
    Mrs M.
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Great first post Mrs M......I am one who thinks understands Sin Sot and tries to understand Thai culture/s.... I will say that just about everyday with my GF I learn something new about Thai customs.... I also try to explain to her that now we have our own custom; by that I mean, there is my Australian custom and her Thai custom... both need to be respected and understood and with that the 2 will be melded to form our own custom...... I am a single father whose finances are stretched thin raising 2 children, we send money to her mother and also send money to her son.... sin sot has been brought up and figures thrown around, and to be honest I will struggle to raise it....
    sometimes I feel like this situation is a time bomb waiting to go off
    **Fist of all** I am not a NATIVE English ^_^ lets not forget this.

    Sin sot = Thai custom (not a rule or a law). I think you are doing the right thing, you do the best that you can, you both taking care of her mother, her son and you still have your own 2 sons to taking care of as well.

    sometimes I feel like this situation is a time bomb waiting to go off>>> I am not sure that you share your finance situation with your wife or not, if not you might want to try to explain to her so she will understand ....and may be work something out.

    Sin Sot does not need to be BIG money, could be anything that you both happy with,

    You do not need to do everything that your in laws want (shuuuhh),but you should be FAIR and HONEST (enough to look into your own eyes)...

    I know that there are so many people say that married a Thai girl, is married her family, its very true BUT, its not always come with drama. You can still be happy, just need to learn about your family and work something out.

    This is my personal opinion if anyone disagree keep you voice down 555,Why would A mother of a son want SIN SOT too, I thought is only for a new young bride ^_^) As long as you are taking good care of her parent, her child, children and also taking good care of her.

    I would not hope that this will help, but I am glad I write it. ^_&

    Good night,

  6. #6
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Why do YOU want to Marry a Thai Girl?
    If I ever married a Thai girl... it would not be because she is a Thai Girl... but because she is a woman I love and respect. Her cultural background and family are what make her who she is... so in answer to your question. I don't want to marry a Thai Girl.... but I may end up one day marrying a woman... who comes from Thailand.

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    I am only in a new Relationship with a TG and I am not thinking too much about Marriage just yet(although she is 555). I would like marry one day but still in the early stages so would like to get to know my GF a lot more before making that decision. What I do know is that I love my GF and that is the reason I am currently with her. I do find myself attracted to Asian Women (not just Thai) more then Western women but I always told myself I would not get involved with a long distance Relationship but I have this time because I am in Love with this girl. I talk to her daily for hours and have planned to get her a Visa to come to Australia with me in June.

    As for the Thai Culture, I am slowly learning it and understanding its ways. I have read Thailand Fever which was a great book to read for anyone involved with a Thai Person. That is only a basic outline of things to expect so I still have a lot to learn. As for the Sin Sot I understand some things about it. I understand the amount is to be discussed between partners and Familys and many things can determain the amount. I also understand that both have to make changes to the way of life. I have talked to my GF about our possible future together and think we both understand we need to learn a lot more about eachother and will both need to make "out own Culture" (Half Thai, Half Australian). I understand she is very close with her family and will require sending money home to take care of them when she is in Australia. The question I have is that after Sin Sot is paid does that mean sending money home every month will stop? I ask because the way you described it is that the Sin Sot as "It is not the price to buy your girl but it is gift that you give to the family to replace the girl. This is because she is the one who take care of the family, her parents but now you are going to take her away and what are they going to do without the money she give them every month"

  8. #8
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    I am only in a new Relationship with a TG and I am not thinking too much about Marriage just yet(although she is 555). I would like marry one day but still in the early stages so would like to get to know my GF a lot more before making that decision. What I do know is that I love my GF and that is the reason I am currently with her. I do find myself attracted to Asian Women (not just Thai) more then Western women but I always told myself I would not get involved with a long distance Relationship but I have this time because I am in Love with this girl. I talk to her daily for hours and have planned to get her a Visa to come to Australia with me in June.

    As for the Thai Culture, I am slowly learning it and understanding its ways. I have read Thailand Fever which was a great book to read for anyone involved with a Thai Person. That is only a basic outline of things to expect so I still have a lot to learn. As for the Sin Sot I understand some things about it. I understand the amount is to be discussed between partners and Familys and many things can determain the amount. I also understand that both have to make changes to the way of life. I have talked to my GF about our possible future together and think we both understand we need to learn a lot more about eachother and will both need to make "out own Culture" (Half Thai, Half Australian). I understand she is very close with her family and will require sending money home to take care of them when she is in Australia. The question I have is that after Sin Sot is paid does that mean sending money home every month will stop? I ask because the way you described it is that the Sin Sot as "It is not the price to buy your girl but it is gift that you give to the family to replace the girl. This is because she is the one who take care of the family, her parents but now you are going to take her away and what are they going to do without the money she give them every month"
    I had a long talk with JC, we were talking about long distance relationships and the obstacles involved. It is not the easy path, not for everyone. Totally worth it for the one....the ONE...only you can know.

    For money to family Mrs W has been born with the fairness gene strongly implanted.
    She watches what family does she knows what it costs in village and she knows how the money is spent.
    She is happy to pay her share but will not finance her family to sit around.
    They would not anyway all quite industrious.
    So Mrs M is right know her family it is part. Though by the time i knew her family it was too late 55555
    .

  9. #9
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    I had a long talk with JC, we were talking about long distance relationships and the obstacles involved. It is not the easy path, not for everyone. Totally worth it for the one....the ONE...only you can know.
    Sure is a hard one, never done it myself before this one. I find myself watching my brother and his GF getting Jealous of the fact that they can see eachother everyday. I know that in the long run, the wait will be worth it and believe thats what gets me through it.

  10. #10
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    Sure is a hard one, never done it myself before this one. I find myself watching my brother and his GF getting Jealous of the fact that they can see eachother everyday. I know that in the long run, the wait will be worth it and believe thats what gets me through it.
    believe me well worth it simple as that...might even make it better after all we tend to put more value on things that are not easy.
    .

  11. #11
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    If I ever married a Thai girl... it would not be because she is a Thai Girl... but because she is a woman I love and respect. Her cultural background and family are what make her who she is... so in answer to your question. I don't want to marry a Thai Girl.... but I may end up one day marrying a woman... who comes from Thailand.
    Excelently put DP.

    Hello Mrs M, and thank's for your input.

    Having been married twice before, I had no intention of falling in love, yet alone marriage. Still not sure about it.

    I see language, and understanding, the bigest hurdle, if you can't understand what some one says or things get missunderstood, that's when things go wrong.

  12. #12
    Frequent Flyer kaptainrob's Avatar
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    I met a lady who speaks almost perfect English and we just 'clicked' ... she just happens to be Thai, which is not unusual as I was visiting Thailand at the time

    We share so many common ideals, thoughts and aspirations it's uncanny... we can virtually read each others thoughts.
    Cheers, Rob.
    Lifes journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting: holy s.h.i.t what a ride!

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kaptainrob View Post
    I met a lady who speaks almost perfect English and we just 'clicked' ... she just happens to be Thai, which is not unusual as I was visiting Thailand at the time

    We share so many common ideals, thoughts and aspirations it's uncanny... we can virtually read each others thoughts.
    whats the Thai word for Simpatico?
    Somes it up for me.
    .

  14. #14
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by justcruzing1 View Post
    Excelently put DP.

    Hello Mrs M, and thank's for your input.

    Having been married twice before, I had no intention of falling in love, yet alone marriage. Still not sure about it.

    I see language, and understanding, the bigest hurdle, if you can't understand what some one says or things get missunderstood, that's when things go wrong.
    LOL.....I wrote almost the exact same words on a forum almost a decade ago amid the wreckage and debt and tattered remains of my second marriage.

    NEVER AGAIN, I swore.......and how wrong I was.

    You may never find miss right in Thailand but it is a great place to have a long, long look for her....555

    The "language barrier" I have found - was and still is - an asset not a liability to our relationship because Mr-shoot-from-the-lip aka me, actually has to stop and think BEFORE he speaks.

    How many times in the past have you found yourself wishing you could take back something said in haste to your partner?

    Now imagine a relationship where that almost NEVER happens.....ahhhh BLISS.

    Enjoy
    Life is the unexpected ...

  15. #15
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    First of all Sawadee Kup Mrs M and welcome.

    Three things;
    Thai Girl
    Marriage
    Sin Sot

    All in the first post too..555

    From my point of view, I don't think being Thai had anything to do with my choice of partner. It wasn't because I particularly liked thai food either. I just met someone that I liked to spend time with and who I found wanted a lot of the same things as I did and after some time we decided that we wanted a future together. It really wasn't anything to do with bars or bargirls, even though I spent my share of time there.*Cha Ching*

    Marriage was a deal breaker for Nut early on, and was something that I accepted as necessary. The fact that (Incredibly) Australian law still actually requires it for a thai partner to live and work here was very persuasive.

    Sin Sot? Whatever it is, I don't believe that I agree with you that it is a lump sum payment to the parents which is meant to entirely replace a future income from a daughter. If that were the case, I should never again be called upon to send money to the family for any reason. That being said, there are usually good family reasons for a sizeable payment to be made on the occasion of marriage that everyone in the village can see.

    I also believe that a daughter will still feel that she has a responsibility to support her parents. Therefore her partner will also see a continuing responsibility to support the new in laws in their old age, and also to help them out in future if they need it.
    After all, who would let their family down?
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Personally I dont understand why with Sin Sot that Falang have a different price to Thai men. Why should it be different? I can understand with Shopping as Tourism is a huge pack of the Income in Thailand. But getting marride is no longer a tourism thing or a way to make money but a way for 2 people to show their love for eachother. In saying this I do not disagree with the Sin Sot altogether but just the amount differences in amounts for Falangs and Thai Men

  17. #17
    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    Personally I dont understand why with Sin Sot that Falang have a different price to Thai men. Why should it be different? I can understand with Shopping as Tourism is a huge pack of the Income in Thailand. But getting marride is no longer a tourism thing or a way to make money but a way for 2 people to show their love for eachother. In saying this I do not disagree with the Sin Sot altogether but just the amount differences in amounts for Falangs and Thai Men
    Bride price! Do you want a cheap one or a designer one?
    Farangs love and money will be a must as a thread by itself.
    Bride price seems to be more a tradition, where some sums are biggish most seem to be tokenism, 100,000bt...3 grand, seems to come up a bit.
    3 grand the hire of a hall and band in OZ for a reception!

    hardly a retirement fund for mum. Though will go a long way in LOS
    Mrs W has said we will do but first she must come and work and save she did not really wish me to pay, we will go 50/50 most likely.
    Also she has already said only give mum30 or 40k rest for face..her words.

    When ever we talk about money like this the heckles go up 55555
    Me too at the start, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing i know better with my girl but they are not all same same 555.
    .

  18. #18
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    Bride price! Do you want a cheap one or a designer one?
    Farangs love and money will be a must as a thread by itself.
    Bride price seems to be more a tradition, where some sums are biggish most seem to be tokenism, 100,000bt...3 grand, seems to come up a bit.
    3 grand the hire of a hall and band in OZ for a reception!

    hardly a retirement fund for mum. Though will go a long way in LOS
    Mrs W has said we will do but first she must come and work and save she did not really wish me to pay, we will go 50/50 most likely.
    Also she has already said only give mum30 or 40k rest for face..her words.

    When ever we talk about money like this the heckles go up 55555
    Me too at the start, a little knowledge is a dangerous thing i know better with my girl but they are not all same same 555.
    I know that with my GF has said that she would help with Sin Sot, if it came to that. I understand I am probably taking over the thread by talking about it here so will leave it at that for now.

  19. #19
    Mrs M.
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    I am only in a new Relationship with a TG and I am not thinking too much about Marriage just yet(although she is 555). I would like marry one day but still in the early stages so would like to get to know my GF a lot more before making that decision. What I do know is that I love my GF and that is the reason I am currently with her. I do find myself attracted to Asian Women (not just Thai) more then Western women but I always told myself I would not get involved with a long distance Relationship but I have this time because I am in Love with this girl. I talk to her daily for hours and have planned to get her a Visa to come to Australia with me in June.

    As for the Thai Culture, I am slowly learning it and understanding its ways. I have read Thailand Fever which was a great book to read for anyone involved with a Thai Person. That is only a basic outline of things to expect so I still have a lot to learn. As for the Sin Sot I understand some things about it. I understand the amount is to be discussed between partners and Familys and many things can determain the amount. I also understand that both have to make changes to the way of life. I have talked to my GF about our possible future together and think we both understand we need to learn a lot more about eachother and will both need to make "out own Culture" (Half Thai, Half Australian). I understand she is very close with her family and will require sending money home to take care of them when she is in Australia. The question I have is that after Sin Sot is paid does that mean sending money home every month will stop? I ask because the way you described it is that the Sin Sot as "It is not the price to buy your girl but it is gift that you give to the family to replace the girl. This is because she is the one who take care of the family, her parents but now you are going to take her away and what are they going to do without the money she give them every month"
    Hello G4orce,

    I think i like you 555, I enjoy reading your love story ^_^ and very happy for your GF that she seem to get her hands on a good man. You do alot of research, homework. etc.
    I can see the picture that you both could be happy together.

    We also have the book "Thailand fever". Its such a great book, very usufull.

    To answer about Sin Sot, Well its depend on you and your partner discussion. What you both think is best for you and the family. I heard that some people give the parent quite big money and thats all they prepare to give.

    Or you can give some amount of money for Sin Sot, no need to be BIG amount. Whats big amount? well I think everyone have different income, your big and our big could be different! 100.000 - 200.000 THB is big money for us ^_^. And then give some everymonth for the monthly expense or + what they need, such as when some one sick need to go to hospital, etc.

    What we did (Mr M and I) we gave some money to my parent, when we were getting married (we can call it Sin Sot, but I am not really a big fan of this word because i get married when I was nearly 31, which a bit slow haha, so lets call it a gift).

    And we still give money to my parent each month (+ birthday, newyear, visiting etc (just anything that we comfortable with), not alot but It make us feel good that we are doing our part.

    I have another 2 sisters which working in BKK, and they are also supporting the parent with nearly the same amouth of money every month.

    GoodLuck,>_<

  20. #20
    Mrs M.
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    Personally I dont understand why with Sin Sot that Falang have a different price to Thai men. Why should it be different? I can understand with Shopping as Tourism is a huge pack of the Income in Thailand. But getting marride is no longer a tourism thing or a way to make money but a way for 2 people to show their love for eachother. In saying this I do not disagree with the Sin Sot altogether but just the amount differences in amounts for Falangs and Thai Men
    Hi again,

    I understand the feeling that why FARANG have to pay more. In my opinion you are half right. There are some Thai men they give big Sin Sot too like alot of gold, and many millions THB. I think it have alot to do with FACE, if you know what I mean.

    For Farang if you think in positive way, its a compliment >_< the in laws they want to show off that their girl is getting maried to a Foreigner and give them a big Sin Sot. Thats what I hear from a friend from Sri sakes. And not all family like that. What you need to do it talk to your girl and if she understand, thats it.

    A good friend of mine married to an English. no offend...Her family is one of the most terrible people that I ever know. parent, brother..some of them...selfish. They want 1 millions for Sin Sot. And my friend said thats alot of money, her bf does not have that kind of money in hand, he got properties but still on mortgage, etc. they still complain...and say such a terible things to her like The neighbour's daughter maried a Farang and get alot of Sin sot, bah bah...give her alot of peasure until the wedding day, and the end they give them 300.000 THB if I am not wrong.

    and still going even now, more money more money. Good that the girl understand her husband and does not dance the song her parent wants her to do.

    The amount of Sin sot is depend on WHO? you are dealing with...what do you do when you want to buy something but not happy with the price, ask for better price, discount.,

    The End , GoodLuck!

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