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Thread: Winning Back a Thai GF....

  1. #1
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    Winning Back a Thai GF....

    Dated a Thai woman for three years and got fairly serious. She is NOT a bar girl or denizen of Patong/Pattaya/you name it. She is an F & B type, and we met in an upscale wine bar where she worked.

    I'll cut straight to the chase. I waited too long to pop the question and I did not realize how much (a) it was hurting her and (b) how much heat that was putting her under with her family, as she moved last year to another Asian country to live together with me. She left me during a three month sabbatical to visit a sister in Europe.

    I have since written her a very roadmap-like letter saying I understand my mistake, and here's my detailed plan to be married to you within three months, and to hold a family ceremony in Spring/Songkran. There has been no answer for two weeks.

    She 'had' said in previous correspondence that she "already chose for her life" and that she planned to move to Dubai to work.

    Thai women, especially, I would like feedback, if you are reading.... even if the odds are against me, do I keep hoping? And struggling? Is there anything I can do?

  2. #2
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Wouldn't it be the same for any woman of any ethnicity?
    You realized your regret and have expressed it

    The only thing you can do is keep trying. Show some creativity.
    Fly to where she is.....show her you are serious

    But why didn't you want to marry before?
    Did you change your mind simply because she left?

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Dupree's Avatar
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    If you love someone set them free. If she misses you then she'll come back. Don't contact her anymore. She needs to miss you. If you seem desperate you'll drive her away. I know it's hard but you don't want to diminish your appeal anymore.
    I just girl in bar. Buy me one dink?....

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    It's not that I didn't want to marry, it's that I went too slow.

    I told her in February that we could marry by the end of the year. I was fond of saying to her once in a while I didn't marry her once, but rather a million times.

    So the intention was there... but she grew frustrated and perhaps over time my credibility with her withered.

    Dubai's a mighty distracting place. I am afraid if she settles there that's it. I sent the very straightforward game plan letter but indeed I am not contacting her more because of the reasons listed above.

    I received two one line emails from her last month:
    (1) "I miss you so much." (good)
    (2) "I miss you a lots and forever" (much less good)

  5. #5
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    IMO TG don't really do long term "Dating".
    Don't forget you've also given her plenty of time to consider her own options.
    If you are serious, try to make contact in person (Not email or text).
    Put your case and give her a fair chance to reply.
    If Mum and Dad have said no and won't change their mind that could be it.


  6. #6
    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thaikz View Post
    (2) "I miss you a lots and forever" (much less good)
    yep....that says it all there

    But honestly...if you weren't comfortable moving up the time frame you set when she pushed you what makes you think you would be happy again now if she changes her mind...eventually you would resent her for that...

    the fear of losing somebody is not a reason to get married...once you have that you have already lost her
    jontymate likes this.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน slampay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post

    IMO TG don't really do long term "Dating".
    Don't forget you've also given her plenty of time to consider her own options.
    If you are serious, try to make contact in person (Not email or text).
    Put your case and give her a fair chance to reply.
    If Mum and Dad have said no and won't change their mind that could be it.

    Send mom and dad money....sorted...
    Gazmac, Changone and NeedHoliday like this.

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    Apart from the marriage delay, she mentioned in one online conversation that she "felt bad" asking for money to send home to her parents. And I know I goofed on that too-- I should have been proactive, offer to send it generously, it's kind of a cultural thing.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน meese's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thaikz View Post
    Apart from the marriage delay, she mentioned in one online conversation that she "felt bad" asking for money to send home to her parents. And I know I goofed on that too-- I should have been proactive, offer to send it generously, it's kind of a cultural thing.
    now you have your answer..it was right there in front of you 555555
    Dupree and TMTBOUND like this.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    ^ no money no honey?
    FACE YOUR FEARS LIVE YOUR DREAMS

  11. #11
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Stillearly's Avatar
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    What type of work is she planning on doing in Dubai ?

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    She would presumably be working in a restaurant/lounge. That's her thing.

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    When I moved her to a different location, I promised to take care of her. Taking care of her parents, happily and without hesitation, was part of the deal.

  14. #14
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thaikz View Post
    When I moved her to a different location, I promised to take care of her. ....
    Doesn't look like she thought you did .... especially the family support part .... IMHO a TG will stay with even a total loser as long he supports the family well .... just ask Mrs M.


    Enjoy...
    Life is the unexpected ...

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    I did, one or two months. But I wasn't forthcoming and generous about it, and I might have been slightly grumpy once or twice.

    But by God, have I gotten religion on the topic. The letter I sent stipulated monthly budgeting to support the parents and a marriage gift.

    Take me to the river, wash away my stupid.

  16. #16
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thaikz View Post
    I did, one or two months. But I wasn't forthcoming and generous about it, and I might have been slightly grumpy once or twice.

    But by God, have I gotten religion on the topic. The letter I sent stipulated monthly budgeting to support the parents and a marriage gift.

    Take me to the river, wash away my stupid.
    Which Asian country did you take her to live?
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Korea (South of course). I was kind of getting some career stuff off the ground and I suppose I was a bit tense. Mea culpa. But I'm doing better, and I told her I want to share that prosperity and save up, and then we can move anywhere. Two weeks of silence to the letter is still not no. But I don't want my hopes inflated like a soap bubble.

  18. #18
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    It sounds like her sister has turned her... is she in Europe now? Interesting that she has chosen Dubai... a lot of TGs head there.
    My only experience was in a pie making factory managing the gravy team


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    Well communication was not easy. And as a result I think she told herself a lot of horror stories about how I didn't love her 100%, wasn't ready to marry, etc. The sister initiated the three month visit, I think in retrospect, as a breakup club med. What I personally think is that there's a massive miscommunication and I have tried to iron that out in the letter, which I incidentally had translated into Thai. So she could read it without filtration, and more importantly, share with friends and family. If the answer was unambiguously no, wouldn't it have come by now? And yet, I know I am probably grasping. But I'm kind of calling out to the whole universe.

  20. #20
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    which I incidentally had translated into Thai.

    hopefully by a competent professional and not an online translation site?
    FACE YOUR FEARS LIVE YOUR DREAMS

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