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Thread: What do you say when some farang ask about their TG

  1. #1
    Seven_
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    What do you say when some farang ask about their TG

    A question to the board, mainly to expats but others may have come across the situation.
    Last edited by Seven_; 14th August 2016 at 22:06.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Man I have no experience of this at all but will be really interested to hear others experiences and point of view...
    ...God I think it would be a horrible place to be put.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน supersub's Avatar
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    Just be honest

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Mr. Smiley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seven_ View Post
    What do you say? where do your loyalties lie?
    I'd sidestep question and say I mind my own business or give a neutral response. And don't give into gossip and the like, less it comes back to bite you in the ass. I remember this one time I had said something general about a girl and the guy rounded on the girl about it.... let's say the girl certainly didn't appreciate it one bit...

    Might as well merge the "do you tell the (random) bloke (you bump into the street that) he's with a ladyboy?" thread as it would likely lead to a similar outcomes or responses, 5555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    It all depends, doesn't it?
    In most cases, just stay out of it

    But I've told guys they might want to slow things down if they come in like gangbusters.
    So you are not saying anything bad towards the girl..........but kind of giving them a heads up

    But I have been in plenty of situations where the girl is clearly bad news and if a grown adult can't figure it out, I don't feel the duty to do so for them
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Cippy's Avatar
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    I have run across this a few times. I lived in a small rural village for a year and some, the only farang within a 20 min. drive, and you definitely are privy to things that a tourist will never see. I have seen several situations that I could have intervened and save a poor soul some grief and money. But when it comes down to it: you can't fix stupid.

    For example, there is a women in the village who has one or two expat boyfriends at a time and all the while married to a Thai man. Her latest conquest asked me during songkhran whether or not she was loyal. I answered by recounting the facts that the whole village was privy to. He had sent her a sum of money, impossible to tell how much by the time the tales got to me, she could book and plan a vacation for them upon his arrival. Not surprisingly the money was gone when he arrived and hence he was spending his vacation time in her Baan, sleeping on tile Thai style. He asked how I knew and I responded that the whole village knew. I was unwilling to say more that that, why should I? Even not knowing what I knew he had more than enough information.

    Closer to home, two of my wife's cousins are also married to farang, one happily married and very loyal, the other . . . well, we all know the story. I like the guy, and he does right by her. The had a big wedding in the Baan and her lifetime Thai boyfriend was there and it was uncomfortable for me. But I did as Thai do and ignored the fact even though it bothered me.

    Even if this all happened within my own culture, I would not get involved in such a situation unless this person was very close to me.
    Last edited by Cippy; 16th July 2015 at 02:19.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cippy View Post
    I have run across this a few times. I lived in a small rural village for a year and some, the only farang within a 20 min. drive, and you definitely are privy to things that a tourist will never see. I have seen several situations that I could have intervened and save a poor soul some grief and money. But when it comes down to it: you can't fix stupid.

    For example, there is a women in the village who has one or two expat boyfriends at a time and all the while married to a Thai man. Her latest conquest asked me during songkhran whether or not she was loyal. I answered by recounting the facts that the whole village was privy to. He had sent her a sum of money, impossible to tell how much by the time the tales got to me, she could book and plan a vacation for them upon his arrival. Not surprisingly the money was gone when he arrived and hence he was spending his vacation time in her Baan, sleeping on tile Thai style. He asked how I knew and I responded that the whole village knew. I was unwilling to say more that that, why should I? Even not knowing what I knew he had more than enough information.

    Closer to home, two of my wife's cousins are also married to farang, one happily married and very loyal, the other . . . well, we all know the story. I like the guy, and he does right by her. The had a big wedding in the Baan and her lifetime Thai boyfriend was there and it was uncomfortable for me. But I did as Thai do and ignored the fact even though it bothered me.

    Even if this all happened within my own culture, I would not get involved in such a situation unless this person was very close to me.
    I am sure you or most of us have encountered a situation where they don't want to hear the truth anyways

    If the guy is younger, I would be more apt to give him the "maybe slow it down a bit" nod
    But, as I said, if they are in their mid 30"s and above...........they should know better

    Hell, if they are asking a stranger about their girl...........they pretty much know the answer already
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    Cippy nails it tight. Be as Thai as possible. You live there, the others maybe not so much.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน supersub's Avatar
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    It's easy to take the Thai approach I guess but put the shoe on the other foot would you not want someone to inform you that your partner were cheating? Maybe it's just me being naive as I've never stayed there longer than a few months but it sounds like the puss.ies approach to me.


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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Cippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I am sure you or most of us have encountered a situation where they don't want to hear the truth anyways

    If the guy is younger, I would be more apt to give him the "maybe slow it down a bit" nod
    But, as I said, if they are in their mid 30"s and above...........they should know better

    Hell, if they are asking a stranger about their girl...........they pretty much know the answer already
    Always a good reminder that all of us have been is somewhat sketchy situations and have made bad decisions.

    One trap I am careful not to fall in, but still sometimes do, is differentiating between some one who is going headlong into a bad situation totally blind to the consequences and intelligent folk that for whatever reasons know the consequences and forge ahead anyway. Mine tended to be I was a romantic. Jut like ol' Rakky? 555

    That seems a skill that was very lacking on P.I. 55555
    Last edited by Cippy; 16th July 2015 at 05:22.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Cippy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by supersub View Post
    It's easy to take the Thai approach I guess but put the shoe on the other foot would you not want someone to inform you that your partner were cheating? Maybe it's just me being naive as I've never stayed there longer than a few months but it sounds like the puss.ies approach to me.
    If the shoe were on the other foot I would not be receptive to a stranger or acquaintance getting involved in my life on such a personal level. What you call being a puss.y I call being prudent.
    Last edited by Cippy; 16th July 2015 at 03:09.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Stillearly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by supersub View Post
    It's easy to take the Thai approach I guess but put the shoe on the other foot would you not want someone to inform you that your partner were cheating? Maybe it's just me being naive as I've never stayed there longer than a few months but it sounds like the puss.ies approach to me.


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    In Thailand or at home , unless it was a very close friend of mine , I wouldn't get involved or offer opinions on anyone's relationship , someone I've just met , no way ...
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน supersub's Avatar
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    I think some of the responses here are a good reflection on society today and how no one has the balls to call out where they see something obviously wrong. Maybe it's a generational thing.

    If I were in that position I would be grateful for someone informing me of what's really happening. Also it's hardly someone poking their nose into my business if I am approaching them first for an opinion.




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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Stillearly's Avatar
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    But where should any loyalties lie , with some bloke you have never met before or a girl who might be a neighbour , relative or just someone you have known for a lot longer ...

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PeteGill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by supersub View Post
    If I were in that position I would be grateful for someone informing me of what's really happening. Also it's hardly someone poking their nose into my business if I am approaching them first for an opinion.

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    If you were in that position, we would hope that you would have sussed it out for yourself, as most the time the signs are pretty obvious. The other thing is that very often people who ask are looking assurance rather than advice.
    But even in being noncommittal you can still hint that the guy needs to take care. A gentle 'you are not the first' perhaps?

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Star TMTBOUND's Avatar
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    Why is the truth not your friend? I can be truthful to a fault. It sometimes works in my favor and other times people resent me for being honest at times when they want me to tell a comforting lie. I believe i will never be in that situation.... But if i were i would be honest. At least i could fall back on the truth. Being who I am......if someone confronted me for it, I would state the facts as I saw them and ask why i should compromise my personal integrity when you are the violator of integrity with this individual. I think the story changes if you are seeking out the person to spread information...... but if they are asking....
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by supersub View Post
    I think some of the responses here are a good reflection on society today and how no one has the balls to call out where they see something obviously wrong. Maybe it's a generational thing.

    If I were in that position I would be grateful for someone informing me of what's really happening. Also it's hardly someone poking their nose into my business if I am approaching them first for an opinion.




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    The thing is.........this **** it almost not real life.

    How many times back home have you had this situation?
    I think I have had it once or twice in my lifetime that I knew something bad going on.
    how many times have you felt the need to ask a stranger about your supposed gf?


    In 10 years time, visiting my wife's village about 15 times...........I know of 10 to 15 of these bad girl situations alone...............way more bad than good situations actually

    And in almost ever instance.........there were huge warning signs, the guy goes 0 to 100 with a girl he barely knows, etc..

    I've very rarely seen a situation in LOS where the guy did everything the right way, took their time, didn't send a stranger off to the village to sit around and do nothing..........and still got screwed over.
    In almost all instances, I'd say the guy is not blameless because he ignored so many red flags
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  18. #18
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Star TMTBOUND's Avatar
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    AGAIN>>>>>>. I am living from an American point of view. One that limited exposure to LOS except partying in the kingdom for 2-3 weeks at a time for 5 years.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TMTBOUND View Post
    Why is the truth not your friend? I can be truthful to a fault. It sometimes works in my favor and other times people resent me for being honest at times when they want me to tell a comforting lie. I believe i will never be in that situation.... But if i were i would be honest. At least i could fall back on the truth. Being who I am......if someone confronted me for it, I would state the facts as I saw them and ask why i should compromise my personal integrity when you are the violator of integrity with this individual. I think the story changes if you are seeking out the person to spread information...... but if they are asking....
    So you are involved in a long term relationship
    You did everything right, took the right steps

    Then you have a guy who most likely ignored all sensibilities.
    And you are supposed to be some kind of warning guide for them?

    Potentionally getting your wife/gf dragged into drama, which you avoided by doing your due diligence?

    I get what your saying but I don't think you realize how many times these situations come up in Thailand when you are in a long term relationship
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  20. #20
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PeteGill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TMTBOUND View Post
    Why is the truth not your friend? I can be truthful to a fault. It sometimes works in my favor and other times people resent me for being honest at times when they want me to tell a comforting lie. I believe i will never be in that situation.... But if i were i would be honest. At least i could fall back on the truth. Being who I am......if someone confronted me for it, I would state the facts as I saw them and ask why i should compromise my personal integrity when you are the violator of integrity with this individual. I think the story changes if you are seeking out the person to spread information...... but if they are asking....
    I am not so sure it is about being truthful, more about knowing when to step in with advise and when to keep out of a situation that truthfully does not involve you anyway.

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