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Thread: Your Thai wife / Girl friend and her kids

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    Your Thai wife / Girl friend and her kids

    I always thought if I marry again it would be with a lady with no kids. However as I like girls in 30's most have a child or want one. I dont want anymore myself I have 3 and I have brought up 2 step children before and still very close to them as if they were mine. I do love kids and would be happy bringing up someones child again just dont want to go through the baby thing again.

    Bringing up someone eles children can be challanging and if from another culture I would expect even more so.

    One the other hand if you married a lady without children and you didnt want children yourself would she resent you or lead a life thinking she wanted a child ?

    I would be interested to see how others went with both her kids or having no kids. How did the kids adapt to western world and what if the child couldnt speak english at first.

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Ozzy i am the same as you, as in not wanting more kids as in babies..... step kids maybe depending on age etc...

    I did get lucky with my Wife, she was 24 when i meet her has hasn.t wanted kids from the start, and now at 30 she is even more adamant she doesnt want kids,,, phewwwwww ..555. as this was something i didnt consider close enough when i was looking at the idea of having a thai wife...

    Why doenst she want a kid? she feels she has already raised one having looked after her younger sisters practically from birth to age 5......

    Thank you young sister...555

    But to anyone looking at getting involved with a tg lomg term, talk about and dicuss this important aspect of the relationship so you know what you could be in for.... a crucial mistake i made that very luckily didnt cost me
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Star Dazza's Avatar
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    Your Thai wife / Girl friend and her kids

    My missus was 25 when we met and talked about kids, her only brother has none and her mum and dad have hinted about grandchildren. She is now 31 and is engrossed in her work, most of her colleagues that are very successful have no children, so she is not that fussed about having children now, plus I'm not sure if I could handle another child at my age!


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    Last edited by Dazza; 17th March 2014 at 20:41.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    But you're never really sure....Are you...........

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    RIP Cilla (Craig) Platinum Cilla's Avatar
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    I suppose I am lucky as all my kids are grown with their own lives. My missus is 33yo and has a daughter 10yo so no babies, 555. We have had the talk about that and "for the moment" she doesn't want any more. But as we all know women are notorious for changing their mind but myself I have done it all before and as Sydney said " stepchild ok but no babies at our age".

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Arliss Michaels's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sydney View Post
    Ozzy i am the same as you, as in not wanting more kids as in babies..... step kids maybe depending on age etc...

    I did get lucky with my Wife, she was 24 when i meet her has hasn.t wanted kids from the start, and now at 30 she is even more adamant she doesnt want kids,,, phewwwwww ..555. as this was something i didnt consider close enough when i was looking at the idea of having a thai wife...

    Why doenst she want a kid? she feels she has already raised one having looked after her younger sisters practically from birth to age 5......

    Thank you young sister...555

    But to anyone looking at getting involved with a tg lomg term, talk about and dicuss this important aspect of the relationship so you know what you could be in for.... a crucial mistake i made that very luckily didnt cost me
    So Sydney whats your feeling or reaction to the hypothetical, that a pregnancy slips through, or have you nipped & tuck that hypothetical in the bud ?
    The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน jontymate's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post
    But you're never really sure....Are you...........
    I agree with this statement. Although always a concern, it was discussed at length. Someone wanting to get somewhere else and the initial motivating factors coupled with youth (ideal of Infinite time) you can never be sure. Black, white, Thai or brindle. All one can do is have it on the table from the beginning. I know how differently I think on many subjects from 25 to 35 to 45 onwards. Realising you are mortal or that Clock that ticks for the female companions not only physical but emotionally changes. Also culturally to have children as a security must have some weight should they remain in LOS.

    "Safety for my Life" (Old age) I understand in different way than a decade ago. I do not agree with the way to achieve it personally, but understand it and accept it.
    "Man cannot discover New Oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore" 
      
       
       
         
       
      
     

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Nomad's Avatar
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    When we first met, CJ wanted another baby (has one 8 years old). After discussing it very early in our relationship, my view was that it was a deal breaker for me, and I got the snip. Whilst she didn't object, she was disappointed, yet understood the decision. The funny thing is that CJ has been sharing looking after her sister's baby since birth in June last year, and right now full-time during the day...whilst she loves the baby, she now says she wouldn't want any more!

    Being a part-time "Papa" has had its challenges, yet also its rewards. Early on she was quite cold to me...stealing her mum type emotions, and also ignoring me when other family were around. However, two years on she turns to me when her mum yaps her, and happily spends time with me, and I have her trust.

    Really haven't dealt with western assimilation, although she had a great time here with my folks and nieces and nephews, even though she speaks little English, although she does understand more than she lets on. Re assimilation, it took her well over a year before she would put her feet on me (e.g. sleeping in the car) and she now gives me a great massage walking on my back. Took two years before she would sit on my shoulders (e.g. to watch street performers) as she would be above my head and holding my head.
    "Don't wait around for your life to happen to you. Find something that makes you happy and do it. Everything else is just background noise." George Mason

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    My wife is 31 has a 13yr old son, i have known him since he just turned 3yrs old and he is the greatest kid in the world.

    Any expenses that come with raising him goes unchallenged by me.
    We pay for him to go to a great school(not that expensive, about 120k/yr)
    My wife has been getting stressed because he has grown so much so we have had to been replacing his shoes/clothes but i just tell her he is a growing boy.
    We have had our problems in our relationship, but when it comes to her son......we've never had a tense word.

    As for language barrier, he learns English in school and can understand and speak a bit now.
    But I have spent a fair bit of time with him alone when he knew zero English and was never a problem, we got by.

    As for having a child, we were planning for this year but we've been on a bad streak of late, so a bit on hold.
    I think we need to have a child to take the next step as a family and something i really want.
    Now, since my wife has only been a full time mom for just a bit, i worry how she handles it given my experience from seeing her deal with her son in the past.......she has very little patience
    Last edited by MarcTwoSix; 18th March 2014 at 02:03.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    Marc is her son still in Thailand?

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OZZYGUY View Post
    Marc is her son still in Thailand?
    yup, plan was him to come here but she had a medical issue that delayed our PR
    now, 2 years later it is cleared up, we think
    we really won't know until she gets approved or denied PR
    and at 13yres old, getting to a point where it might be best for him to stay in Thailand, for social reasons

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    I've had a bit of everything, and I think I've told the same story several times. I was married twice in Canada and divorced twice. But, I don't call either marriage a failure. I gained a lot in knowledge and experience from both marriages, although it cost me a fair bit financially. I have 2 grown kids, and 3 grandkids from my first marriage and I am still friends with their mother. After my second marriage ended with a lady I truly loved, I came to Thailand. That has completely changed my life for the better in so many ways.

    After extensive travel throughout the kingdom for 6 years, I chose to adopt a Thai family as a charity case. It was my intention to improve their opportunities in life... which I have done. What I didn't count on was falling in love with the woman's two younger children who were babies at the time. And, I've been on an emotional and financial rollercoaster ever since. The mother would drive a saint to tears and I don't think she has ever completed a sentence that didn't include a lie, but the two kids are delightful and made it bearable. The Thai boy and the girl are now 16 and 14, respectfully. Just recently, I set up separate bank accounts for both of them, and out of reach of their mother. It is for the two kids future. Fong and Kong love me and I love them as though they were my own. No need to go into details. I'll continue to support them as long as I can.

    I have been a bit of a mongerer for the past 18 years, but that has recently changed when I met a lovely lady just before Christmas, and she moved in with me. I already told that story in another topic. It has been a big change for both of us and we are adjusting well. I never thought it would happen, nor had I even wanted a full time relationship. It just occured. I've had to sever all ties with my former lovers who used to service my needs, but they knew what we had was just pay for play, even though we enjoyed each other's company on a physical level.

    I have 5 Canadian male friends who did not want children when they got married, but when it happened, they all agree the children changed their lives for the better. Looking back, they would have it no other way.
    Cobba likes this.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน obes's Avatar
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    Geezus Ian - you aint planning a baby are you.......5555

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Quote Originally Posted by obes View Post
    Geezus Ian - you aint planning a baby are you.......5555
    No, that ain't going to happen unless something weird occurs. I've been sterilized. My girlfriend keeps talking about a blue eyed baby but I'm sure not taking responsibility were it to happen.

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    เมืองเชียงราย Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Rivo's Avatar
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    ^ Buy her a dog Ian 555


    Do you think Pui would enjoy a stay with you back home, certainly would help the 7 months go quick if she was with you, time for you to settle down and get a Visa for her.
    A Wise Man Once Said "Nothing"

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    ^^^ Problem for employed TG's Rivo is getting time off work, normally because so many others are ready to step into your shoes any extended leave is loss of job, and even decent holiday breaks can be nonexistent.......
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    [quote] Buy her a dog Ian 555


    Do you think Pui would enjoy a stay with you back home, certainly would help the 7 months go quick if she was with you, time for you to settle down and get a Visa for her. [\quote]

    You've met the woman in question, Gavin, and our ladies all got along famously. We've talked about her coming to Canada for a holiday, but the pricks in Canadian immigration act like every Asian who wants to come to Canada for a holiday will jump ship and become an illegal immigrant. There are a couple of options that I'll have to research when I get home.

    The "dog" option is funny. Anyone with a full time job should never have a dog. Dogs need human interaction to stay sane, otherwise they go weird. You can hear the poor little dogs crying or barking every night when their owner isn't home.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    You've met the woman in question, Gavin, and our ladies all got along famously. We've talked about her coming to Canada for a holiday, but the pricks in Canadian immigration act like every Asian who wants to come to Canada for a holiday will jump ship and become an illegal immigrant. .
    You say this all the time, but how many Thais(forget about everyone else) that live in Canada and how many you know that overstay?
    I've known quite a few that have overstayed. Hell i've known a couple who used each other's passports!
    Quite simply if a relationship is real you will get the visa but if the girl has only the relationship to go by and not her own backing(financial, career) than the relationship has to be judged
    The simple fact is if you only know a girl for a limited amount of time who has financial incentive to overstay her visa, Canada or any other country has to protect themselves
    They are not being pricks....they have jobs to do and a much bigger picture to look at than people in 3-6 month relationships

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    เมืองเชียงราย Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Rivo's Avatar
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    ^ I was only talking about a Tourist Visa for Ian's girlfriend, I have no idea about the criteria for a TV to Canada although I would of thought it would be a straight forward process especially if Ian will be a sponser for her. Im sure Ian would have a few photo's 555 of them travelling around Thailand and he could say he just wants to show her about Canada and where he lives, and his fishing spots 555.
    A Wise Man Once Said "Nothing"

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rivo View Post
    ^ I was only talking about a Tourist Visa for Ian's girlfriend, I have no idea about the criteria for a TV to Canada although I would of thought it would be a straight forward process especially if Ian will be a sponser for her. Im sure Ian would have a few photo's 555 of them travelling around Thailand and he could say he just wants to show her about Canada and where he lives, and his fishing spots 555.
    TV are pretty hard to Canada if you don't have your own financial backing
    Ao got denied her 1st try before we were married

    But he'd certainly have the pictures for proof 555

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