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Thread: The Toilet incident or near misses

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    The Toilet incident or near misses

    Have you had any funny/embarrassing story involving toilets that you might like to share.
    Most likely it did not feel funny at the time.

    I have a couple but i am off to the loo right now or there will be a office toilet story.

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    My first incident was in number 6 restaurant on Rat rd in Patong not even uncivilized.
    2nd day first trip. As a lover of chili and having eaten my share on arrival, here I am thinking time to goooooo.

    So asked politely where toilet is and am pointed to the rear of restaurant. In I go and do what must be done.
    Without going into to much detail a mass of finely filter lumps of matter in its own olive drab soup…enough said.

    Ahhhhh that’s better, toilet paper! Quick scan can not see! Ah there it is just a little quickening of the heart muscle 555(nervous laugh) ok that done.
    Hit the flusher on the side of the toilet……tink tunk do it again tink tunk….tink tunk tink tunk. NOT BLOODY CONNECTED what the faaaaaaak.
    Look around big bucket of water to wash hands I suppose and nothing….

    Hey whats this a hose with a little spray nozzle wonder if I can wash all this evidence away????
    So I am there spraying the bowl with the hose…5 mins….nothing happening at all maybe it’s a bit closer to the rim!
    This is not working!!!!!!

    I spy this ice cream container floating in the bucket of water maybe if I use that like a flusher…so here I am pouring some water in as I now know you are supposed to..but slowly, just getting deeper. So sweat is beginning to appear on my already sweating body.

    With great trepidation I have one last go and pour a full container in at pace.
    I watch as it seem like it’s about to over flow and it starts spinning…….shhhhrrrr gone!!!
    Seems so simple now……but at the time 5555

    Went back and told my mate as he asked why it took so long he just laughed his Arrse off!

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    555 seemed like it was a natural instinct for you wabs

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Well for thoses who have not see my trip report I will explain my incident.

    I had just been driven up the mountain to the Moe Village in Chiang Mai. I had forgotten I was not very good with those kind of roads. The first thing i do when i get of the mini bus is look for a toilet as I was rather ill. Found a sign, paid the 3B and off i go to the toilet. Once i open the door I see its one of those Asian (stand-up) toilets. Oh **** what do i do. i could not wait so I released my breakfast from earlier in the day. OH NO!!! These toilets do not have walls around them and I had made a good mess of the place 5555. No Flushers, OH NO Again. Found a Large container of water with a small bucket inside. I used this the clean/flush the toilet. No I need toilet paper to clean everything else. OK No Toilet paper, Scream to GF to buy something. I ended up using the bucket to wash down the area leaveing the place covered in water, But at least my breakfast was no longer able to be seen.

    seconds after leaving the Cubical i had to use the toilet again, but this time from the other end. I am thinking to myself I have no idea how to do this. Shut the door behind me after GF passes some tissues she brought for me. Hmmmmm. No what, did not want to leave me shorts sitting in the water I had left everywhere so I decided to strip it all off and do my business. I have camped a lot so was not too hard to do. I wanted to wash my hands after that experience and looked around for a sink and soap to discover a Western Toilet around the corner...... Oh Bugga!!!!! I never wanted to use a toilet like that again.... But days later found myself having to do it again 5555

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    Well for thoses who have not see my trip report I will explain my incident.

    I had just been driven up the mountain to the Moe Village in Chiang Mai. I had forgotten I was not very good with those kind of roads. The first thing i do when i get of the mini bus is look for a toilet as I was rather ill. Found a sign, paid the 3B and off i go to the toilet. Once i open the door I see its one of those Asian (stand-up) toilets. Oh **** what do i do. i could not wait so I released my breakfast from earlier in the day. OH NO!!! These toilets do not have walls around them and I had made a good mess of the place 5555. No Flushers, OH NO Again. Found a Large container of water with a small bucket inside. I used this the clean/flush the toilet. No I need toilet paper to clean everything else. OK No Toilet paper, Scream to GF to buy something. I ended up using the bucket to wash down the area leaveing the place covered in water, But at least my breakfast was no longer able to be seen.

    seconds after leaving the Cubical i had to use the toilet again, but this time from the other end. I am thinking to myself I have no idea how to do this. Shut the door behind me after GF passes some tissues she brought for me. Hmmmmm. No what, did not want to leave me shorts sitting in the water I had left everywhere so I decided to strip it all off and do my business. I have camped a lot so was not too hard to do. I wanted to wash my hands after that experience and looked around for a sink and soap to discover a Western Toilet around the corner...... Oh Bugga!!!!! I never wanted to use a toilet like that again.... But days later found myself having to do it again 5555
    I did'nt laugh mate honest

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    I did'nt laugh mate honest
    I am laughing about it now, I have no problems with people laughing at my mishaps as i do the same in return 55555

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by G4orce View Post
    I am laughing about it now, I have no problems with people laughing at my mishaps as i do the same in return 55555
    Only fair 55555 try going to a loo in China and you may find a row of holes with painted foot prints no door and a bloke sitting next to you who never saw a white blokes bare arse before.555555

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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    Only fair 55555 try going to a loo in China and you may find a row of holes with painted foot prints no door and a bloke sitting next to you who never saw a white blokes bare arse before.555555
    Have done something similar, but camping after a few cold ones lol. We wanted someone to talk to while we were popping a squat 555

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Last trip to Isaan, In the back of the pick-up for over 5 hours..... Thip needs to go, she gets on the phone and calls her mum (sitting in the front) that she needs to go...... 20min later we pull up at a market on the side of the road and everyone rushes over to the cubicles, leaving me with Grandma..... she gives me a smile as she starts to say something in Thai, I have no idea what she is saying but carries on anyway, I do the smile and nod thing........ I look down and there's a puddle forming under her sarong....... Oh, why didn't you tell me you wanted some privacy....555

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    Last trip to Isaan, In the back of the pick-up for over 5 hours..... Thip needs to go, she gets on the phone and calls her mum (sitting in the front) that she needs to go...... 20min later we pull up at a market on the side of the road and everyone rushes over to the cubicles, leaving me with Grandma..... she gives me a smile as she starts to say something in Thai, I have no idea what she is saying but carries on anyway, I do the smile and nod thing........ I look down and there's a puddle forming under her sarong....... Oh, why didn't you tell me you wanted some privacy....555
    Some things in life we are better never seeing 55555

    Seems it might not be as rear as you think was telling Mrs W about your story and her aunt, middle of the house people all around lets go just gets up and wonders off,555555 The family just staring at each other speechless.555

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    This is Grandma....
    Attached Images Attached Images

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    A short story... location: Prague... scene: a hotel foyer full of people... I sneezed and shat my pants... as I had still to check in, I just pretended the smell wasn't coming from me...

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    A short story... location: Prague... scene: a hotel foyer full of people... I sneezed and shat my pants... as I had still to check in, I just pretended the smell wasn't coming from me...
    Did you do the look around disgusted obviously sniffing and looking at people accusingly. 5555

  14. #14
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PatongBeachBoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    A short story... location: Prague... scene: a hotel foyer full of people... I sneezed and shat my pants... as I had still to check in, I just pretended the smell wasn't coming from me...
    That old chestnut....... A "Shart"

  15. #15
    Organic AI Quarky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wabbits View Post
    Did you do the look around disgusted obviously sniffing and looking at people accusingly. 5555
    No... I wasn't cool. My mate was next to me... he just pissed himself laughing.... and so did I then, which made it worse!


    Quote Originally Posted by PatongBeachBoy View Post
    That old chestnut....... A "Shart"
    It got worse... my mate wouldn't get in the lift with me to our rooms. But a really sexy Czech girl did... and then she smelt it and couldn't escape... 555

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    The artist formally known as Wabbits Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน wabbits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    No... I wasn't cool. My mate was next to me... he just pissed himself laughing.... and so did I then, which made it worse!




    It got worse... my mate wouldn't get in the lift with me to our rooms. But a really sexy Czech girl did... and then she smelt it and couldn't escape... 555
    Mates have away of blowing your cover 555555555
    I bet the story was repeated many times when you got home55555

  17. #17
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน G4orce's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    A short story... location: Prague... scene: a hotel foyer full of people... I sneezed and shat my pants... as I had still to check in, I just pretended the smell wasn't coming from me...
    Classic 55555

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