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Thread: Some random thoughts about "Parenting"

  1. #21
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    Why would you feel bad?
    If your kid uses bad language about or towards his mother he deserves to get smacked. Plain and simple.

    My nephew basically considers me his dad.
    Him and my sister went through a really rough patch and she was being unreasonable (he was a bit to blame also)
    So we were talking it over and he relayed he called her a "a fcuking pyscho" and I stopped the conversation and ripped him to shreds and told h in November uncertain terms would he ever curse at his mother again.

    And he knows if he did it in front of I'd smack him
    Right after I dropped him off, I thought of the song, 'If tomorrow never comes'. Damn... I'm a softie...

  2. #22
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GGrass View Post
    Right after I dropped him off, I thought of the song, 'If tomorrow never comes'. Damn... I'm a softie...
    Part of the problem today......parents are way too soft.

    I think people are much better at connecting with their kids these days, but damn they treat them like princesses/prince

    My sister's oldest son, it's the same deal. I have a special relationship with him same as with his brother.
    But he has had some issues and not the best attitude at times.

    I mentioned to his younger brother that his older brother never gives me an issues. Always responds to my calls and texts right away.
    His brother said because he's afraid of me.
    And I said "good, he should be a bit"

    Kids aren't afraid of their parents anymore and they should be a bit

  3. #23
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน slampay's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    Part of the problem today......parents are way too soft.

    I think people are much better at connecting with their kids these days, but damn they treat them like princesses/prince

    My sister's oldest son, it's the same deal. I have a special relationship with him same as with his brother.
    But he has had some issues and not the best attitude at times.

    I mentioned to his younger brother that his older brother never gives me an issues. Always responds to my calls and texts right away.
    His brother said because he's afraid of me.
    And I said "good, he should be a bit"

    Kids aren't afraid of their parents anymore and they should be a bit

    Dude, on another thread very recently you posted that 'you find hilarious (?) when people talk like they know everything about Canadian healthcare, but have never actually have experienced it?" I para-phrase of course.

    Ironic...55

  4. #24
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    Dude, on another thread very recently you posted that 'you find hilarious (?) when people talk like they know everything about Canadian healthcare, but have never actually have experienced it?" I para-phrase of course.

    Ironic...55
    Yeah....Driving 4 hours back and forth every weekend for 3 years to make sure kids were in sports because their father was a raging alcoholic and a wife abuser.
    Paying for pretty much everything they have done sports wise.
    Travelling back and forth from NYC to Boston to be at their games their whole lives and then from Canada
    I will be in Johnstown PA in a month for his 1st Jr Hockey game, Alaska the next month, Michigan thrown in there and pretty much every NJ game
    Teaching them things their lunatic father never has.

    I know you are a great father.....but I am going to trust the 2 kids saying to my wife and their mom that they consider me their father for most of their life over your opinion of something you have only read about.

    I definitely don't know as much as an actual father but I am comfortable in what I feel is my relationship with these 2 boys are


    And I take texts like this as thinking I have a little inkling of how to do it, don't know it all for sure though:

    "Uncle, you have no idea what this trip meant to me I can honestly say and I've said this forever you give my family but especially my brother and I an amazing uncle, like our dad.with opportunities that you have given me growing up I can honestly thank you for the goals, skills, and overall morals that I have now! I had an amazing amazing time and I know Hailey did too we havnt stopped talking about the trip! Thank you so much"

    Oh, and I definitely think my sister has an opinion about it too:

    "If I haven't said it lately I'm very thankful and lucky the boys have you in their lives god knows how's they'd be without ypu"

    So I am pretty content on the 3 people I worry about feeling the way they do.
    Oh, and working on the 21yr old moving in with me soon


    PS.....I didn't have to do all of that to know a kid should get smacked in the head if he ever curses at or about his mom, that's for sure
    Some may disagree, that's understandable
    Last edited by MarcTwoSix; 8th August 2017 at 15:29.
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  5. #25
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    That is what I like about this forum. When they are prodded a bit you find out things about people that you would not have known otherwise. I gain more respect for people when they open up with the reasons why they've done many things. Even when you are not on the same wave length as someone does not mean you can't see their admirable attributes.

  6. #26
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Yeah - but these are adults.
    Other peoples' kids you can usually give back.
    It ain't the same as care for 24/7/365.

    However well done M2.6
    Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!

  7. #27
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    Yeah - but these are adults.
    Other peoples' kids you can usually give back.
    It ain't the same as care for 24/7/365.

    However well done M2.6

    I definitely agree with you and Slam, it isn't 24/7 and that isn't close to being a full parent

    But I think you had some notions and opinions on how you would parent before you had kids and I am sure half of those went out the window once you were actually parenting! 555

    But I am sure there were a lot of things that you felt you would parent a certain way and knew you'd likely follow through when you were actually parenting

    I fell my opinion on a kid cursing at or about his mom would be one I think I'd stick to when I was an actual parent. I don't think forming that opinion means you think you know it all, it's just something you are serious about and I think every person that intended to have kids was forming how they felt they would parent before they had kids

  8. #28
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I definitely agree with you and Slam, it isn't 24/7 and that isn't close to being a full parent

    But I think you had some notions and opinions on how you would parent before you had kids and I am sure half of those went out the window once you were actually parenting! 555

    But I am sure there were a lot of things that you felt you would parent a certain way and knew you'd likely follow through when you were actually parenting

    I fell my opinion on a kid cursing at or about his mom would be one I think I'd stick to when I was an actual parent. I don't think forming that opinion means you think you know it all, it's just something you are serious about and I think every person that intended to have kids was forming how they felt they would parent before they had kids
    I agree with your actions on the cursing kid.

    However, having no father influence (he was killed in WW2 when I was just over 1 y.o.) I had no pre-event, pre-conceived ideas on parenting, apart from them knowing right from wrong.
    I was a strong disciplinarian but encouraged independence, thanks to a strong-minded war widow Mum.
    Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!

  9. #29
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    I agree with your actions on the cursing kid.

    However, having no father influence (he was killed in WW2 when I was just over 1 y.o.) I had no pre-event, pre-conceived ideas on parenting, apart from them knowing right from wrong.
    I was a strong disciplinarian but encouraged independence, thanks to a strong-minded war widow Mum.
    I look at other parents and what I think works and doesn't work
    And as I said........once you are actually parenting I am sure half or more of those notions go out the window!

    But in observing parents, I think you can find a lot you agree with and a lot that you don't agree with in the same set of parents

  10. #30
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    I'm a fanatic when it comes to proper parenting because I've seen most of the pitfalls that even caring parents make. My own parents were terrible at parenting even though they loved us. A lot has to do with the child itself. We all start out with different personalities that can be nurtured or squelched depending on how we are raised. What works for one child does not work for another. And, there is no need for physical punishment... even though it doesn't really harm us. All I learned from the many spankings I got was how to ignore pain... if that is somehow an attribute. The only way I could get my father's attention was by doing something wrong. I never got any praise for doing things well. Thankfully, I never passed on any of my parents mistakes in raising my own children, and I'm happy the way they turned out.

    Also, just as it takes two to tango, it also takes two parents on the same page working together for the same goal. Children quickly learn how to play one parent against the other, and if they are allowed to get away with it then it undermines the end result. That is why sometimes it is better if there is just one parent. A lousy parent is worse than no parent.

  11. #31
    Cadet Bronze phaisan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I look at other parents and what I think works and doesn't work
    And as I said........once you are actually parenting I am sure half or more of those notions go out the window!
    Not really, the biggest thing I found is each child is an indiviaual, what works with one doesn't necessarily work with another.

    Genetics has a major role in it.

    There is a school of thought that parents play a very small part in the whole process.
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  12. #32
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by phaisan View Post

    Genetics has a major role in it.

    There is a school of thought that parents play a very small part in the whole process.
    I disagree highly in that, just from observations of parents
    I think parents can influence how a child thinks, their curiosity, manners
    All sorts of influences

    Obviously some kids are born more intelligent than others, more althletic, etc

    I was just away with 2 18yr olds and you could tell the difference in their personalities from the parenting their received

  13. #33
    Astrotraveller Distantpeak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I disagree highly in that, just from observations of parents
    I think parents can influence how a child thinks, their curiosity, manners
    All sorts of influences

    Obviously some kids are born more intelligent than others, more althletic, etc

    I was just away with 2 18yr olds and you could tell the difference in their personalities from the parenting their received

    I think I mentioned before about the kids next door to me growing up... one was adopted... and though all the kids in his family were treated the same... he was just so different to his brothers and sisters.. they had him from a baby as well... his mum was a school teacher then headmistress of a school and she was used to dealing with kids... and was pretty strict with all her children..... but he was a little arsehole unlike his very polite siblings... ended up being a professional rugby league player though... 55

    We always wondered why he was so different? Genetics?
    Singularity prediction... 2043...


  14. #34
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Distantpeak View Post
    I think I mentioned before about the kids next door to me growing up... one was adopted... and though all the kids in his family were treated the same... he was just so different to his brothers and sisters.. they had him from a baby as well... his mum was a school teacher then headmistress of a school and she was used to dealing with kids... and was pretty strict with all her children..... but he was a little arsehole unlike his very polite siblings... ended up being a professional rugby league player though... 55

    We always wondered why he was so different? Genetics?
    Some adopted kids have issues simply because they were adopted.

    So you are dealing with a kid that has had some major trauma in his life.
    Sometimes that weighs heavily on these kids no matter the parenting

    So I think kind of hard to use that as an example because you can't discount the trauma

  15. #35
    Astrotraveller Distantpeak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    Some adopted kids have issues simply because they were adopted.

    So you are dealing with a kid that has had some major trauma in his life.
    Sometimes that weighs heavily on these kids no matter the parenting

    So I think kind of hard to use that as an example because you can't discount the trauma
    Even though he was a baby when adopted? But yeah, could be right. They never told him he was adopted until he was quite old, though he probably worked it out himself. He looked like Mike Tyson while his sister looked like Taylor Swift... 55
    Singularity prediction... 2043...


  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I disagree highly in that, just from observations of parents
    I think parents can influence how a child thinks, their curiosity, manners
    All sorts of influences

    Obviously some kids are born more intelligent than others, more althletic, etc

    I was just away with 2 18yr olds and you could tell the difference in their personalities from the parenting their received
    I think it has a lot to do with both. There is no doubt that children are born with different personalities and skill sets. However, those skill sets can be enhanced or squelched. My daughter was born with a mind like a steel trap and almost a photographic memory. At 5 years old she could beat most adults at memory games. She also had total confidence in anything she did. Nothing seemed above any of her interests. She is a REAL pain to argue with... even when you are right and she is wrong. She wasn't the most "loved" amongst her friends and acquaintances because of her strong personality. Her daughter is very similar to her mother.

    By contrast, my son was/is easy going and everyone loves him. He has a great personality and when he visited me in Thailand he almost had to beat the Thai girls off with a stick. However, when he was going to school I had to push him to make him reach his potential. Now as an adult he does that on his own and runs a successful business. His daughter, Eden, was very tentative when she was small, and was slow walking, riding a bicycle, swimming, or doing anything physical. But, both her mother and father are outdoor people and are always going for hikes in any kind of weather. My son spends a lot of time with Eden and now she is far more outgoing and willing to try anything. Eden is never going to be an athlete, but she can more than hold her own in anything she does. Now she goes surfing, kayaking and swimming with her dad. By contrast, the neighbour's boy who is two years older than Eden, can't do anything that she does.

    So, I've seen both sides of the same discussion.

  17. #37
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    In parenting, the stairs up go very slow..
    But the slides down go very fast, and there are many coming from many angles...
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  18. #38
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Aaahh - the old chestnut - Nature versus Nurture.
    Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!

  19. #39
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Stillearly's Avatar
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    Give me the child until he is seven and I’ll show you the man


  20. #40
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    Aaahh - the old chestnut - Nature versus Nurture.
    It really is a great debate with valid points on both sides

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