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Thread: Sin Soht

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    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Sin Sot

    Just waned to get peoples opinions and facts on Sin Soht. I believe this is a highly debatable topic and people will have many different opinions. I only know bits and pieces about this and one day may have to come face to face with this factor of Thai Culture with my GF.

    I understand that this is the payment to the family by a Male when Marrying a TG. I understand that discussions between TG, Family and yourself will have to undergo to agree on an amount paid. I know many factors come into play with the wmount payable. These thing could be age, looks, past history (work,schooling), weather they have been married before, children and many other options.

    I also believe that there is a higher amount for falang then for a Thai man, which I do not agree with. As well as the more requested could be to allow you (the male) to show good face which is another way of Thai Culture. Talking about good face, the Sin Soht will normally be given in cash at the wedding so that everyone at the wedding will see how much money was givin for the Daughter, thus giving good face to the family and the Husband. Unlike in Western way of keeping your money to yourself the Thai people tend to talk about money openly to everyone and the more money the better face value you have in the village.

    Just my small insite to the Sin Soht and again I am not sure how correct i am so feel free to correcty me as well as add your own thoughts.
    Last edited by G4orce; 23rd February 2011 at 16:54. Reason: change of spelling to title

  2. #2
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Are you counting up what it'll be costing you G? Scary isn't it..555

    In my case it was a mixture of gold and cash, and yes it has to be something all the relations and guests at the wedding can see.
    Don't forget that all the guests will be giving cash donations to you both during the wedding, and behind the scenes everyone will make notes about how much was given/received in case there is another family wedding and the boot is on the other foot. During the ceremony, you will very likely dress your wife up in the gold part of it that will then end up going to mum.
    You may also be asked to foot the bill for the wedding reception as well.

    Everyone is different, but it may well go something like this;
    Your TG will give you a figure that mum has suggested, you then negotiate a figure you are comfortable with back with her via TG (Who will probably remain annoyingly neutral and won't give you any guidance...!). The mix of Cash/gold may then be altered in the scheme of things.

    OP Edit Note:
    May make it easier to see how an actual example worked if I state FTR, my wife is from Isaan, was never married before, no children, and had worked for a big multi national computer company in BKK for ten years before I met her.
    Last edited by Changone; 24th February 2011 at 13:49.
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

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    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    I am curious to know what i would be up for it I was to Marry my GF. I know atm I like the idea of being with this girl for the rest of my life, But I do not know her very well just yet so I want to take the time to get to know her before Weddings are on the plate. I know a couple figures have been mentioned but and that the mum saw another girl in the village get married to an 60+ year old who paid 1 Million Baht Sin Soht and bought the family and wife a car as well as a bar for the family to work at. I am just hoping she is not expecting that of me, a 25 year old saving for his first house.... But as i have said before the GF has said the mum is not all that interested in the money but moe to see her Daughter live a good life.

    I had no idea about the guest's giving money at the wedding bit. That is interesting to hear. Also thought this could be a good topic to discuss.

  4. #4
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    If you see offspring as your life's savings, sin soht makes sense.

    Consider that kids are a Thai's "superannuation policy", their one and only real financial support during the later years of your life and that can be a long time (Both of Mrs M's parents, themselves retired still need to send money every month to support their own parents.)

    Imagine here in the West that I came to you one day G and told you that I am in love with one third of your superannuation investment portfolio, the love is mutual and we need to be together, so that third of your savings is coming to live with me in a foreign country where you may never see it again.

    I won't be giving you anything to replace that third and I don't feel you should ask me to. As I will be placing that money in a portfolio where it will be secure and make a lot more interest and earnings than it does now. That should be enough for you - knowing that your money is secure, has better prospects and is in a better place.

    Would you just give me that third of your life's savings and expect nothing in return? Could you afford to? Would you risk it even if I promised to send a little bit of it home when you needed it? Or would you tell me to fcuk off unless I was prepared to match what I was taking out dollar for dollar with something else?

    Mrs M and I gave money to her family and I paid for the wedding reception and ceremony (120 guests, about $A2,000). The money given by the guests as wedding gifts was used to help pay for Mrs M's finacee visa.

    No gold or money was displayed at our ceremony, that custom is not universal and seems to be more common in rural areas.

    Enjoy
    Last edited by Minder; 23rd February 2011 at 16:53. Reason: Correction
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    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    That is a different way to look at it but I think it is very well said and makes sence in every-which-way

    Thanks for the that. I know my parents are asking questions about this and I think i will use this method to explain it to them.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post
    As I will be placing that money in a portfolio where it will be secure and make a lot more interest and earnings than it does now. That should be enough for you - knowing that your money is secure, has better prospects and is in a better place.
    You need to put a salesman's pitch to it...... I will take your hard earned investment and triple it within 3 years, giving you a return for the rest of your life of "x"... might even throw in a free set of steak knives...
    Oh G4.... I'll probably invite you to my wedding.... can you start saving for it now! 555

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    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    You need to put a salesman's pitch to it...... I will take your hard earned investment and triple it within 3 years, giving you a return for the rest of your life of "x"... might even throw in a free set of steak knives...
    Oh G4.... I'll probably invite you to my wedding.... can you start saving for it now! 555
    I will be there if my Nazi of a boss will give me the time off. I will start saving now.... put away a dollar a week 5555

  8. #8
    Frequent Flyer kaptainrob's Avatar
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    It's usually spelled Sin Sot or Sin Sod. [NB: Correct spelling in title bar will aid future searches, W may have to add sin, sot, & sod to search words]

    Stickman has extensive articles on the subject.

    All I will say is this: if I were to marry and reside in Thailand, I would NOT expect to pay Sin Sot for a former BG, or previously married TG. Contribution toward wedding costs, gifts for parents and show of 'money' (purely for face), certainly, but not a non-refundable lump sum payment.

    Sin Sot is generally considered archaic and doesn't factor with modern Thai families. It is 'trotted out' by Isaan TG's as a means to provide for their parents, after all, that's a function they must fulfil. In the case as above, I would expect to simply take care of the parents as and when necessary.

    For farangs taking a TG away from Thailand it becomes an individual decision, whether to pay or not, and this where a study of everything written will provide good insight.

    The Khon Kaen forum is an excellent source of actual true stories.
    Cheers, Rob.
    Lifes journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting: holy s.h.i.t what a ride!

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    Foundation Member Platinum Condo's Avatar
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    Its funny as we were having this discussion the other day and still havnt sorted it out.

    I've not paid Sin Sot yet.

    We are holding off returning to Thailand in the near future even though Nings mother would like us to come home as this is when I will be required to pay Sin Sot, You can see why we are not in a rush to get back

    Ning and I send her family 20,000 per month 9,000 of this is for a 300,000 bank loan for extensions to the house from before I met Ning.

    Now this is where the trouble begins. I think that if we pay out the loan over the next few years that should be my Sin Sot.

    If they dont except this I will just give them 300,000 now and they can pay their own loan out, and I will go back to 11,000 per month for family support.

    Ning thinks we should just keep paying loan, go back for holiday and just give 100,000 Sin Sot and all will be good.

    Somehow I think im being shafted but I guess this way we all save face, everyone loves me and I not cheap charlie but Im out of pocket about 400,000 all up.

    Note - Ning pays the 20,000 per month out of her own money and she's now the head waitress/cashier at her Farang owned Thai restaurant earning $600 per week so its not all doom and gloom

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Condo View Post
    Its funny as we were having this discussion the other day and still havnt sorted it out.

    I've not paid Sin Sot yet.

    We are holding off returning to Thailand in the near future even though Nings mother would like us to come home as this is when I will be required to pay Sin Sot, You can see why we are not in a rush to get back

    Ning and I send her family 20,000 per month 9,000 of this is for a 300,000 bank loan for extensions to the house from before I met Ning.

    Now this is where the trouble begins. I think that if we pay out the loan over the next few years that should be my Sin Sot.

    If they dont except this I will just give them 300,000 now and they can pay their own loan out, and I will go back to 11,000 per month for family support.

    Ning thinks we should just keep paying loan, go back for holiday and just give 100,000 Sin Sot and all will be good.

    Somehow I think im being shafted but I guess this way we all save face, everyone loves me and I not cheap charlie but Im out of pocket about 400,000 all up.

    Note - Ning pays the 20,000 per month out of her own money and she's now the head waitress/cashier at her Farang owned Thai restaurant earning $600 per week so its not all doom and gloom
    You are probably spot on with Ning's assessment as she will be in close contact with mum about every detail. At least that has been my experience so far.

    I must admit to having had the same feelings, similar to when you drive your new car off the lot for the first time?...555
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    I have to contend with Grandma... she's the one pushing our Sin Sod barrow

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Yeah, never forget that Grandma is who mum is talking to!...555

    I was asked recently about buying some village land for the wife and quickly discovered that all roads lead to Grandma.
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

  13. #13
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Grandma doesn't like me... she still has to ride in a 80's model Hilux, while the neighbors are in the latest model and building the new house compliments of some German Engineer BF

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    Foundation Member Platinum Condo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post
    You are probably spot on with Ning's assessment as she will be in close contact with mum about every detail. At least that has been my experience so far.

    I must admit to having had the same feelings, similar to when you drive your new car off the lot for the first time?...555
    I think your very correct and although I havnt pushed her fully on this, as things can change between now and when we return I would say that the deal has been done and I just have to accept it

    We will have to catch up for a beer in May as I will be back in Perth for that Expo again. May24th - 29th.

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Condo View Post
    Its funny as we were having this discussion the other day and still havnt sorted it out.

    I've not paid Sin Sot yet........

    Ning thinks we should just keep paying loan, go back for holiday and just give 100,000 Sin Sot and all will be good.

    Somehow I think im being shafted but I guess this way we all save face, everyone loves me and I not cheap charlie but Im out of pocket about 400,000 all up.

    Note - Ning pays the 20,000 per month out of her own money and she's now the head waitress/cashier at her Farang owned Thai restaurant earning $600 per week so its not all doom and gloom
    Sorry but shafted seems over the top to me since Ning is paying the lion's share of her own sin soht AND the monthly support to her family.......well, actually shafted might be the right term if Ning was the one using it *Cha Ching*

    You might hand over 100k but figure that leaves you 400k out of pocket all up......this Expo you are coming to Perth for, I now suspect it is some sort of government finance meeting yes?

    Enjoy
    40 is the old age of youth;
    50 is the youth of old age.
    ~Victor Hugo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2xJAsr2vO8&NR=1

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Condo,
    I do see your point, but believe me, you are so blessed, to have such a woman.

    I only met you two twice, but I am very good at reading people, have done all my life.

    You are the perfect fit for each other.

    Ning will do right by you and her, as a couple, but will find a way to still keep face for her family, her, and you.

    You, more than any of us, know this. Keep the faith with your briliant wife.

    I hear babies may be on the way??? Even better sin sout for her parents ... ?? 5555555

  17. #17
    Foundation Member Platinum Condo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post
    Sorry but shafted seems over the top to me since Ning is paying the lion's share of her own sin soht AND the monthly support to her family.......well, actually shafted might be the right term if Ning was the one using it *Cha Ching*

    You might hand over 100k but figure that leaves you 400k out of pocket all up......this Expo you are coming to Perth for, I now suspect it is some sort of government finance meeting yes?

    Enjoy
    Yes Minder government finance meeting

    But if you and Mrs M are in town and would like some free tickets and to catch up for a beer it can easily be arranged

    Ning has been working for her restaurant now for 18 months. Started off as about 20 hours in the evenings as a waitress, then progressed to lunches as well. She then moved to the cash register, taking phone orders, and waitressing. Her english is getting really good.

    One thing she says with a full Aussie accent which cracks me up every time she says it is "Come on Mate" when she thinks I am bull****ting her.

  18. #18
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Condo View Post
    Yes Minder government finance meeting

    But if you and Mrs M are in town and would like some free tickets and to catch up for a beer it can easily be arranged

    Ning has been working for her restaurant now for 18 months. Started off as about 20 hours in the evenings as a waitress, then progressed to lunches as well. She then moved to the cash register, taking phone orders, and waitressing. Her english is getting really good.

    One thing she says with a full Aussie accent which cracks me up every time she says it is "Come on Mate" when she thinks I am bull****ting her.
    Classic....555

    One of Mrs M's aunts works for an Aussie in Bangkok, has done so for years, some kind of businessman ... her perfect Aussie pitch is "are you okay?" which is delivered strine fashion as one word "U-oak-aie?"

    Well, I thought since the Perth Convention and Exhibition Centre is just down the road from Parliament house they'd usually get a good turn out of Government types at those educational expos.

    And since Mrs M and I live in Perth - a beer and a catch-up will be one of the conditions I will see is placed on your entry visa. More details to be sorted out via PM.

    The line that sweet little Mrs M has down pat and is delivered to me dead-pan whenever I am being a little unpleasant to her is "Fcuk you, assss hole"

    Enjoy
    40 is the old age of youth;
    50 is the youth of old age.
    ~Victor Hugo

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2xJAsr2vO8&NR=1

  19. #19
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post

    The line that sweet little Mrs M has down pat and is delivered to me dead-pan whenever I am being a little unpleasant to her is "Fcuk you, assss hole"
    We have about 1/2 a dozen guys working for us, and when ever Thip comes in she gives the old "Howz it gowin Mate" with the biggest smile on her face

  20. #20
    The artist formally known as Wabbits
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    Mrs W asked me id it was ok to say this to my dad a i had been teaching her some Oz slang.
    In a high Oz twang...."How the fcuk are ya mate" he nearly fell off his chair....i was rolling around, priceless.
    .

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