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Thread: My girlfriend is dying

  1. #1
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    My girlfriend is dying

    My lovely girlfriend, Pui, is dying of a brain tumor and does not have a lot of time left to live. She is currently living at her mother's home for her final days. Some of the members here have met her, including Rivo, whose lady, Paer, is from the same town.

    Pui's mother is taking care of her, but with little help. Pui is only 36 and had far too much to live for, and is too young to be taken by that nasty disease, cancer. She has a lovely 14 year old daughter who lives with her father.

    It was a great ride on my motorbike over a couple mountains and twisty-turning road.... BUT... then I got there...

    I just got back 15 minutes ago from visiting Them. I could hardly recognize Pui. She is a bag of bones with skin wrapped over. I won't post pictures because of the terrible contrast. The saddest part is her mind is going and she is very feeble. When she first saw me she said... "Take me to Chiang Mai on motorcycle". She could not comprehend that she was too sick to travel, and that she is in fact, dying... slowly or quickly depending on your perspective. Considering the facts, it is better that she dies sooner than later. There is no chance of any recovery. I saw the medical report and brain scan.

    I was some relief for her mother, but not much. I was basically there just as moral support for her mother. Pui did not want me to take her to the toilet or bathe her. She is too weak to do it herself. At least 15 times during the night she would call for her mother to put her on a bed pan, and then all she did was a little dribble. It must be exhausting for her mother.

    Also, Pui keeps waking up screaming from nightmares. She thinks her arm is being cut off.

    Pui did not want me to give her a massage, so there wasn't much else I could do, other than tell her I love her. And, she has a blank look in her eyes like she is somewhere else... which I guess, she is. It is terrible watching someone young die slowly in front of you and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.

    I came home a few days earlier than expected because there wasn't anything else I could do, other than give her mother 13000 baht for medication and other necessities. While Pui is sick, her mother can't work. At least she has friends who can go out and buy food for them.

    The old guy feeling older



    At least the short 4 months we had together were filled with excitement and laughter. She will leave me with great memories.








    At least the journey over two mountain passes was enjoyable, but not without some idiot Thai drivers trying to kill everyone around themselves. Traffic is always a concern in Thailand because Thais do not think they are responsible for their own actions. It has all been predetermined by Buddha. I'm often faced by oncoming vehicles in my lane, and very often on blind corners. I don't mind vehicles coming at me on straight sections because I can always slow down and move out of the way... but on blind corners it is just crazy.

    For that very reason I don't take the corners on my motorbike at the speed that I'm capable of. Being passed when I am actually tailgating the vehicle in front of me is another pet peave. Somehow because they are a truck or a van means I'm supposed to move out of the way so they can gain a car length, even though I also want to pass the vehicle in front of me. But, I've just come to expect it.

  2. #2
    Liberal Conservative Distantpeak's Avatar
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    Bloody hell Ian. How long have you known she was ill? That's terrible news. Only 36.... and that smile. She looked so full of life. I am so sorry for you and her family... and Pui. Far too young.
    Singularity prediction... 2043...

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  3. #3
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Sydney's Avatar
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    Yes BloodY HELL Ian, that is so sad to hear this... how unfair life is for some, so sorry mate must me awful to see this happen to someone you love ..

    Just far to young
    The only thing that will stop you from fulfilling your dreams is you.

  4. #4
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน 1080's Avatar
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    Sad news Ian, not much else I can say fella.
    Driving from Bangkok to Korat Sunday, should be interesting, as usual.

  5. #5
    Frequent Flyer kaptainrob's Avatar
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    Very sorry to hear such terrible news Ian ... just too soon, too young, very sad.
    Cheers, Rob.
    Lifes journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but to skid in sideways totally worn out, shouting: holy s.h.i.t what a ride!

  6. #6
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    OMG!!!
    Ian I don't know what to say.....BLOODY HELL!!

    I really feel like crying and I don't know her.

    How quickly this has happened. Do you think there was any sign she was not right earlier??
    If she was in a western country would she have been able to be helped any better??

    How are you going? you must be shattered.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

  7. #7
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PeteGill's Avatar
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    That is very bad news Ian, I am so sorry to hear that. Strength to you and to her....

  8. #8
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    Bloody hell Ian. How long have you known she was ill? That's terrible news. Only 36.... and that smile. She looked so full of life. I am so sorry for you and her family... and Pui. Far too young.
    She got sick about late May or early June and had to stop work because she got tired too quickly. Prior to that we phoned each other 4 or 5 times a day, or sent e-mails and text messages. In late June she told me she was sick and getting medication, but I expected her to get better. I sent her some money for essentials and our room was already paid up until December. The last time we talked on the phone was September 14 and her phone went dead after that. We had so many plans for when I was getting back in early November. They are all null and void now. Her daughter and ex-husband came by a week ago to pick up all of her belongings. I still have a few things of her's and get a bit weepy when sorting through them.

    Who was it that said... life is what happens when you are making plans.

  9. #9
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Star Soupdragon's Avatar
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    So sorry to hear that Ian, 36 is no age at all, thoughts go out to Pui and her family and those close to her, you included.
    Always be yourself.........Unless you can be a Dragon.........Then always be a Dragon.

  10. #10
    Liberal Conservative Distantpeak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    She got sick about late May or early June and had to stop work because she got tired too quickly. Prior to that we phoned each other 4 or 5 times a day, or sent e-mails and text messages. In late June she told me she was sick and getting medication, but I expected her to get better. I sent her some money for essentials and our room was already paid up until December. The last time we talked on the phone was September 14 and her phone went dead after that. We had so many plans for when I was getting back in early November. They are all null and void now. Her daughter and ex-husband came by a week ago to pick up all of her belongings. I still have a few things of her's and get a bit weepy when sorting through them.

    Who was it that said... life is what happens when you are making plans.
    Don't know what to say Ian. I just hope she doesn't suffer too much. Will you get up to see her again?
    Singularity prediction... 2043...

    Immortality to follow within 5 years...


  11. #11
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน
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    Thanks for all the moral support, guys. I WAS Mr Toughguy. Now I'm just a weepy whimp.

    I'll ride back up in another couple of weeks just as moral support for her mother. I'm not sure if Pui will even recognize me by then.

  12. #12
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    She got sick about late May or early June and had to stop work because she got tired too quickly. Prior to that we phoned each other 4 or 5 times a day, or sent e-mails and text messages. In late June she told me she was sick and getting medication, but I expected her to get better. I sent her some money for essentials and our room was already paid up until December. The last time we talked on the phone was September 14 and her phone went dead after that. We had so many plans for when I was getting back in early November. They are all null and void now. Her daughter and ex-husband came by a week ago to pick up all of her belongings. I still have a few things of her's and get a bit weepy when sorting through them.

    Who was it that said... life is what happens when you are making plans.
    Very sad!

    Although I want to express sympathy, I have no words...

    The quote is John Lennon's.. And for him and Pui, it's more like "death is what happens while you busy living.."
    So sorry.. Be strong!

  13. #13
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Nomad's Avatar
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    Thoughts are with you Ian...
    "Don't wait around for your life to happen to you. Find something that makes you happy and do it. Everything else is just background noise." George Mason

  14. #14
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    Feel very sorry for the girl, & all her family & friends

    Just shows you've got to enjoy life whilst you can

  15. #15
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian Forbes View Post
    Thanks for all the moral support, guys. I WAS Mr Toughguy. Now I'm just a weepy whimp.

    I'll ride back up in another couple of weeks just as moral support for her mother. I'm not sure if Pui will even recognize me by then.
    Ian nothing wrong with being a wimp, I don't even know her other than your reports and I feel gutted and teary.

    We all know your not a wimp and she must have been someone special to have a hold of you as she obviously did.

    As there seems no hope for her I can only hope she passes quickly and without pain.

    I know what it is like when they don't know you, push you away or tell you to go, all I can say is keep your mind in remembrance of how she was, what a great person she was, before this terrible thing happened.

    Stay as comfortable in yourself as you can.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

  16. #16
    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Changone's Avatar
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    Life is short, and even shorter for some.
    So hard to watch someone you love waste away to a shadow.
    We are kinder to our pets when it comes to something like this.
    All you can do is make her last days as comfortable as possible.
    Our thoughts are with you during these hard times.
    And where the hell was Biggles.....?....when you needed him last Saturday....?

  17. #17

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    Utterly tragic Ian, I am sorry for you both. At least you are there for both of them. Be brave.

  18. #18
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Sorry to hear big guy, I got teary eyed too. Like you said, it's better if she passes sooner. The condition you describe just sounds heart wrenching.

    All the best man. Hope you're not too distracted when riding around. Take care.
    Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. Moderation is for cowards.

  19. #19
    เมืองเชียงราย Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Rivo's Avatar
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    Just stunned Ian..........I saw the thread name and thought it was going somewhere else............I was only telling Paer the other day that you are back in CM and her comment was that Pui will be very happy to see you again. I had an uncle taken by the same disease a few years ago, just so sad, I know there is nothing you can do in these situations other than be there for her, I still remember like yesterday our times together and her ordering a pie and chips for lunch at the pub, and playing snooker together, all the best mate.
    A Wise Man Once Said "Nothing"

  20. #20
    Foundation Member Uber Star Norabunga's Avatar
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    Oh sh1t Ian. Like others, I don't know what to say.
    I met Pui a couple of times at DUP. She's a lovely person. So sorry to hear this terrible news.
    Last edited by Norabunga; 15th November 2014 at 20:02.

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