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Thread: Meeting your Girls family

  1. #61
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    May 2012
    This is an interesting thread and had a good read ...

    For what its worth ...

    The 1st time I was invited to the baan I was a rank newby.
    I liked Oiyingya ( I ended up calling her 'Ya' ) but she was from Mukdahan , which is way up on the Laos border , and I didnt really feel I knew her that well , plus I was in Patong party mode , and just thought , "Lets wait and see". Great girl but , and as I suspected , the man she had mentioned came back while I was back home ( I was only holidaying then ) and asked to marry , and that was a good thing really - as I had a lot to learn.

    BTW - I think we farang can be very hard on each other on this 'visit the baan issue' , as for a lot of us old cynics , it is often more about the 'see the bush with a local ( with extras thrown in ..555 ) experience' than ay sort of road to commitment.
    At least that was how it was going to be for me ...
    Fairly quickly I could see how it all worked in Patong ( say two holidays ) and many like me could as well. So I missed seeing Mukdahan ( and really missed the Laos side Savannaket that I had read about. And have still yet to see them.

    Anyway , the next tg I was moved to actually go to the baan with was from near Korat.
    I'd moved here by then and had over a year of fun , and I hadnt long lived with her and offered to take her in my new truck and she was keen and off we went.
    She was great all the way to Hua Hin ( from HKT) and talkative , and near HH her cheapo mobile started ringing and when we got there she turned silent. Morose even. She just wanted to sit in the loom ( near the bar quarter ) and eat noodles . No communication , nothing. I knew what to do by then , so I went silent as well and showered , put on a clean shirt ( and shock , horror long pants !! ) and went out .
    I think there was something like 24 missed calls and 30 smses when I turned my phone back on at a bar at 1am.
    When I got back to the room she was sleeping on a mat on the floor.
    I barked , "Get up and get on the bed!". She did , but I wasnt sure she would have.

    Sometimes , and its with no joy I find I have ( had ) to do it , that some Thai ladies need to experience some of what they dish out.
    I dont regret yelling at her after hours of the silent treatment , but I do regret not looking back later more kindly later - because the shit went down as soon as we arrived in her baan.
    She studiously ignored her phone the next day , was even warm and affectionate , was outgoing enough to solicit help when we missed ring road 9 around Bkk , and sweet talked cops near Saraburi who just wanted money from the farang.
    We started stopping every 10 ks and her buying plastic bag after plastic bag of edible fruits and grasses.
    At Nahko Ratchasima ( Korat ), a town WAY bigger than I had pictured , we had to stop at and buy her "neph'' a bike.
    And heaps more food.
    She didnt ask for 1 baht.
    She became tenser as we approached the villiage off the Khon Kien road.
    She said , "Sorry! Soon not very good."

    We stopped the truck in a very littered broken wire and fenced off dusty area.
    'Kanom' wrappers blowing round.
    Instead of us going straight to the family , she went to the back of the truck and said , "Dee! bling some!", and I got some bags , and we carried all these shopping bags of friut and veg to this platform that had one leg tilted , so it wasnt eeven level , under the huge mango tree.
    6 adults and 4 kids sat quietly there.
    Only lovely little old Yai , the tgs Grandma , who had raised her , smiled and waied.
    The others all smiled and looked down at their feet.

    What turned out to be my tgs eldest sister , my tg being the youngest , stood up , and said something about 10,000.
    No wais , no greetings ... ( after that the "vulgar" South Thai family compare as 'supap' or gentile 555 )
    There was a heated exchange.
    Everyone studiously went thru all the plastic bags and started eating ( no bowls , no washing it first ) maybe as an excuse , and I started thinking , "This is NOT a family I want to know long time!" 555

    Worse was yet to come.
    At least that tg said 'sorry' and thats not a word Ive noticed that lots of women ( world wide ) can utter easily.
    But thats also pretty much all she said.
    Im directed to the Or Bor Tors office.
    As soon as we walk in she goes straight to an older Chinese looking ladies desk and speaks strong and straight and , so unlike her points a finger.
    The lady replies and it starts getting louder and heated !
    Fortunately , a man in a suit , who I rightly it turns out to assume, is the Or Bor Tor himself .
    They both go quiet , he admonishes the lady . somehow makes her wai my tg , they both nod , and we walk out of the office.

    In the car I say, "This is not going well. I understand that its not your culture to speak . Tomorrow I have a look at Kon Kien and maybe Udon , and drive back , its ok ..."
    She bursts into tears , "No. Palease we go in Hotel."

    In the Hotel near the 'Mom' statue in central Korat she explains that her Mum is a hopeless gambler.
    That in her 18 months even working in an out of the way bar ( but in a Soi leading to 2 luxury hotels ) in Patong she has made enough to buy the family 2 new Honda Waves and put a big deposit on a new Isuzu truck , plus send 15,000 cash a month.
    And Mum has lost it all , weekly , on card games.
    Anything that came - lost.
    Big sister calls and says stuff like , "You better get more man ! We cannot take care.."

    The incident in the Or Bor Tors office is this.
    Mum KNEW her little earner was coming , and despite my tgs apparent previous announcement ( of near a year ) that everyone in the town should know that NO MORE debts would be paid by ANY daughter , the Chinese lady offered Mum a 'seat' at the game . The Or Bor Tor even knew of this and said , that the debt was null and void.

    So Mum was shamed and barely visible the next few days.
    Papa nodded but just stayed out with his buffalo and looked to me like a man beaten.
    Yai and the pretty sisters and kids were a delight.

    I took about 7 of them to a 'Moo Katah' ( witch hat bbq ) locally , and all up it was less than a thousand.
    Mum didnt come because she thought I didnt like her.
    That was true , so I was glad she had some sort of sensitivity ! 55
    Dad just always stayed with his cows.
    Poor bastard.

    We were back in Patong a month after that .
    The Mum moved to Kon Kien , ostensibly to 'reform' her ways and stop playing cards with her cronnies.
    She got a job immediately.
    Believe it or not , ( I can ) , Mumma just went , and poor ol Pappa asked his 4 ( only ) daughters where she had gone ?
    My tg laughed and said , "We all tell to him now she have 'gik' and she go with that man , hah ha ".

    I thought that was low.
    Pappa had retreated to his cattle , but they had started with nothing and 20 rai , so he had done something right.
    When I commented that her family hadnt made any sort of warm Thai greeting she said that they were just shy.

    Anyway we finished , and part of that was about my continued contact/friendship with my current tg.
    Many years ago we had toured the south in the truck and visited Haad Yai , Satun and Songkla over 10 days.
    At Muang Nakhon Sri Thammerat ( city ) we checked into a very pleasant hotel there that she had no reason to know and ate a VERY good garden restaurant she certainly knew and had never been able to afford to eat at.
    After we went to the massively log cabin style pub called , Country Road , and not a one of the hundreds of drinkers there was rude or unwelcoming.
    Thais families actually came over and grabbed our hands and MADE us stand up and dance with them...

    The next day , with big hangovers , I went to pull out of the car park.
    I looked both ways and said "Nueng ? We go your baan or not?"
    She thought a bit and said , "No. Wait we know each other a little bit more.. we two have marry before.."

    3 months later we arrived at her farm house and these supposedly rough south people ( who certainly speak rough ) all came out and waied and said hello ( the kids even tried English ) , but left me sitting on the balustrades and all charged inside - until the disabled sister hopped out and placed a mat on the floor and commanded "Nung Nung Khun Dee !" ( Sit Sit Mr Dean ) and then a plethora of steaming dishes delivered by her daughters arrived.
    I said something like , "Bee. Cant they come sit with us now?" and Bee goes , "Khun Dee. Them make many more food. Yung ! ( Wait !)'

    Sure enough 'disabled sisters' ( burnt badly by a kero lamps) disabled husband ( polio victim ) arrives with 48 Leos on ice in his 'saleang' and out comes all the nieces with another mat and untold plates of massaman and crispy pork and mild som tum and yam nuea ( spicy meat salads ) and soups and trays of raw veggies to just graze on...
    Coconuts from the land hit professionally with a machete if you want them... I held mine to my mouth and most of mine went down my chest .
    Everybodyhad a luagh and the kids all wanted to show me how you stand up , spill a few drops how its pouring , and step up and pour and gulp and dont waste near anything.

    But here is another example of Thais not telling you things.
    After this great late ( well 2pm ) lunch , boys arrive with a big sound system , a bloke with a dead pig arrives and throws it on a broken beach mat , then a massive metal 'spit' is delivered and I comment that the family has really gone out of their way and and are we starting again ( ? ) . She says , "No , my family make eat for welcome before . But is Nee ( the disabled sister - there are actually many more sisters ), 50 birsday ! So now is more BIG the party !"
    Well the party was a hoot!
    The south people have a bit of affinity to reggae by the way and dont mind the occasional spliff .
    Big Big party ensues ...plates of pork and Leos shoved in my hand continually.
    Drunk happy Thais of both sexes giving me anything and calling me "Loong" ( uncle )
    Kareoke set up and dials set to 11 ( or a lot ) !

    I think my rendition of "No Woman no Cry " was pretty good ... everyone looked like they were about to cry ...
    Last edited by Chob; 18th January 2018 at 05:51.
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  2. #62
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Jun 2013
    Great story Dean, very descriptive.................

    As I said, I just never got people freaking out about a visit to the village. Sure, the setting is different but it really wasn't anything different than visiting any other girl's family

    Now, my visit was probably much different than most..........because all her aunts/uncle and her friends spoke English and we stayed in a huge house

    But beyond that...........I would have been fine in any situation

    PS........the house was sold in a fire sale, I probably could have bought it for 1.5mil but since it was her evil Aunt I steadfastedly refused, she would have always thought of it as her house
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  3. #63
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    May 2012
    ^ A bargain.
    But many bargains here arent actually of any worth to us.
    And that aunt sounds like a bitch..
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  4. #64
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Jun 2013
    Quote Originally Posted by Chob View Post
    ^ A bargain.
    But many bargains here arent actually of any worth to us.
    And that aunt sounds like a bitch..
    She's worse than a bitch

    I may have bought the place and told her to get the fcuk off my wife and
    Her family lived in the village

    It may have been worth the hassle
    And I would have had no problem telling her to beat it

  5. #65
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Dec 2011
    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    She's worse than a bitch

    I may have bought the place and told her to get the fcuk off my wife and
    Her family lived in the village

    It may have been worth the hassle
    And I would have had no problem telling her to beat it
    Many Thais live in houses where they have no right to do so.
    How would you, as a farang, get her out 555?
    Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!

  6. #66
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    Many Thais live in houses where they have no right to do so.
    How would you, as a farang, get her out 555?
    If I owned it?
    It would be pretty friggin simple
    Get the fxuk out

    I've limited her once immense influence on my wife and family to pretty much zero
    So if I had to kick her out of a house I owned......I don't think it would be too hard

    But that wasn't really the point.
    If we bought it and she lived in the sisters house 50 metres away she'd always think of it as her house
    The discount wasn't worth the headache to me
    Last edited by MarcTwoSix; 18th January 2018 at 16:22.

  7. #67
    Tez is offline
    Cadet silver Tez's Avatar
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    May 2014
    Meeting Tg family is an odd experience all right. Kinda makes me laugh when I think about the almost TG I had And almost because for 3 years we have been talking then not talking much after I leave. I arrive one month in LOS and all is good I arrive 2 to 4 months later and I cant see her. Others have tried but and I am sure the same for them She isn't particularly stunning but she gives the GF experience that would get her an Oscar I even went to her village which is were she stays now, I met her most of her surviving family (the ones that live there) and a bunch of her friends. I Helped out with the rice bagging which was an amusing time Then we talked a lot about what she wants in life and now I understand what she thinks of herself. So after our short time together at her house She decided to take financial security fella over me. So much for 3 of the best days together in her run down shack then its as good as done. Had she come to Aus with me I think things might of worked out differently . Not going to commit to any relationship just yet. Just the ST or Lt ones I will make every effort there. Sometimes It too hard to understand.

  8. #68
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    May 2012
    Yes Tez , you done right to stick it in the "Too Hard" basket...
    Lots of blokes cant do that and are constantly pining for what cannot be , when any good Buddhist knows that no good comes from forcing things to happen.

    If she cant meet you anytime you come over , cant say , "Ok , pick me up after work everyday ( just like we would be happy to do back home - EVEN on holidays ) then something isnt right , commitment speaking .
    But I have to add that logic dictates that if any tg 'gainfully employed' ( at the usual 60 hr , 6 day a week normal Thai job ) can just stop for 2 weeks to join her ( FIFO - fly in fly out ) 'boyfriend' then maybe she isn't being honest either.

    Just keep coming over and 'interviewing' 555 , theres a gem over here just waiting to be discovered.

    " She isn't particularly stunning " ... aiming too low buddy ! If you arent saying , "I met the loveliest girl ever in Thailand !" , then you are lucky it didnt continue.

    Just my experience and no offence intended..
    Last edited by Chob; 23rd January 2018 at 00:57.
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