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Thread: Your Thai wife / Girl friend and her kids

  1. #21
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post

    But he'd certainly have the pictures for proof 555
    The one of the first day she moved in with all her belongings spewed everywhere from wall to wall ?? i would use that one, surely the immigration case officer would just feel sorry for Ian and give the visa a pass straight away ....555555555
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

  2. #22
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    The one of the first day she moved in with all her belongings spewed everywhere from wall to wall ?? i would use that one, surely the immigration case officer would just feel sorry for Ian and give the visa a pass straight away ....555555555
    A little bit off topic and I may have told this before.
    When Ao went for her US Visa interview at the US Consulate in Vancouver, her male officer was obviously a fan of Thailand
    He started speaking to her in Thai
    But Ao told me his Thai sucked and she couldn't understand him so she asked him to conduct the interview in English 555

    Poor guy has the visa power but just like one us 555

  3. #23
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    Good one, Sydney. 555555555555555

    I understand what Marc is saying, but there seems to be a lot of double standards. Who really cares if a few Asians overstay their visa. The Canadian govrnment have allowed all sorts if immigrants into Canada who have been ANYTHING but model citizens. The illegal immigrant still has to find someway to earn a living. That usually means hard work that most Canadians don't want to do. We support a HUGE number of Canadians who have no intention of ever working. I would be happy to replace them with the few illegals that do. And, if a sponsor like myself is willing to take the risk then let if fall on his shoulders to carry the burden. I could go on and on with examples, but I do see both sides of the situation.

  4. #24
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    Good one, Sydney. 555555555555555

    I understand what Marc is saying, but there seems to be a lot of double standards. Who really cares if a few Asians overstay their visa. The Canadian govrnment have allowed all sorts if immigrants into Canada who have been ANYTHING but model citizens. The illegal immigrant still has to find someway to earn a living. That usually means hard work that most Canadians don't want to do. We support a HUGE number of Canadians who have no intention of ever working. I would be happy to replace them with the few illegals that do. And, if a sponsor like myself is willing to take the risk then let if fall on his shoulders to carry the burden. I could go on and on with examples, but I do see both sides of the situation.
    Hey, i've been on the wrong side of visa rejections and know the frustration
    Hell, i got my own coming up in 2 1/2 months time and i don't take that for granted!
    But it is a process and I have seen enough people not respect the process and flaunt the rules that I feel they are just
    I don't think you can say if "a sponsor like myself is willing to take the risk" is fair because your risk is limited and there is just WAY TOO MANY examples of guys wanting to bring girls they barely know over, and that is where the risk for the system comes into place
    Hell, if it were easy enough, i guarantee you would have already tried with some flings, and those are what they are trying to weed out, because the flings don't have any attachment and will fcuk off and overstay

  5. #25
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    Fair enough, Marc, but I've seen far too many of the wrong immigrants get a free pass and we can't seem to get rid of them afterwards.

    And besides, I think if we replaced all our Canadian politicians with so called "Thai prostitutes" then we would be a whole lot better off. 5555

  6. #26
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    Fair enough, Marc, but I've seen far too many of the wrong immigrants get a free pass and we can't seem to get rid of them afterwards.

    And besides, I think if we replaced all our Canadian politicians with so called "Thai prostitutes" then we would be a whole lot better off. 5555
    You can also look at the other side
    I am happy they are strict because if the relationship is legit they offer so much more than their own countries do.
    My wife can work any job she wants, has health insurance, also has a 10yr US visa to come and go as she pleases
    Things i cant get in her country

  7. #27
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    Good one, Sydney. 555555555555555

    I understand what Marc is saying, but there seems to be a lot of double standards. Who really cares if a few Asians overstay their visa. The Canadian govrnment have allowed all sorts if immigrants into Canada who have been ANYTHING but model citizens. The illegal immigrant still has to find someway to earn a living. That usually means hard work that most Canadians don't want to do. We support a HUGE number of Canadians who have no intention of ever working. I would be happy to replace them with the few illegals that do. And, if a sponsor like myself is willing to take the risk then let if fall on his shoulders to carry the burden. I could go on and on with examples, but I do see both sides of the situation.

    I guess Immi in any country does not assume a BG or MG will do any other "hard work" if she goes off the database ...

    Demonstrating compelling reasons to return home is a key factor in any visa in most "tourist cases" if not of significant independent means.

    Has she taken over your flat permanently - are you sponsoring now? 555!

    Sounds to me like a new phase in your life - chok dee.

  8. #28
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    Kind of like that, Zab, and I'm enjoying the change. Pui still works and does quite well but we do share. I cover the cost of the appartment and most other bills, but I would do that anyway if I was single... which technically I am. I just don't think I'm ready for a proper marriage. I've seen too many go off the rails a short time later.

  9. #29
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    Ozzy i am the same as you, as in not wanting more kids as in babies..... step kids maybe depending on age etc...

    I did get lucky with my Wife, she was 24 when i meet her has hasn.t wanted kids from the start, and now at 30 she is even more adamant she doesnt want kids,,, phewwwwww ..555. as this was something i didnt consider close enough when i was looking at the idea of having a thai wife...

    Why doenst she want a kid? she feels she has already raised one having looked after her younger sisters practically from birth to age 5......

    Thank you young sister...555

    But to anyone looking at getting involved with a tg lomg term, talk about and dicuss this important aspect of the relationship so you know what you could be in for.... a crucial mistake i made that very luckily didnt cost me
    This is a very sensible post , and rarely considered by those older guys hitching up with young ladies ...older guys who often have raised a family already , as I had ( 4 kids).
    I was never quite convinced by my Thai ex-gf that she was ok about going thru life without having children - pretty much a neccessity if staying with me , as I'd had the snip straight after my 4th child was born...555
    She was 25 ( me 50 ) and the kid question , plus other stuff like her moods , saw us finish up.

    So I ended up with an 36 year old , with an 18 year old daughter.
    All would have went as predicted with this lady , except the daughter ended up having a baby before the age of 19.
    That baby arrived in our house at the age of 2.
    I like kids , but I was also against any more 'baby babies'.
    2 was actually a good age to arrive. I got the cold shoulder for about 6 months , but now shes my little mate , and goes everywhere with me. Shes a happy , well adjusted and bright little kid.

    So anyway , here I am being a Dad again , but it suits me fine.

  10. #30
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    Good post, Chob. I saw the same thing to a good mate of mine with his granddaughter by marriage. Little Yim is 2 and a half, and smart as a whip. She stole Mike's heart and it is reciprical. She crawls into Mike's lap to sleep.

  11. #31
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for your posts,

    I am starting to relies that my change of mind in wanting a lady without kids to one with a child is a good decision. I feel she will be a lot happier as life goes on.

    This all came about when I met a TG that I like a lot but the only thing that bothered me was she has a 6 year old son. As most hear we have had lots of girls over the years but sometimes you find a keeper.

  12. #32
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chob View Post

    So anyway , here I am being a Dad again , but it suits me fine.

    Would you say being a Dad this time Chob has being a lot more enjoyable ? I know you can't really compare, as things are so different... only 1 kid v 4 kids ... retired and not stressing re money mortgage clothes food etc

    But everything i read about older Dads going through it again, but with more time on there hands seems positive, and an enjoyable experience, more so than the first time round..
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

  13. #33
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    ^ Oh definitely.
    As you say , Im not rushing off to work and renovating in my spare time ... so I can simply stop what Im doing when the baby wants to play or requires attention. Im old enough to know now that some things turn out to be little experiences of magic that are never repeated - stuff like a first bike ride or reading their very first word - and I'd rather be there for it than busy doing something 'else' as mundane as washing the car.
    Dont get me wrong , the first time around was fun but so frenetic ... this time its sort of, "Ahhh ...let me finish my coffee Bubs , then we'll go downstairs and we'll throw that ball around till your tired of it ..."

    One thing I have noticed , is this very high level of respect she offers up.
    My old home was full of yelling and challenges of the rules , but here on the rare occasion I raise my voice theres immediate silence .
    Immediate deference.
    I dont know if its somehow part of their genetic make up or what it is , but if I intervene in Granma and babies fights with a "Paw Laeow!" ( Enough Already!) , there is immediate silence , and I have 2 naughty girls suddenly whispering to each other and staying out of the way.
    Thats a nice change. 555

  14. #34
    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    ^ plenty of time for that to change old matey!.....555

    I hope I'm around to read the teenage years 555

  15. #35
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    Yes , a girl in her teenage years is an entirely different beast!

  16. #36
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chob View Post
    Yes , a girl in her teenage years is an entirely different beast!
    But if you can maintain the respect, you are at least in with a fighting chance
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

  17. #37
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    One thing I have noticed , is this very high level of respect she offers up.
    My old home was full of yelling and challenges of the rules , but here on the rare occasion I raise my voice theres immediate silence .
    Immediate deference.
    I dont know if its somehow part of their genetic make up or what it is , but if I intervene in Granma and babies fights with a "Paw Laeow!" ( Enough Already!) , there is immediate silence , and I have 2 naughty girls suddenly whispering to each other and staying out of the way.
    I can really relate to that, Chob.

    When my kids were small I never had to raise my voice. I could stop them in their tracks with a stern look, or just a slight raising in tone. They knew I meant business. By contrast, my wife was always shrieking at them and they totally ignore her until the decible level got to a point where they knew her breaking point. And, only once did I ever hit my son, and it was more to impress his mother and sister than to stop him from whatever he was supposed to have done. And, it was only slaps on his wrist. It had its desired affect and I never had to strike him again.

    By contrast, I regularly got spankings from my father with a spring steel strap across my buttocks. I just ignored the pain and went right back doing whatever it was that I had gotten spanked for. It wasn't until I was an adult that I realized it was simply a case of being ignored by my father, and the only time I got attention was when I was getting spanked for something. To me, getting spanked was better than being ignored. It is the same thing with dogs. They will intentionally do something wrong just to get your attention.
    Last edited by Ian Forbes; 23rd March 2014 at 14:01.

  18. #38
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    But if you can maintain the respect, you are at least in with a fighting chance
    Yes , better to have control of your kids from an early age than trying to fight them for it when they are 14 and have had little.
    Still , I think we'd all agree that a cultural marker for Thais is their remarkable respect for their elders ... I never yell at the 4 year old , like IF says , a serious look or a talking to with a harder than normal tone does the trick ( so far ).
    All of NEs siblings and nieces cherish old Tuat ( g/gmother).

  19. #39
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    Too true, Chob. Get their love and respect at an early age and you will have it forever. You will be constantly tested, but as long as you are consistent and fair it will all work out well. Of course, each child is an individual with their own, built in personality. You have to adjust your love and discipline to the child's needs. And, as I mentioned before, discipline does not mean hitting a child. From my experience, the only time a child should be hit is when they are young and about to do something dangerous... such as putting their hand on the stove. And, even then it should only be a quick slap on the wrist... just to get their attention.

  20. #40
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    Too true, Chob. Get their love and respect at an early age and you will have it forever. You will be constantly tested, but as long as you are consistent and fair it will all work out well. Of course, each child is an individual with their own, built in personality. You have to adjust your love and discipline to the child's needs. And, as I mentioned before, discipline does not mean hitting a child. From my experience, the only time a child should be hit is when they are young and about to do something dangerous... such as putting their hand on the stove. And, even then it should only be a quick slap on the wrist... just to get their attention.
    as you said, it is all about discipline
    my sister's 2 kids are fantastic kids but she doesn't demand anything from them, so the take advantage of it
    but when i am home all i have to do is tell them to do it, and they do it
    they know they aren't going to get away with stuff with me that they do with my sister

    i mean, they will eat and get up to leave the table without taking their plate away, because she will do it. or they will sit there and watch her carry a big hamper of clothes and not move
    but i just give them a look or tell them to get up and help their mom, or get back and clean their plate and they do

    we didn't have a dad around since he passed early but my mom still had our respect because she demanded it
    she'd drive up to the house with groceries and just honk the horn, we knew we had to go down to carry the bags

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