Another mouth to feed

[MarcTwoSix]

Much the same as Phils, wifes kids started at that age, But they don't do Mandarin although I think Mandarin is good to learn especially if you live in Asia.

I don't think they learn Mandarin to the extent they learn English

I know, even in the village school, they give proper English class
Because I have helped some of the kids when there

My stepson speaks and write English rather well
He really improved in high school

 

[1080]

She is alternating because of covid, not her age.
To reduce the # of kids in the classroom.

Kids in Thailand start school very early
I want to say part time at 3yrs old and full time at 4yrs old

And yes, they are taught English right from the start these days.
I would imagine the Mandarin is very basic

Fy gets 50baht each day to buy lunch/juice/snacks

I will go along with that.
Spy has been going to school since age 3, day care or whatever and now at age 6 she is doing OK.
Still only on 20 baht a day for food, another 30 a day for bus, we pay for the bus monthly, sure that will go up at some stage. Some days she brings me home change out of her pocket money.
Good thing you guys are doing.

 

[MarcTwoSix]

Well things are going OK with Fy, some bumps in the road, which is to be expected

She basically had zero structure and seems to be way behind in school

I said to Ao, and she agreed , that she thought she would "play house " and would be easy
But it's an 8yr old girl, whose mother abandoned her, and is a new situation
But, that doesn't mean Ao isn't working her ass off with her
She spends hours on homework every day

She is also very shy and timid
And timid does not work with my wife and MIL
She will just not even answer basic questions

But I tell my wife, she's probably never been asked so it's all new to her

It's only been a month.
I told her she is lucky, it's a Thai kid
She is so much easier to handle in this situation than a lot of American and Canadian kids would be

 

[OZZYGUY]

May be worth looking at paying one of the local teachers to come and do some lessons after hrs. Even see if any westerners are teaching at any local schools.
I have a American friend in CM who is a teacher and does this with a few kids, I know CM is long way from you but just saying it happens.

When the wife's kids were back home we had a two university students coming every night for a 2hrs doing extra classes. Didn't cost much and well worth it.

 

[MarcTwoSix]

May be worth looking at paying one of the local teachers to come and do some lessons after hrs. Even see if any westerners are teaching at any local schools.
I have a American friend in CM who is a teacher and does this with a few kids, I know CM is long way from you but just saying it happens.

When the wife's kids were back home we had a two university students coming every night for a 2hrs doing extra classes. Didn't cost much and well worth it.

When Ao leaves for Canada she will pay for her to be tutored at school

I think she wanted to do it herself to assess where Fy is at

And she said she is in rough shape, academically

She just had no structure at all before......

 

[OZZYGUY]

When Ao leaves for Canada she will pay for her to be tutored at school

I think she wanted to do it herself to assess where Fy is at

And she said she is in rough shape, academically

She just had no structure at all before......

Perfect age to start, will change her life.

 

[MarcTwoSix]

Perfect age to start, will change her life.

We'll see
Who knows

So many moving parts
The Mom could come back and take her, it's her right

Ao will come to Canada in next couple of months and although my MIL is her grandmother, she is forming a bond with Ao
Which I remind Ao she has to explain to Fy she will be leaving soon

We shouldn't feel bad because her grandmother and father are still there
But we do......

We can only do the best that we can do when in our control and see what happens

By the way, I got her to eat vegetables from Canada when my wife or MIL couldn't

Was quite simple
I told Ao to cut her lunch money when she doesn't eat her vegetables
She gets a generous 50baht
So told her to tell her it goes down to 25baht if no vegetables the night before

 

[MarcTwoSix]

What blows me away in all this is the complete lack of demand of accountability from the father

He gives what money he can, and by all accounts he does what he can...
And if told by Ao he needs to do this or that, he will

But that's it
No real expectations of him caring for them in any way

You have 4 kids that you can't afford and have no real responsibility in raising them

Even my wife, who is one tough cookie, just shrugs it off as sort of "what can he do"

 

[OZZYGUY]

We can only do the best that we can do when in our control and see what happens

By the way, I got her to eat vegetables from Canada when my wife or MIL couldn't

Was quite simple
I told Ao to cut her lunch money when she doesn't eat her vegetables
She gets a generous 50baht
So told her to tell her it goes down to 25baht if no vegetables the night before

And someone (cannot remember who) commented on a post saying you would be a bad father.

 

[MarcTwoSix]

Fy's Mom contacted Ao for the 1st time since Ao has had Fy

To borrow money......
She didn't ask how her daughter was
Well until Ao asked her if she wanted to know how her daughter was

Seems it got a bit testy

Just crazy the lack of motherly instincts I've seen in so many Thai girls

I don't think we need to worry about her coming for Fy for some time

Maybe she is doing drugs......

 

[Moo Uaon]

I don't think we need to worry about her coming for Fy for some time

Maybe when she's old enough to work would be the biggest worry...don't think she'd have any problem getting her back then unless you get official custody?

 

[MarcTwoSix]

Maybe when she's old enough to work would be the biggest worry...don't think she'd have any problem getting her back then unless you get official custody?

Never worried about her taking Fy back

It's her daughter
It's her right to take her back

I may have worded that wrong .....

I meant "not worry " as in not having to deal with it anytime soon

 

[OZZYGUY]

Hope you didnt give the mom money..........

 

[MarcTwoSix]

Hope you didnt give the mom money..........

Wasn't me she asked

But no, Ao did not lend her money

But she did lend her Mom(the grandmother) money and the Grandmother hasn't paid it back

I just told Ao to tell any of them that her money goes to take care of Fy
That's it

 

[OZZYGUY]

I guess Thailand the same as Phils, a loan is really a gift.........not often you get it back.

 

[bacwaan]

I guess Thailand the same as Phils, a loan is really a gift.........not often you get it back.

if you give it in any other way it is you who is the mug....occasionally you get a surprise and they pay it back....but not often...

I never loan (give) money to anyone (farangs included) these days that I haven't already written off...if they haven't got the money now they are unlikely to have it later as well...

 

[MarcTwoSix]

if you give it in any other way it is you who is the mug....occasionally you get a surprise and they pay it back....but not often...

I never loan (give) money to anyone (farangs included) these days that I haven't already written off...if they haven't got the money now they are unlikely to have it later as well...

My sister
Who works but still struggles

She pisses me off in that she will tell me anything when asking to borrow money
When she knows what she tells me isn't true about when she will pay me back

And she might bring it up once that she will need to pay me later
And that's it.....


Now, I don't let her borrow money
If I had a good month I will just give her money here and there

I just gave her $1kusd last week
And she really is appreciative.......

It actually works better for me, just giving it to her
Less hassle and I don't get pissed off at her

 

[OZZYGUY]

if you give it in any other way it is you who is the mug....occasionally you get a surprise and they pay it back....but not often...

I never loan (give) money to anyone (farangs included) these days that I haven't already written off...if they haven't got the money now they are unlikely to have it later as well...

I also don't, been bitten many years ago.

Wife is also the same and wont "lend" to anyone. She has seen freeloaders bowring money from her mum and not returning it. When back home her mum would tell her to tell them to go away.....55

If a family member or close friend is in trouble I have no issue helping but more in cline to buy them food or pay a bill rather than give cash.

 

[MarcTwoSix]

^ I lend money to my stepson a lot and then take it out of his monthly allowance

He's always trying to do a side business

One he has done well at is designing t-shirts and sells them on Instagram

I lent him money to buy the casts to make the shirts

He did a couple of other things that didn't work out

But I make him pay me back to learn

I tell him I will hack him because I love that spirit
But I'm not a bank, he has to pay me back and he does

 

[OZZYGUY]

^ I lend money to my stepson a lot and then take it out of his monthly allowance

He's always trying to do a side business

One he has done well at is designing t-shirts and sells them on Instagram

I lent him money to buy the casts to make the shirts

He did a couple of other things that didn't work out

But I make him pay me back to learn

I tell him I will hack him because I love that spirit
But I'm not a bank, he has to pay me back and he does

Helping the kids is a bit different. I also make my kids pay it back.