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Thread: Spoiling a Thai girl

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    Guest Platinum daohoshi Dao's Avatar
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    Spoiling a Thai girl

    Just wonder you thoughts about spoiling a Thai girl with Too much money at once or to always be a white night. When is it OK to say no for a farang.

    Why is it not easy to say no. They think the only connection is money and if say no they loose them????? Go into debt because can not say no and plan for the future.

    Makes some very lazy and spoilt then ask me why she not stop spending money? I tell the man you not learn to say no. No or I do not have money for this choice or we need to plan for this is all acceptable answers but do not want to say "NO".


    For a man to me this is weak of character. Example, my husband is generous but says no easy but always explain why. You want sins sot. Ok buy something that makes money or we do not have a plan together for life because this is what life will be like.

    If only the money he walk away sure. Not want to make a culture together for cash cows (Buffalo 555)
    yung rai kwa suea

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    There are a lot of reasons why so many farang men use money as a way of spoiling a Thai girl.

    One reason I think is because a lot of them start in the bar scene where money is the only thing that matters, so they end up with a distorted view of Thai women.

    Another big reason I think is the cultural divide. There are a lot of ways to keep a woman interested in you, but if you don't understand her properly and where she comes from then you're not always going to have a deep connection like you would with your own people. You can of course click on a lot of levels, but I just can't see how it could be the same as someone who's language and culture and values you share.

    And from what I've heard and seen, a lot of Thai families aren't always open to farang men and don't accept them easily. A lot of men can sense this and usually see money as a way of getting themselves liked and accepted more.

    These are just some of my observations. I'm not sure if I'm right or not.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Nomad's Avatar
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    Perhaps it is partly because, in theory, a western marriage is meant to be a marriage of equals...equal partners in life. Thus, it is not "his money" or "her money" to control or decide, but "our money". Whereas saying "no" is like it is "my decision", rather than "our decision". Obviously, there are many variations in relationships, but perhaps the western "equal partners" concept is one source of the problem, that may carry over into some TG relationships. Although the financial pain of divorce should cure that for many.

    It must be very hard for some guys...they are looked upon as a rich farang, yet don't have the financial means to provide support. Many people try to live up to other people's expectations (peer and social pressure), and some would rather go into debt than have their ego dented. I remember explaining to a TG when she stopped receiving support when her boyfriend divorced...he had 3 young kids...I told her that even if he had a high paying job, after giving money to his ex wife and child support, paying taxes, and living expenses in Australia, there would not be much left. A very simplistic explanation was if he was earning $100, paying $30 tax to the government, paying $45 to the ex wife, he only has $25 left for himself. So, after high Australian living costs, there wouldn't be much to send to her.
    Last edited by Nomad; 21st October 2013 at 21:30.
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    Many things mentioned.. Maybe some of the simplest reasons overlooked..

    When in love.. You just like the person you are in love with! In any way you can.. Attention, gestures, making the one you're with feel good! Spoil to the max.. Not to prove anything, but just because it makes you both feel good! (I am not the only one who feels like this, am I?)..

    And the second reason.. Because it is so cheap.. Not in the long run, but at first for Falang feels so cheap that you can do anything you want.. The reference is prices where you come from.. Which are much higher.. So anything you spent in Thailand, feels like a bargain.. Of course it add up.. But it just feels cheap and easy to do..

    And similar, but not same.. To start of with, falang come to Thailand as tourist.. And none of us likes to be too aware of money when on holiday.. That comes later when we get back home.. Part of the joy of holidays, is just to let go and not think tooo much about the things that worry us back home.. Most of us will go over our budgets.. and regret that later..555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน 1080's Avatar
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    I think its OK to say NO when you know that the girl is taking the piss, like when they are sitting in the Salon getting their hair washed and demand an I phone for their 13 year old daughter after spoiling them for 3 months in your own country 555

    There is going to be a lot less spoiling of TGs done by me in the future.

    Good post RakThai

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    mine is a bit different
    i definitely spoiled my wife, but not in the traditional Thai farang way. No house, car or big support for her family.
    but i spoiled her in a way i would any western girl i have before
    buying her high end clothing, shoes, bags
    i also introduced her to a higher end lifestyle
    she probably would have preferred the house/car/support but since her cirumstances didn't warrant those things, i saw no need to provide them

    but, i've had a rough last two years, i still make good money but this year i only made 40% of what i did 2 years ago
    so it has been more an adjustment of lifestyle "no's" now
    we can't just fly down to LA for 3 days, drop the dog off at the doggie hotel without budgeting for it
    but she is fine with the lower key lifestyle but it has been an adjustment...to be honest it was always me pushing our lifestyle


    as for farang's not being able to say no. well, it is obviously an insecurity issue. they feel or know the girl is only with them for money, so they are afraid to say no
    some of the support/cars/houses i see these girls get from everyday blue collar guys has me doing the math in my head thinking these guys must be eating ramen noodles every night to sacrifice!

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 1080 View Post
    I think its OK to say NO when you know that the girl is taking the piss, like when they are sitting in the Salon getting their hair washed and demand an I phone for their 13 year old daughter after spoiling them for 3 months in your own country 555

    There is going to be a lot less spoiling of TGs done by me in the future.

    Good post RakThai
    and job well done
    that was a piss take and a half and you held your ground

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    เมืองเชียงราย Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Rivo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    mine is a bit different!

    Your saying your TG is different Marc, lucky your allowed to say that on here 555
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    เมืองเชียงราย Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Rivo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    but, i've had a rough last two years, i still make good money but this year i only made 40% of what i did 2 years ago
    so it has been more an adjustment of lifestyle "no's" now
    we can't just fly down to LA for 3 days, drop the dog off at the doggie hotel without budgeting for it
    but she is fine with the lower key lifestyle but it has been an adjustment...to be honest it was always me pushing our lifestyle

    Was your wife working 2 years ago in Canada Marc ?


    40% drop in earning is a fair wack, whats changed to reduce your income, I read somewhere you finish work each day at 130pm, can you work a bit more to make up the difference or are you happy with the extra time off ?
    A Wise Man Once Said "Nothing"

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    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rivo View Post
    Was your wife working 2 years ago in Canada Marc ?


    40% drop in earning is a fair wack, whats changed to reduce your income, I read somewhere you finish work each day at 130pm, can you work a bit more to make up the difference or are you happy with the extra time off ?
    I think he works the opening hours of the NYSE, which closes 1.30pm Vancouver time. He is up early though...
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rivo View Post
    Your saying your TG is different Marc, lucky your allowed to say that on here 555
    ha
    i meant my spoiling, not the girl 555

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rivo View Post
    Was your wife working 2 years ago in Canada Marc ?


    40% drop in earning is a fair wack, whats changed to reduce your income, I read somewhere you finish work each day at 130pm, can you work a bit more to make up the difference or are you happy with the extra time off ?
    no, my wife wasn't working and at about 60k cash/mo, that isn't bad but i only have her split what we send to her mom each month and for the 1st time, she helped with her son's tuition this time around. she also takes care of all her expenses, phone, food
    i will say, she wasn't that pleased that she had to help with the tuition and we had to have a serious talk

    the market has fallen off, in terms of volume and that is how i get paid

    but yes, i can work harder looking for new customers, we absolutely got complacent when we were going gang busters
    so instead of adding 20 new customers while things were good, we got complacent

    so although work is officially done at 1pm, there is a lot more work i can/am doing to bring in new clients
    Last edited by MarcTwoSix; 22nd October 2013 at 11:24.

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    Quote Originally Posted by daohoshi Dao View Post
    Just wonder you thoughts about spoiling a Thai girl with Too much money at once or to always be a white night. When is it OK to say no for a farang.

    Why is it not easy to say no. They think the only connection is money and if say no they loose them????? Go into debt because can not say no and plan for the future.

    Makes some very lazy and spoilt then ask me why she not stop spending money? I tell the man you not learn to say no. No or I do not have money for this choice or we need to plan for this is all acceptable answers but do not want to say "NO".


    For a man to me this is weak of character. Example, my husband is generous but says no easy but always explain why. You want sins sot. Ok buy something that makes money or we do not have a plan together for life because this is what life will be like.

    If only the money he walk away sure. Not want to make a culture together for cash cows (Buffalo 555)
    It is an interesting question, Dao, but one with many answers. Yes, a lot of us like to act like the White Knight and rescue the damsel in distress. That is how we were raised, and that men were to protect the weak little woman. It also makes a man feel strong and "manly". Unfortunately, it causes as many problems as it solves. Anything given too freely is not valued as much by the receiver, and they just expect more of the same. It's been my experiene that many women actually seek out the macho "bad guy" for short time relationships, but they want to settle down with men of some wealth whether he is attractive or not.

    I also think there is a LOT of misunderstanding between cultures about how much wealth there actually is. By many Thai standards, western men are wealthy. But, the Thai country girls just don't see the whole picture and don't realize there is a limit to the amount of actual wealth.

    Nobody wants to be treated like a stupid sucker, but that is what happens in many cases where men misjudge the Thai women. Many western men come to Thailand when they have had problems with women back home. Many are divorced or in the process of being divorced. They are astounded (as I was) when they see so many young attractive Thai women who are seemingly available. But, a lot of it is an illusion and part of the party bar scene. The pretty girls get lots of attention and get high on the excitement of it all. They think they can ask for and get anything they want, and some actually do find wealthy suckers willing to give them what they ask for. The girls see the few lucky ones and hope for a big score for themselves. It is just like buying lottery tickets. Both the men and the women think it will never change, but it does.

    I don't think that the men are weak, but they just don't understand the whole picture and the games being played.

    As for myself I do know the games that are being played and it doesn't bother me. I'm actually amused by it all. But, that doesn't stop me from helping a few of the women. I try to pick out women who can actually help themselves by working hard. Not all women working in the Thai bar scene are bad women. In fact only a few of them are. Most just want a better living and a little bit of fun once in a while. i see nothing wrong with that. Westerners have been fed a bunch of Christian puritanical BS ever since we were children. I see nothing wrong with sex so long as both parties understand the whole situation.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Spot's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by daohoshi Dao View Post
    Just wonder you thoughts about spoiling a Thai girl with Too much money at once or to always be a white night. When is it OK to say no for a farang.

    Why is it not easy to say no. They think the only connection is money and if say no they loose them????? Go into debt because can not say no and plan for the future.

    Makes some very lazy and spoilt then ask me why she not stop spending money? I tell the man you not learn to say no. No or I do not have money for this choice or we need to plan for this is all acceptable answers but do not want to say "NO".


    For a man to me this is weak of character. Example, my husband is generous but says no easy but always explain why. You want sins sot. Ok buy something that makes money or we do not have a plan together for life because this is what life will be like.

    If only the money he walk away sure. Not want to make a culture together for cash cows (Buffalo 555)
    Very timely post Nong Dao, And i think it is cause for much stress for S...

    She knows I am not ATM but family still think I am and want me to give them loans... Not Yai!

    Everything is getting tough for farmers in Isaan Now. So they think I am good to save them and ask for loan... I tell them No I cannot... S not want to talk and explain but I see closer come to time for her to come here for 6 months more presure and ask for more money... How to Balance Face and reality... I want to sit and talk with Yai, but I cannot afford ATM.... Yai Knows i am working hard for 2 families....

    I joke with Yai she says through Mook when I can come back to ban norn Muang? I tell her through Mook that I cannot come back until I save for Sin soht for S.... Yai says... Laughing... money cannot buy love she not want Sin Soht just take care her grandaughter and great Grandaughter. But other family members still see me as Farang millionaire. And it is balancing act. Cousin Nayun says not hire car to go tour Thailand hire him...So to take care of family... I want freedom of hire and drive myself and not pay for extra person when I do tourist things... Where is the middle ground? there isn't any...
    Ohhhh, Pigsy! You call yourself a demon? จูบก้นของฉัน Everything I post here is IMHO and IME... I am no expert....

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Spot;109179]Very timely post Nong Dao, And i think it is cause for much stress for S...

    She knows I am not ATM but family still think I am and want me to give them loans... Not Yai!

    Everything is getting tough for farmers in Isaan Now. So they think I am good to save them and ask for loan... I tell them No I cannot... S not want to talk and explain but I see closer come to time for her to come here for 6 months more presure and ask for more money... How to Balance Face and reality... I want to sit and talk with Yai, but I cannot afford ATM.... Yai Knows i am working hard for 2 families....

    I joke with Yai she says through Mook when I can come back to ban norn Muang? I tell her through Mook that I cannot come back until I save for Sin soht for S.... Yai says... Laughing... money cannot buy love she not want Sin Soht just take care her grandaughter and great Grandaughter. But other family members still see me as Farang millionaire. And it is balancing act. Cousin Nayun says not hire car to go tour Thailand hire him...So to take care of family... I want freedom of hire and drive myself and not pay for extra person when I do tourist things... Where is the middle ground? there isn't any...[/QUOTE



    Spot... I love ya me china plate. Set some rules or walk........ Be prepared to lose her!!!!!!! If the family wants are too many and "S" does not rationalise for both of you ... walk because this will be your life for ever chasing a dogs tail.

    I feel a confidence ...spot that you will take that in the correct way! Not a criticism but an observation with the best intentions.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Nubbins's Avatar
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    Spot... I love ya me china plate. Set some rules or walk........ Be prepared to lose her!!!!!!! If the family wants are too many and "S" does not rationalise for both of you ... walk because this will be your life for ever chasing a dogs tail.

    I feel a confidence ...spot that you will take that in the correct way! Not a criticism but an observation with the best intentions.
    I'm inclined to agree. The girl and her family needs should not be so great that they will bankrupt you. If you are clear in your communication with S and she knows you cannot reasonably pay for all the family demands, then she should be taking action with the family to make them back off.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    "Everything is getting tough for farmers in Issan Now" Spot.

    China, things have gotten tough there long before you or I ever ventured to LOS.
    They have survived, worked it out, year in year out.
    The fact you are involved with S doesn't change their business plan, didn't bring on locust plagues etc.
    You are being seen as an easy way out/easy mark, because of all those that have gone before you.
    You need to talk plain with S and get some balance where she runs defense for you.
    Explain that if you lend mony to family there is no money for you and her.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    Spot...you got it bad mate....you are speaking english like its Thai 555

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Spot View Post
    Very timely post Nong Dao, And i think it is cause for much stress for S...

    She knows I am not ATM but family still think I am and want me to give them loans... Not Yai!

    Everything is getting tough for farmers in Isaan Now. So they think I am good to save them and ask for loan... I tell them No I cannot... S not want to talk and explain but I see closer come to time for her to come here for 6 months more presure and ask for more money... How to Balance Face and reality... I want to sit and talk with Yai, but I cannot afford ATM.... Yai Knows i am working hard for 2 families....

    I joke with Yai she says through Mook when I can come back to ban norn Muang? I tell her through Mook that I cannot come back until I save for Sin soht for S.... Yai says... Laughing... money cannot buy love she not want Sin Soht just take care her grandaughter and great Grandaughter. But other family members still see me as Farang millionaire. And it is balancing act. Cousin Nayun says not hire car to go tour Thailand hire him...So to take care of family... I want freedom of hire and drive myself and not pay for extra person when I do tourist things... Where is the middle ground? there isn't any...
    the middle ground is you saying no until you are comfortable to say yes

    and wouldn't face come into play to say the family is making your gf lose face by putting undue pressure on her?
    i always here face thrown around, but are the thai families not subject to it also?

    or does face only work one way?

    face to me is taking care of the essentials
    schooling, health insurance, books, things that actually provide for the family
    your gf is not losing face because she refuses non-essential requests

  20. #20
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    Spoil your girl i have, but no more than if she was aussie, im not the type of guy to pay a TGF an allowance or donate to her familys needs, seems to me lot of guys don't have a criteria in what there actually searching for so end up with a bar worker or village girl seduced by there availability and beauty.

    I think in a lot of case's guys are just plain dumb with a few controllers thrown in, the power of the $ to buy what you want.

    I don't date bar girls or village girls in fact if they haven't been to university im not interested, ive had 3 TGF's first was a Journalist second and third were Accountants, only the last was a handful, demanding and sometime bit of a Ting Tong and why? she was a smart village girl who put herself through uni (Masters Degree) and was to young for me and i knew it, she was persistent and would not allow the relationship to die a natural death, lucky im the man i am because that girl could never be satisfied and im afraid to say there are a lot like that.

    I think a lot of guys are emotional immature which clouds there judgment as well as inexperienced with women in general, relationships start and end all the time so why do you think that pretty 20 something will still be with you in 10 years time? Especially when there's a 30 year gap and cultural difference.

    You wont find a "good Thai girl" in a bar anywhere, "good Thai girls" dont go clubbing in red light districts, "good Thai girls" often socialize in groups and stay within the area they live preferring to hang out at malls markets and local restaurants/bars, if you would like to meet a "good Thai girl" and dont work in Thailand then the next best place is on the net, to minimize your chances of being an ATM for your loved one choose wisely, use the head on your shoulders not the little one down below, my theory is if there well educated and working only a 5 day week then there is a good chance there earning a decent income which means less pressure on the chosen love of her life to not only support her but her family.

    One thing i have noticed with dating a Thai girl is that most are independent in most areas of there lives but ho how that changes once that have a farang bf, second Thai gf thought i should buy her a car when i talked about buying a condo in Jomtien so she could drive down on weekends, when i offerd to pay the depost for her she wined about the interest she would pay on her loan....hmmmm.
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