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Thread: Bali Trip Report

  1. #1
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Bali Trip Report

    Bali is an island province of Indonesia, situated... OK maybe I'll leave out the bits you can Google.

    Before I start I just need to mention that there will be inevitable comparisons between Bali and Thailand which you should take with a grain of salt. It's comparing apples and oranges, but it's going to happen since that's all I know.

    The plane took off around 1:35pm with me sitting at the front surrounded by kids and fuckwits. God I hate families. If your litter is under 10 years old, you shouldn't be able to fly, period! A good third of that plane must have been kids. Luckily I got even more wasted at the bar near the gate and had my good canal phones with me so managed to block it all out. I also noticed a clear distinction between a plane full of the Bali crowd as opposed to my regular flights to Singapore. Fat ass house wives and tatted up bogans make up the bulk of these.

    We were due to land at 5pm, but the pilot comes on with a sarcastic tone and says "ladies and gentlmen, the uhhh Indonesian authorities have decided to do an inspection of the runway, so we've been placed in a queue and expect to touch down around 5:30." So we end up doing loolps in the air for another half an hour. The airport is new, about 2 years old and it was the first time I'd seen it. Not too shabby for Bali. The walk from the gate to immigration was about 150 meters but they had still felt the need to install travelators, probably to try and fit in with the big boys 55. I could see a big Chinese plane parked up next to another gate and my fears soon became true when I saw the horde pouring out of the next corridor. I was having none of it so I started walking as fast as I could, elbowing and shoving people out of the way like a rude prick. It paid off and I got into a line with only 3-4 people in it after paying my 35US for a visa. 5 minutes later I was out the front looking for my driver who I soon spotted. But as it turned out they're behind a fence with no direct access to them from there. So after spotting the driver I had to go around past all the duty free shops to exit the terminal only to try and find him all over again outside. Indo logic seems to rival the Thais when it comes to organisation.

    As the driver was carrying my bag we had to cross a lane at the airport and I just kept on walking across a zebra crossing and nearly got clipped by some guy who was clearly practising for the upcoming forlumla 1. Then I suddenly remembered, oh that's right! You really have to keep your wits about you here, far more than even Thailand. But I kind of like that, it keeps you in the moment.

    I headed straight out after dropping my bag off and headed out to my old watering hole. An old Balinese dude who is pretty much part of the furniture there recognised me and we said our hellos, and the where you beens and all the usual chit chat. I then got completely wasted there and had to go back to the hotel early around 10pm, and that spelled the end of my very exciting first night.



    And of course the driver has to stop for petrol.



    My adaptor won't fit!

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Day 2,

    Got up bright and early at the crack of noon before going for a walk to change money and get something to eat. Stopped at a charming little restaurant called Kopi Pot. Very pleasant atmosphere but unfortunately it's right on the side of the road, so the noise and constant beeping kind of ruins the experience. I ordered a beer and my favorite Indo dish called Nasi Campur(pronounced champoor) which means variety and is usually served on a banana leaf. Doesn't look like much but it's an explosion of taste, with every corner of the dish giving you a different experience. As with most of these dishes they can be very different depending on where you get them. On the funkier end of the scale they can come with old fermented and dry fish and different types of flavoured tofu, and those are the ones I really like. So it's very much an acquired taste.





    I'm pretty sure I went back for a nap after that before waking up and going for a walk to the beach. I couldn't be arsed carrying a camera around so I snapped a few photos on my phone.













    I mostly took it easy all afternoon and didn't drink much till around 10pm. The Bali nightlife is very slow to start. Nothing really gets going till midnight, but there are no restrictions on closing hours so many clubs are open till dawn. I ended up back at my favourite place to relax and watch the band. At some point one of Bali's dodgy boys sits next to me quietly, reading me a list. He had Uppers which tempted me, so a quick transaction later he disappears, and that is my cue to walk as well.

    I headed out to Legian street and ended up at a metal bar where a very good band was playing. A real sweet, petite girl points me to a seat and I order a drink. She's cute as a button and I keep talking to her for a while. I'm going to go back tonight and see if I can get anywhere with that. I left about half an hour later, walking down the club district wondering when the amphetamines I had swallowed earlier were going to kick in. That question is soon answered and it feels like an energy bomb has gone off inside me. I start charging like a bull in heat and enter a place called the Skygarden. A multi story club famous for it's many freelancers. The place is a bit of a ripoff though. They charge about 15 bucks at the door but the price does include a drink, with subsequent drinks setting you back around 10 bucks each, which is a lot for Bali. Anyway, I walked around for a bit before taking up position close to a group of ladies I had figured for Bali's Kupu Kupu Malam, or night butterflies. These girls usually tend to be more up market and are always dressed quite glamorously. I make eye contact a couple of time and sure as sh*t one of them walks up to me. Luckily it was the one I had in mind so I got to avoid the awkward "sorry I like your friend". A quick introduction and a deal was soon struck, but neither of us seemed to want to leave yet so we ended up drinking and dancing for a a while. Then off in a taxi and back to the hotel. The taxi overshot the lane on the one way street and we said screw it. We jumped out and stared walking. She took her heels off and my pluggers were chafing me all night so I took them off as well. So now we're all pissed and giggly, walking barefoot down Bali's dark alleyways. This turned out to be a bad idea in hindsight as I woke up this morning with a bloody and swolen toe.

    The boom boom wasn't bad. She had massive jugs and stayed all night. I had stocked up the fridge pretty good so we ended up drinking, smoking and shagging till the drugs wore off and the alcohol hit me like a truck. I ended up with my head hanging over the toilet for a bit but then chugged a liter of water and came good again. She left around 10ish the next morning and I went back to sleep till around 3pm today.
    Last edited by Bacon; 8th September 2015 at 00:09.
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  3. #3
    Foundation Member Uber Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Gazmac's Avatar
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    Sunlounges and Umbrellas on the Beach ? OMG ! 555
    !qq!

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Chob's Avatar
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    Nice edgy feel to this storyline ,,,,,

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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Uber Star Dazza's Avatar
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    man....drugs in Bali....your game!
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    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    So what was is the going "long time" price in Bali?
    Life is the unexpected ...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน meese's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dazza View Post
    man....drugs in Bali....your game!
    drugs any where ???...rather keep that info to your self bacon

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Tingtong's Avatar
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    Off to a great so far...I love the line "surrounded by Kids and f@ckwits" 5555 and their litter of Kids 555 funny stuff. although that alone is enough to turn me off flying to Bali..
    I really hate c@nts and c@nts with Kids on planes..it makes what is never an enjoyable experience harder.
    People should have more consideration on planes....I do !
    Have fun Mate, and yeah how much for Boom boom?

  9. #9
    Foundation Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Minder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dazza View Post
    man....drugs in Bali....your game!
    Should we wait or merge this thread with the Schapelle Corby one now?
    Life is the unexpected ...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Tingtong's Avatar
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    ^ now thats funny 5555. nice one minder

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minder View Post
    Should we wait or merge this thread with the Schapelle Corby one now?
    And we can tag it with the one where the Aussie guy got the hotel doorman to buy a joint, they shared it on the beach but the supplier had cashed in his reward by telling the cops and the two were arrested on the beach with one joint between them, the Aussie is doing 3 yrs inside.
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    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    It's not as bad as people think. These stories are rare.

    Famous last words?

    Boom boom set me back 100aud or around 2.5k Baht. Expensive for Bali but she was on par with her Thai cousins and I was too randy and wasted to argue.

    Spent all night last night watching bands and smoking shisha. One bar was absolutely packed with Aussies and everyone was dancing and singing into the wee hours of the morning. Good times! Going back tonight.

    A mate has come over from Coocoo Kan beach where he's been staying since last week for a weeding, and we're going to catch up in a while at Kudeta for dinner. Unfortunately he's got his ball and chain with him from back home, so I need to devise a clever plan to get rid of her. Plan is to hit up a fishbowl place in Sanur.

    Kudeta. (Stock photo only. I'll see how the real thing compares tonight.)

    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


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    ประเทศไทยเพื่อน Founding Member Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน PeteGill's Avatar
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    Weeding... This a drug party 5555
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Zablive's Avatar
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    I hope for your sake Joko hasn't ordered "Operation Smoked Pig" ...

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Make that wedding 555.
    .............................

    Unverified Facts, Observations and Half Baconed Theories.

    Now if I can make some minor comparisons between Bali and Thailand. The Balinese generally tend to be even more relaxed and easy going. As if that was possible. And you find the smiles are always genuine as well. The food here generally sucks, compared to Thailand anyway, but instead you find a lot of great Western restaurants with top quality chefs. The Italian places are quite exceptional and the quality of the imported wine is great(mostly Australian). So I find you tend to eat more Western food here. I personally stay away from the seafood altogether as I don't want any plumbing complications on my trip.

    It's true that Bali is largely Aussie dominated, but you do get a fair number of other tourists as well. Europeans being the second largest with even the odd Russian or two here and there. Yes they spill even this far south. Americans tend to be few in number and sometimes they turn out to be Canadian. I don't mind either as they're very easy to get along with. Canadians are pretty much Americans without personalities though 555, they remind me of mormons. The Yanks are always great fun when you run into them, but they do tend to be slightly more conservative than Aussies, especially when it comes to drinking. Europeans are my least favourite people, they're just weird, arrogant cnuts who stick to themselves and don't really socialise with other nationalities. Not a fan at all. Add Koreans and Japanese to that list as well. Weirdos. You also see a sh*t load of Chinese at the airport but I have no idea where they go. Certainly not around the party areas, which wouldn't make much sense for them to be anyway, given their demographic. I think they probably just herd them into resorts further up north and take them on tours from there.

    Flora and fauna wise, Bali tends to be even more tropical and dense than places like Phuket. I was sitting outside having a ciggie on my first night and the noise of the street in the distance was drowned by frogs everywhere and the rustling of hundreds of bats in the trees above, which was making me a bit nervous as they do tend to buzz around your head at times. I'm not really afraid of them, but being bitten by one in SEA probably wouldn't be the best thing to happen to you.

    You also notice many buildings and especially temples being made of the same dark aggregate. This is a mixture of volcanic ash/rock and crushed up obsidian. In fact the sand on all the beaches is mostly black as it's all ash. You do need to take care when touching or brushing against these buildings sometimes. Obsidian is one of the toughest and sharpest natural resources known to man. I've cut my hand on exposed bits if it before.



    Poverty wise, Balinese tend to be in far more dire straits than the average Thais, with tourism being the only thing to keep many of them afloat here as there isn't a hell of a lot to do on the island. And they are experiencing a downturn as well, although it still seems OK to me, due to Oz being so close, but I have seen the place much more packed before. Given their economic situation though, you see far fewer beggers here than in Thailand. You can't walk around Pattaya or Phuket without seeing one every couple of hundred meters, but not as much here.

    And I must say, those Thai trips have really clued me up to the ways of the women of easy virtue. I've mongered in Bali before, but boy I never noticed how much of it there is around till now. In the past I mostly relied on taxi drivers to drive me to dark, dodgy areas, but now I'm spotting freelancers left and right and can do my own hunting. Which is a lot more fun. Not that I'm here for that, I just want to blow off some steam, but I Will be keeping an eye out when I go out and will see what happens tonight as well.
    Last edited by Bacon; 8th September 2015 at 19:19.
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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน obes's Avatar
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    Have fun Bacon - but be careful man.


    The place has eyes,ears and mouths and has had for a very long time !

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    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Thanks, but all good, I'm always careful.. As much as you can be after a dozen Araks anyway .

    Oh and their traditional music sounds god awful to me. It almost seems like freestyle jazz where everyone does whatever the feck they want. I can't discern any recognisable melody or pattern in it.
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  18. #18
    เมืองเชียงราย Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Rivo's Avatar
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    No shortage of available girls in Bali, as your finding out, you will be lucky if there a local though as there Javanese cousins seem to dominate. Some of those places out in Sanur at night are very shady 555................Ive had many a goodtime there but 555


    Great daytrip if youve got time, hire a Harley for $100 a day, ride upto Candi Dasa for a day, call into some of the beaches just before, hidden little holiday spots, back to Kuta for a lap on the bike, then back to the dealer before dark, thats to take away the temtation of riding at night while pissed, and having to worry the bikes ok
    A Wise Man Once Said "Nothing"

  19. #19
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน Bacon's Avatar
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    Harleys are too big for a smallish guy like me, and I'm not sure I want to get back on a bike in Bali again after last time.

    I remember lying on a table at some backalley clinic somewhere getting stiches, with my mate looking over the doctor's shoulder while having a ciggie and a bintang. 555
    Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.


  20. #20
    Uber Star Soi wanderer Thai Dreamer ผู้เพ้อฝัน justcruzing1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rivo View Post

    Great daytrip if youve got time, hire a Harley for $100 a day, ride upto Candi Dasa for a day, call into some of the beaches just before, hidden little holiday spots, back to Kuta for a lap on the bike, then back to the dealer before dark, thats to take away the temtation of riding at night while pissed, and having to worry the bikes ok
    Hey Rivo, I guess you have had a ride with Bacon so you would be better qualified but do you think he is up to riding a Harley in Bali??
    I mean only 12 months ago he had never ridden and he has a cafe racer type of bike.

    It was crazy there when I rode a 400 about 13 yrs ago so I can only imagine what the traffic is like now.

    Stepping onto a Harley is a big difference in riding from what he has at home.

    I know you are very experienced and I guess have ridden with him so I defer to you but just wonder if it would be safe for him.
    "Of course you love me darling, I handsome man 55555"

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