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Thread: Some random thoughts about "Parenting"

  1. #1
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Some random thoughts about "Parenting"

    My 11 years old son said,

    "I hate my life right now because of your boring and oppressive parenting. I wish I could live on my own."

    So I said,

    "Don't worry son, in future, you will get to live on your own as you wish. I guarantee you, in about 10 years, you will be living on your own. Look at your uncle Jack (my wife's younger brother). He used to live with your grandmother but now he's living on his own. And look at Auntie Joy (my wife's younger sister). Wait. She still lives with her mom. But you get the point. When the time comes, everyone has to move out. But now is not the time for you to move out. So until it is time for you to move out, you stop playing the X Box when I tell you to stop."

    ---

    One day we went to a temple. There we saw a monk, smoking a cigarette. My son asked me,

    "Father, isn't it a sin to smoke? 'Thou shall not use addictive substance' which means no alcohol and no cigarettes."

    I said,

    "Son, the monk can do whatever he wants."

    "But then he is committing a sin! How can a monk commit a sin?!"

    "No rule says a monk cannot commit a sin. If a mink did not commit any sin, he wouldn't be human! Sure, a monk should try harder than an average man not to sin, but a monk is also a human and therefore a monk can also sin."

    "Then he is a bad monk!"

    "He may be. But don't judge him. Right now you are judging him. You are looking at a man, looking what he's wearing, and looking what he's done, and judging him. Don't judge other people lightly. Let it just be that you saw a monk smoking a cigarette. Nothing more, nothing less."

    ---

    When my sons were much younger, we went to a steakhouse. The boys were excited about the food they were about to eat. After looking at the menu, I ordered,

    "2 Rib eyes, both medium please."

    And the two boys shouted in unison,

    "NO, not medium! Order LARGE!!"

    ---

    That's all I can think of right now.

  2. #2
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    I think you are getting your tuition money worth of your kid is using the word and knows the meaning of oppressive at 11yrs ok 555
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  3. #3
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I think you are getting your tuition money worth of your kid is using the word and knows the meaning of oppressive at 11yrs ok 555
    If he said in English, I'd be very happy. But he said in Thai. Most of the time we use Thai.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน slampay's Avatar
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    It's Father's Day in the USA today.....have a good one brother!! 555

    The story's I have are endless...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    It's Father's Day in the USA today.....have a good one brother!! 555

    The story's I have are endless...
    Obama had a fantastic tweet about Father's Day today
    Check it out....really poignant

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    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by slampay View Post
    It's Father's Day in the USA today.....have a good one brother!! 555

    The story's I have are endless...
    Really? I didn't know that. Happy Father's Day to you!

    Good to know there are father's days being observed all over the world.

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GGrass View Post
    Really? I didn't know that. Happy Father's Day to you!

    Good to know there are father's days being observed all over the world.

    The Thais have the King's Birthday and Mothers Day on the Queen's Birthday.(previous HRH).

    But no celebration of Father's Day?
    Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    The Thais have the King's Birthday and Mothers Day on the Queen's Birthday.(previous HRH).

    But no celebration of Father's Day?
    I thought the Kings Bday was also Father's Day?
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Stillearly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MarcTwoSix View Post
    I thought the Kings Bday was also Father's Day?
    it still is for this year , sure I read it will be kept as Father's day in future as well

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    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    One thing that popped into my mind this morning.

    I want to tell all the fathers out there, "Be careful what you teach your kids."

    Sometimes the parents teach bad things to their kids. I don't know how that is even possible but I've seen it happen. We're all guilty of doing it in some degree but I'm saying some people are just too much...

    The problem is that a large number of people who are parents don't know how to be a parent... Or even if we knew, we can't do it because it's too difficult.

    Being a parent is perhaps the most difficult thing to do in the world.

    The end.
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    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    My father is exactly 30 years older than me. I am exactly 30 years older than my first son.

    The ancient Chinese thought that 12 years made one cycle, and they had 12 animals or creatures designated to each year. First year was the rat. Second was the cow. Third was the tiger and fourth was the rabbit. Next was a dragon, then a snake, followed by a horse and a goat. Next comes the monkey and then a rooster, and then a dog. Pig is the last. And then the cycle repeats.

    My father is a rooster and I am a rabbit. And then my son is a rooster. A rooster and a rabbit are at the opposite end of the circle. The ancient Chinese say this means the two people are hard to get along.

    And I find this myth very plausible. I don't get a long very well with my father.

    But I hope this myth is not true, because I want to get along well with my son.

    ---

    If I want to have a good relationship with my son, shouldn't I try to have a good relationship with my father as well? How can I have a good relationship with my son, when my relationship with my father is bad?

    ---

    Just some random thoughts...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    Mythology is interesting - but not based on truth.
    Your relationship with your son starts with how you treat him.
    Perhaps best to not use your father as your role model?
    He sounds very "old fashioned" and set in his ways.
    Last edited by Zablive; 29th June 2017 at 13:49.
    Political Correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end!

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    I'm a bit of a fanatic when it comes to parenting. I've seen the results of bad parenting and what I call "non-parenting". I've also seen the results of good parenting. Ever since I was about 17 I've made a study of watching people and trying to figure out why they do certain things they do. I also joined the debating team in university and learned a lot about how others think. We were not allowed to debate from the side we actually believed. We had to debate AGAINST what we personally believed. It was a great lesson in understanding opposing points of view.

    I would make a rough guess that 80% of parents let the school teachers and their children's siblings and peers do most of the actual training. Children pay more attention to their peers than their parents anyway. If a child's peers are smart and well adjusted then the child will do okay. However, if the child has rotten peers who steal and do drugs then the child is on a downward path to destruction.

    The secret is to teach a child self worth and independence. And, to learn how to stand up against what they know is wrong. Children are like puppies... they want to please their parents. If they get ignored then they will do bad stuff just to be noticed. It took me a long while to understand that, and why I pulled all the crap I did as a child. The only time I got attention from my father was when I did something wrong. Not once did I ever get credit for doing something well. Not once did I ever get a "Thank you" from my father for working every weekend building our new home, or renovating the place we were living in. That hurt me deeply and I vowed I would never do that to my children... and I haven't.

    The ONLY thing I learned from all the spankings I got was how to ignore physical pain. Even today I can ignore pain if I concentrate. I never did hit my children and they turned out great. They haven't hit their children either, and as a grandparent, I couldn't be prouder of my three grandkids.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zablive View Post
    Mythology is interesting - but not based on truth.
    Your relationship with your son starts with how you treat him.
    Perhaps best to not use your father as your role model?
    He sounds very "old fashioned" and set in his ways.
    I love my father but I'm using him as a role model not to be.

    I respect his way but they are not my way. In fact, we're going exactly opposite ways. I'm going to NY and he's going to LA.

    Doesn't mean I don't like him, I like him a lot, he's a fun person to be around with. When we're not talking about work or business, he's fine.

    Anyway...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Moo Uaon's Avatar
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    FACE YOUR FEARS LIVE YOUR DREAMS

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน RakThai's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GGrass View Post
    I love my father but I'm using him as a role model not to be.

    I respect his way but they are not my way. In fact, we're going exactly opposite ways. I'm going to NY and he's going to LA.

    Doesn't mean I don't like him, I like him a lot, he's a fun person to be around with. When we're not talking about work or business, he's fine.

    Anyway...
    From Korea you can go the same direction to LA or NY...
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  18. #18
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RakThai View Post
    From Korea you can go the same direction to LA or NY...
    That is true. I had not thought about that. But you know what I mean.

    ---

    Since Tuesday I have not been going to work. I've had a big fight with my brother in front of our father, and I don't feel like going back there again.

    ---

    The point is this. If I don't get to run the company the way I want to run it, then I'm out. You two can run it to wherever and however you want, but I'm out. Why? Because I don't want to go down under someone else's control. I don't mind going down if it is under my own control, but with my father and brother on control, I can't accept this. Why do they get to screw up my life? What gives them the right to make me go crazy?

    On Monday during our meeting, they were talking about a grand project that is going to bring us millions of Baht while I'm shitting in my pants coz I can't pay for peanuts? What the fuck is that? They're talking about buying machines and setting up production line while I can't even afford to buy raw materials for the factory? The fuck is that?

    I told my father,

    "Stop running a business with no plan. It's making everyone tired. And don't do things that you can't be responsible for. We can't even pay the bills and you're think about spending money on something else?"

    And my brother got angry and said,

    "You know, I've had enough of your tempers. That is not the way to talk to your father! And what the fuck is your problem? Aren't we working so that we can solve the financial problems?"

    I said,

    "Right. Work all you want. But don't tell ME to work because I've had enough. I'm out of here."

    And then I drove off.

    The end.

    Sorry for the rant but I had to write this down somewhere... It's been on my mind for many days.
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  19. #19
    Cadet Gold GGrass's Avatar
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    This morning my elder son was complaining in the car about his mom. He didn't like the shorts she picked out for him this morning. Which is not unusual for a boy, except that he used a very strong foul word.

    Which triggered my anger button, and I got really mad at him. I scolded him harshly and he talked back and we got really mad at each other. Then it was silent all the way to the school.

    After I dropped him off at the school, I felt kind of bad. But damn... the boy needs to keep it cool! (And so do I.)

  20. #20
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน MarcTwoSix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GGrass View Post
    This morning my elder son was complaining in the car about his mom. He didn't like the shorts she picked out for him this morning. Which is not unusual for a boy, except that he used a very strong foul word.

    Which triggered my anger button, and I got really mad at him. I scolded him harshly and he talked back and we got really mad at each other. Then it was silent all the way to the school.

    After I dropped him off at the school, I felt kind of bad. But damn... the boy needs to keep it cool! (And so do I.)
    Why would you feel bad?
    If your kid uses bad language about or towards his mother he deserves to get smacked. Plain and simple.

    My nephew basically considers me his dad.
    Him and my sister went through a really rough patch and she was being unreasonable (he was a bit to blame also)
    So we were talking it over and he relayed he called her a "a fcuking pyscho" and I stopped the conversation and ripped him to shreds and told h in November uncertain terms would he ever curse at his mother again.

    And he knows if he did it in front of I'd smack him

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