Doghouse

OzzyDamo

Active member
Well it finally happened, told the wife to drop her strides and she says the N-word, I was stunned completely after nigh on 9 years of complete compliancy. Maybe I have got complacent with my gas lighting in the years since the boy appeared. Maybe her turning him into a teddy bear or my Opioid psychosis has made me, come a gutza. Its been 6weeks since the ferret disappeared and I have been relegated to hand jobs only every second nite. We talked the otherday and she claims that sex 5 times a week is to hard for her, I told her if we are to remain fit and hellsee we've got to keep plug away at our sex routine, you snooze, you looz! I said if its getting sore maybe its time for the gravel pit to come into play.
Anyway she's on the rags now so I am looking for clues, signs or tips from the ol'hands out there- How do you deal with doghouse time? How long is a reasonable stretch in the doghouse? How do you get off the leash?
 

Quarky

Administrator
I avoid marriage in the first place.

Or deprive her of sex for a year. If that doesn't work you know it's time to sail away in your cat.
 

OZZYGUY

Well-known member
Or deprive her of sex for a year. If that doesn't work you know it's time to sail away in your cat.
This was my ex...........But she deprived me and I rode off on my bike.............we all lived happy ever after......well I did....55
 

Moo Uaon

Well-known member
Make the "you hab udder lady" accusation come true.
She'll have the satisfaction of finally being right and you'll get yer rocks off....win win :cool:
 

OzzyDamo

Active member
I don't know...you have clearly mastered foreplay. All day on the Guinness, topped off with drugs and then some sweet words. Can't imagine why it isn't working for you.
Paradise without pussy, a gronk's paradise.
 

bacwaan

Well-known member
^ I imagine the "inner Bukowski" stream of consciousness chaneling doesn't works so well in a relationship...even Chuck himself struggled...555
 

Chob

Moderator
Make the "you hab udder lady" accusation come true.
She'll have the satisfaction of finally being right and you'll get yer rocks off....win win :cool:
Hilarious ... and I sorta agree.
Of course , hide any sharp objects when you tell her ... oh , and sell any ducks you have before hand ! 555
 

Chob

Moderator
Cant imagine ever being lonely in this country if your wife refuses to fulfill her nuptial promise to , "have and to hold" .

If theres a kid involved , take up walking .
Then just take a very long walk every 2nd day , if thats what you need.
Then say nothing and dont rock the boat ,,, after all , its only a 30 second thing every two days anyway ...555
 

OzzyDamo

Active member
I have made a concession with her, she is no longer required to put the wheelie bins out every week. I will see what effect that has on the relationship and work from there.

Yes I will take a walk with the wheelie bin as my guide, it may well be the reason for her gender dysphoria. It came to me as an epiphany, its my fault, I understand now that its my fault, I have shared the fathership role too much with her, generousness has been my main issue.

I still out fish her 10 to 1. Maybe I take her fishing(on a calm sea) and let her catch the most? Maybe its time she shot a young deer for meat. A cleansing kill.
 
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OZZYGUY

Well-known member
Reminds me of my friend Terry.

His wife was sick of him not doing jobs around the house, he was sick of the wife not putting out.

So they done a deal, if he did work around the house she would put out.

Should see his garden now....looks so good and all the odd jobs have been done and they now have a better relationship.

I asked him how the deal was going, he told me she kept her word but he was worried he was running out of things to do around the home.....55
 

OzzyDamo

Active member
Reminds me of my friend Terry.

His wife was sick of him not doing jobs around the house, he was sick of the wife not putting out.

So they done a deal, if he did work around the house she would put out.

Should see his garden now....looks so good and all the odd jobs have been done and they now have a better relationship.

I asked him how the deal was going, he told me she kept her word but he was worried he was running out of things to do around the home.....55
restoring ol'boats doesn't count so it would seem. Maybe I could buy her a harley davidson for her 10th wedding anniversary? I did teach her how to cook thai food(I was an apprentice chef 2nd year, good at it too, then Keating killed it with the FBT).
 

OzzyDamo

Active member
She is Thai right?
She's a uni girl, her mum died when she was 4, she has eaten out(thailand its almost cheaper to eat out) her whole life, she would burn water when I first met her, we are dimetrically skilled- her strenghts are my weakness and visa vie. shes 172cm, have northern chinese mothers side surname is sae-tang is Yunnan name and Yunnan style arse to match(is trick looking butt). I am not going anywhere soon.
 
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Chob

Moderator
Reminds me of my friend Terry.

His wife was sick of him not doing jobs around the house, he was sick of the wife not putting out.

So they done a deal, if he did work around the house she would put out.

Should see his garden now....looks so good and all the odd jobs have been done and they now have a better relationship.

I asked him how the deal was going, he told me she kept her word but he was worried he was running out of things to do around the home.....55
Tell him to just hand her cash , and retire to the sofa ...
Jesus , I wonder how she deals with the pool cleaning man ...
 

OzzyDamo

Active member
Tell him to just hand her cash , and retire to the sofa ...
Jesus , I wonder how she deals with the pool cleaning man ...
wonder if he's "fit like the bull", only one way to find out -do an optical fiber lense camera in the ceiling above "the master bed" poked thru a 2mm drill hole.
 

Chob

Moderator
^ When I was in rural England I heard about this pub in some picturesque locale and since so many people took photos there , the publican did up the rooms above and put in a bistro catering to wedding groups. Some fishing line was attached to the big antique brass bed in the Bridal Suite which was above the public bar , and went thru such a whole and was attached to a bell hanging where the locals drank . It was said theyd let a huge cheer when the bell started ringing ...
 
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