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Thread: Your opinion(Thai related)

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Your opinion(Thai related)

    As most know or have attended parties.
    Thais "go Buddha" or "have party for Buddha" when a (usually) younger Thai male has sort of a christening and goes to the temple. A sort of coming of age for a Thai male.
    There is usually a big party and its quite nice.

    I have 4 BIL's, aged 25-29
    So they all decided to "go Buddha" for a month.
    I mean they all have somewhat decent jobs but live month to month like most people.
    They have kids they need to care for.
    2 of them just went through a lenghty criminal court issue that they already missed a bunch of work for.
    I don't know, it just seems a bit irresponsible to me to just all decide to leave work for a month at their age.

    Of course my wife sees it different.
    And I may be wrong in my thinking also.....hence asking your opinions on it.

    PS.....I'm also not allowed to mention that 2 of them owe me 50k and haven't paid me back a dime yet but have decided to forgo a month wages 555

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน OZZYGUY's Avatar
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    I would be thinking the same as you. Buts its there culture and how things are, up to them.

    Had a friend that I lent a similar amount of money too a few years back. Was annoying when they go out and buy something they could go without and pay you back some money in stead.

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Maybe what's driving you is not so much the cultural side of it, but the ongoing perceived risk to you of getting your 50k back when you see them in court and taking time off?

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Paul I have no experience of it at all but my one thought on it is...iif they are working for Thai's and going Buddha is a Thai tradition, I can only guess their bosses are OK with it.


    I am guessing there is a belie,f by all that, they will come back as better, more mature, individuals and I guess the bosses think that will help in their work.


    A bit like us telling the boss we need a month off without pay to do an intense course in computer programing, the boss may think it is a good idea because the skills you learn may benefit the business one day.


    I'm sorry to hear there has been no repayment to you yet....maybe while they are in Temple they may become enlightened enough to see their responsibility to you
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Changone View Post
    Maybe what's driving you is not so much the cultural side of it, but the ongoing perceived risk to you of getting your 50k back when you see them in court and taking time off?
    No its really not about the money owed, but I could see why you would think that.

    I'm just not the type of guy to take a month off work when I have responsibilities
    And it just seems so "flighty" to me, sort of.

    I've known younger Thai males that didn't spend a whole month at the temple and only a week or so.
    I just don't see why guys in their late 20's should take a month off work when they really can't afford it.
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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Are there jobs secure ... as in do they have the same job to go back too ?

    Did they put some money away for this month off .... much like us saving for a holiday ...

    I am guessing the answer to that 2nd question is no ..... because IMHO thai tradition or not ... they should save for the month off before they have it off, more so if they have bills to pay

    Fairly basic requirement i would have thought
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    JC unknowingly touched on my pessimisim, sort of.

    3 of the 4 of them are good guys but they are always getting into some sort of stupid trouble.
    Like the 2 assaulting the police officer.
    The other good one is getting out of a 2 year jail stint(where he caused the other brother to lose his job)

    So I think it is a bit about a "reset", as JC alluded to.
    And my MIL and wife eat that stuff up when it comes to my BIL's

    And I am dubious that they are just looking to take a month off work and will be up to the same stupid **** 2-3months later.

    And again, maybe I am being culturally insensitive, that is why I asked for opinions.
    But if my sister and brother decided to take a month off work to stay in a monestary I'd being having the same questions.

    Bottom line....is I don't think they are " all in" on this. It's like just a whim for them

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    And another question about this.
    We planned and booked a villa in Hua Hin.
    We did this so that the whole family could enjoy the villa.
    I even decided to not book the villa I really wanted because my wife said it was too hi-so and her family wouldn't feel comfortable.
    So I booked the one she wanted and paid the deposit months ago on her urging because she thought being around Songkran we needed to reserve early.
    So we booked the Villa April 8-13
    We thought the brother's party would be on the 10th.
    They now decided the 17th is better.
    But that means I'd have to spend 10 days and most my holiday in Hua Hin....something I don't want to do.

    But I'm not one of those farangs that isn't involved in his Thai family.
    I feel odd being in Thailand and not going to the party.
    But it also screws up my holiday.

    Am I jerk if I am in Thailand and don't go?
    I can't just fly into HH or I would fly up for the day regardless of where I was.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    becoming monks for a month or whatever is seen a big positive in thai culture....lucky,cleansing and making big merit.



    on the down side it can also be used for treating alcohol and drug addiction.

    usually a lot of pomp and ceremony and fuss made about men doing it.
    FACE YOUR FEARS LIVE YOUR DREAMS

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    And another question about this.
    We planned and booked a villa in Hua Hin.
    We did this so that the whole family could enjoy the villa.
    I even decided to not book the villa I really wanted because my wife said it was too hi-so and her family wouldn't feel comfortable.
    So I booked the one she wanted and paid the deposit months ago on her urging because she thought being around Songkran we needed to reserve early.
    So we booked the Villa April 8-13
    We thought the brother's party would be on the 10th.
    They now decided the 17th is better.
    But that means I'd have to spend 10 days and most my holiday in Hua Hin....something I don't want to do.

    But I'm not one of those farangs that isn't involved in his Thai family.
    I feel odd being in Thailand and not going to the party.
    But it also screws up my holiday.

    Am I jerk if I am in Thailand and don't go?
    I can't just fly into HH or I would fly up for the day regardless of where I was.
    They'll miss you at the party - after all who's going to pay for it now? 55555!

    They must have very good bosses to get a month off and still keep their jobs - most unusual IME.
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    Lamai Beach Bum Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน bacwaan's Avatar
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    for Thais with the right attitude who have transgressed going into a monastery for a short while....usually less than a week...is all about making merit and through that being absolved for the past "sins"....I've no idea whether these guys are doing it for the right reasons or whether is a mutual goofing off session..however in Thai society it is a way of putting past bad deeds behind them and moving on...an absolution if you like

    Being raised a catholic I'm sure you have some empathy with that "system" paulie..555

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    They'll miss you at the party - after all who's going to pay for it now? 55555!

    They must have very good bosses to get a month off and still keep their jobs - most unusual IME.
    Ha
    Their Aunt is paying for the whole shebang

    They actually have decent jobs and are good at their job.

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    Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Hatari's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    They must have very good bosses to get a month off and still keep their jobs - most unusual IME.
    I have seen it in employment contracts, up to one month unpaid leave, job held for his return. For government employees, as far as I know, it is a standard in their conditions of employment for full pay when they become a monk

    Former neighbour was amphur land titles officer, he went for two weeks after youngest child graduated from uni and got a job. Was explained to me as time to focus on the next phase of his life, with no children to support, continue to be a good husband and father. Different to a young man doing it, no big party. I liked it the way it was explained to me, reminded me of a married couple renewing their vows, renewing their commitment




    And I've been to the young man party before monkhood too, seemed to be quite a money earner for his family, i was told once the donations were for the cost of hired labour while the young man/worker was away at the temple, maybe that's what it was once. Lots of donation envelopes, though the whisky, food, band and dancers would have taken some of it.
    Next day the procession to a temple about 30km away, interesting to sit inside the temple with his family and see the whole ordination process and him changed from white to saffron monks robes for the first time




    -_-_-_-_-_-

    Could be wrong, thought it was also expected of the eldest son after the death a parent, merit to help their spirit into the next life. Rathapark the Thai world MotoGP rider for Honda did this after the death if his father

    Last edited by Hatari; 21st January 2016 at 15:01. Reason: govt employees full pay not unpaid
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hatari View Post
    I have seen it in employment contracts, up to one month unpaid leave, job held for his return. For government employees, as far as I know, it is a standard in their conditions of employment

    Former neighbour was amphur land titles officer, he went for two weeks after youngest child graduated from uni and got a job. Was explained to me as time to focus on the next phase of his life, with no children to support, continue to be a good husband and father. Different to a young man doing it, no big party. I liked it the way it was explained to me, reminded me of a married couple renewing their vows, renewing their commitment




    And I've been to the young man party before monkhood too, seemed to be quite a money earner for his family, i was told once the donations were for the cost of hired labour while the young man/worker was away at the temple, maybe that's what it was once. Lots of donation envelopes, though the whisky, food, band and dancers would have taken some of it.
    Next day the procession to a temple about 30km away, interesting to sit inside the temple with his family and see the whole ordination process and him changed from white to saffron monks robes for the first time




    -_-_-_-_-_-

    Could be wrong, thought it was also expected of the eldest son after the death a parent, merit to help their spirit into the next life. Rathapark the Thai world MotoGP rider for Honda did this after the death if his father

    Although this hasn't been given as a reason for them doing this.....their father died about 2years ago.

    As for a young man's party.....we will have a very nice and big party when my stepson goes to do his Temple stay.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    I think a month living as a monk is a long time if you are just goofing off, so I would think they are serious.


    As you say M26 some of them have some sins to atone for and I am guessing the good brothers are going along to help/support the ones with the most "Sin".


    Barccy said it clearer than I did, I was thinking maybe they are going to give thanks for being kept out of jail and thanks for having a BIL like you. Thus my comment of hope they come out realizing their debt to you.


    On the no pay thing, we all know most Thai's are never good at budgeting and somehow they all seem to get thru, be it help from family, neighbours or friends. They never seem to worry the way we do, especially the men.


    As for the debt to you, I think I remember you saying if you lent it there would be no more lending to anyone, till it was repaid.
    SO maybe you have paid a fee to avoid future loans possibly much higher.


    It's a shame them mucking you around with the party dates, what has your wife said about that? have you discussed it with her, if not maybe do and then she can talk to them and point out what the changes are doing.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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    Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Hatari's Avatar
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    Since opinion was invited, i'll pass on some third-party opinion, that of MsH's mother

    I like to get in either a witch on a broomstick or a mafia reference every time, because her subtle influence reminds me of Tony's mother in the early Sopranos seasons. Telepathic, and i think powers of telekinesis and teleportation as well (but as far as i know does not read forums)

    She has no time for the current trend of boozy parties, drinking and dancing (this includes coyote dancing) the night before a young man goes into monkhood
    No time either for monks who want anything but their daily food
    No time for the ones who she says go there to avoid something, especially if that something is work. I gather the drug or prison rehab is 'good'
    As such, and the family tend to follow her guidelines, she will donate money to the temple for a specific project, not a general donation in cash.
    Never money direct to an individual monk. There will be no purchases of iPhones for a 'monk for a month'!

    They buy sacks of rice once a year for the temple.
    I was there new year 2014 when she bought, and son-in-law distributed, new bed pillows and sheets for the unsupported elderly folk in the neighbourhood. They also get rice. Monks go to same old people for handouts

    Old-fashioned i suppose, but think she's on the right track

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    Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Hatari's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    As for a young man's party.....we will have a very nice and big party when my stepson goes to do his Temple stay.
    Including coyote dancers? A bottle of JW on every table?
    What's the standard for your area?
    Our current (since 2011) town, very conservative, not aware of any big parties here, just see the occasional procession of pickups taking everyone to the temple. Perhaps they have a nice cup of green tea the night before. No idea, but seems to be very low key
    Last edited by Hatari; 21st January 2016 at 15:15.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hatari View Post
    Including coyote dancers? A bottle of JW on every table?
    What's the standard for your area?
    The standard will be whatever my wife wants 555

    I want to have it at a hotel in Cha Am but my wife says too hi-so

    As for the standard party.....has been pretty much what you described, although all of them have been pretty tame.

    As for your MIL......I am in pretty much agreement with most of her thoughts
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  19. #19
    Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Hatari's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    As for your MIL......I am in pretty much agreement with most of her thoughts
    I may have considered disagreeing with her just once, but my 'no' came out as a 'yes'

    She's a good lady. Integrity and pride, widowed before eldest child had left school.
    Apparently, I'm told, she likes me. Else I'd have been turned into a frog by now.
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  20. #20
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน chelski's Avatar
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    Marc26, in relation to your problem re missing work time due to them going away. An old boss of mine, used to do his nut all the time as one of the departmental managers was a voulenteer fire fighter and around this time of year when the dealership was flat out busy, this particular manager was always dissapearing for hours on end to go put small fires out. If it happened to be a big one, he could be gone for days.

    There was nothing my boss could do as I think there are rules saying you cannot stop them going. I know it was the same if you were in the reserve army in the UK. People used to join up, so as they got a few extra weeks holidays going to training camps. Again the companies could not stop them going.

    Had my boss tried to sack him, I know for a fact he would have pulled the voulonteer sympathy card even if that was not the reason.

    So it is a hard thing for employers to have to put up with, along with the other members of staff that then have to cover for the absent workers. The people who cover the missing workers do not get any extra pay, but the missing workers were still entitled to get paid as far as I know.

    Is a bit like the thing regarding you cannot smoke if the workplace.
    Smokers dissapear every hour for a smoke, while workers who do not smoke, have to cover for the workers that smoke, while they are having a break. Used to pi55 me off big time, but again, nothing could be done.

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