Why I hate the village.

Cippy

Well-known member
So, we've had a pretty happy trip so far, despite going way over budget every day, feeding an army. Depspite being molested, literally, by kee mao old Thai guys telling me over and over how much they love farang. Still, to be expected and it was going well.

Then, this morning the wife is very short with the kid. I finally drag out of her she upset because her brother is mourning the breakup with his girlfriend. Apparently, poeple in the village came to his girlfriend's family talking shit about how poor they are and how poor the farang is they have in their family, because I only bought them a car. No sin sot, no monthly stipends, not even a ceremony. Stupid girl married for love. No this girl's family came right out and said, you're too poor for my daughter.

My response of course was to remind her how ridiculous and toxic their wzy of thinking is. To show her what she has accomplished, like straight A's in an American college, etc. Her personality traits that are so endearing. Her father, though poor, is loved by everybody, and has busted his ass every day of his life to provide for his family making his lack of wealth circumstantial. Her brother is only 18, but has a full time job, is attempting two businesses.

I spent an hour building her and her family by speaking only truth. Yet, in the end she chose to let these poeple to have a hold on her. I said in frustration then, the problem is her, not these toxic poeple who value show of wealth more thsn anything, who spend 80% of thier income on a truck and feel proud to one up their neighbor, when i reality thier situations are the same. And they have to knock my wife down a peg to feel good about themselves. How dare she accomplish so much and be beautiful with a beautiful daughter at the same time.

Sent from my SM-G930U using Tapatalk
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
And it is your wife and not them

I don't mean that in a derogatory way towards your wife

The village can be a cesspool of jealousy.
So many just looking to knock people down a peg.

Nothing you can do to change those assholes
It's your wife that has to change she and realize that she has tangible things in her life and not possessions to show off.

We went through the same things
Girls giving her shit because she didn't have a house in the village we didn't need
Or a car at the time she didn't need

She never made a big stink about any of that but just like you, I had to keep reminding her she had things that were important

Her son going to good schools
Proper health insurance

Now?? The village is what she calls her "happy place"
She keeps to the people who actually care about her and that's it
She stays with her Aunt who is her favorite person in the world and only cares about my wife for her

So your wife is a smart girl, we know that

She will get to that point
But I think you have a right to be frustrated and you have a right to be frustrated with her
But then keep pointing out all those important things in life you guys are focusing on.

As I said, the village can be a cesspool but eventually she will figure it out
 

Cippy

Well-known member
MarcTwoSix;410778 said:
And it is your wife and not them

I don't mean that in a derogatory way towards your wife

The village can be a cesspool of jealousy.
So many just looking to knock people down a peg.

Nothing you can do to change those assholes
It's your wife that has to change she and realize that she has tangible things in her life and not possessions to show off.

We went through the same things
Girls giving her shit because she didn't have a house in the village we didn't need
Or a car at the time she didn't need

She never made a big stink about any of that but just like you, I had to keep reminding her she had things that were important

Her son going to good schools
Proper health insurance

Now?? The village is what she calls her "happy place"
She keeps to the people who actually care about her and that's it
She stays with her Aunt who is her favorite person in the world and only cares about my wife for her

So your wife is a smart girl, we know that

She will get to that point
But I think you have a right to be frustrated and you have a right to be frustrated with her
But then keep pointing out all those important things in life you guys are focusing on.

As I said, the village can be a cesspool but eventually she will figure it out
I'm afraid it will take some emotional maturity that she is still working on. But she's doing great having started workink on her emotional health in her 20s.

I try to tell her she's thinking with her heart and not her head and her heart will betray her every time.

Sent from my SM-G930U using Tapatalk
 

Ian Forbes

New member
I agree with Paul on this one. I have seen the very same thing many times over when I visit the villages outside the main cities.

However, materialism is in the mindset of so many people everywhere... not just Thailand where it can be more obvious. As you get older you value friendship and love far more than material possessions. Also, I've noticed that possessions for show seem to be more important for women. Men like possessions more for their practical value and what you can do with them: boats, motorbikes or sporting equipment. Who really needs a fucking big diamond ring, or a huge home that takes a bunch of workers just to maintain?

And, when you really come down to it the only thing that really matters is how you raise your children and give them an opportunity to succeed in life at something they enjoy doing.
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
Cippy;410779 said:
I'm afraid it will take some emotional maturity that she is still working on. But she's doing great having started workink on her emotional health in her 20s.

I try to tell her she's thinking with her heart and not her head and her heart will betray her every time.

Sent from my SM-G930U using Tapatalk
It will come in time but is frustrating nonetheless

Just keep doing what's right for your daughter and your wife
Continue to point that out to her when there shitheads get to her and she will turn the corner

On another note, not to distract from this talk
Met two young Asian girls from your exact city in Havana!!
 

RakThai

Well-known member
Hilarious story, Dave.. 555

people in the baan may be uneducated, hey, they even may be illiterate, but the sure do know how to write the screenplay for the next episode of the baan's next real life soap!

The GF's parents clearly show how much the love their daughter('s monetary value)...
And good parents as they are, they will use all the tricks in the book to maximize this (who can blame them? In a way your wife and her cousin set the bar by marrying these Americans 555)..
And they timed the break-up to perfection, just as the American sister and her husband enter the stage..
Did you expect a written RSVP invitation to enter the negotiations? 555

Who will write the next episode?
Will it be the boy who gets his sister to buy the girl for him?
Will it be the angry falang loading his wife and kid in the car and drives of to who-knows-where?
Will it be the dad, taking his son to a construction project far away?
Or do the girl and her parents get to continue their script?

I will stay tuned! 555
 

Bacon

Administrator
The obvious thing to do would be to remove her from that environment. What are yous plans for the future? Village life?
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
Bacon;410794 said:
The obvious thing to do would be to remove her from that environment. What are yous plans for the future? Village life?
Her family is there
He can't remove her

He just keeps on stressing where the important focus is

I've met his wife
She is smart and will get it and not let this childish shit in the village get to her
It takes times but the smart ones get it
 

Sydney

New member
Man on point with this M26... Experience showing, and great soothing advice .. even i felt calmer reading it.. 55555

And if you didn't have a smart one ? ... Life could go real sour real quick

Hmmmmm. I read clippys posts and my first thought was stupid backward bloody country thais ... But then my 2nd thought was trying to search for the western equivalent ... My first example was at the upper class levels where the dude was not good enough for the rich daughter or vica versa . A commona so to speak (edit. Just realized the ironic part in this, this time stupid dumb rich people).... But there is probably other places it exists
 

Quarky

Administrator
Cippy. I guess calling her bluff isn't an option? Saying, ok... you're right. I'm the wrong farang for you.. packing up, leave her in the village for a few days to contemplate her lot... and hopefully the penny drops...
 

Sydney

New member
^^ this is not a game of poker ..555

Leaving her to the brain washing of the village saying we told you so ?
 

Quarky

Administrator
Sydney;410820 said:
^^ this is not a game of poker ..555

Leaving her to the brain washing of the village saying we told you so ?
Well.. actually.. life is... 55

Do you want to be with someone so easily brainwashed?

Probably why I am single.. but I find women who are easily manipulated (except by me) a turn off... 55

If she is as smart as Cippy and Paulie says... she will make the right decision...
 

Sydney

New member
Quarky;410822 said:
Well.. do you want to be with someone so easily brainwashed?

Probably why I am single.. but I find women who are easily manipulated (except by me) a turn off... 55
Well you have to factor in the age.... And if she has the smarts which M26 has alluded to, then you do every thing you can to support her, which includes staying by her when she is in this environment

If she was a no hoper you might have a case
 

Quarky

Administrator
Sydney;410823 said:
Well you have to factor in the age.... And if she has the smarts which M26 has alluded to, then you do every thing you can to support her, which includes staying by her when she is in this environment

If she was a no hoper you might have a case
Fair enough. I guess I was thinking like a western guy about a western girl...
 

Sydney

New member
And besides ... This is a short term issue, not sure how long Cippy is in the village, assuming they haven't moved there, they will be out of there soon enough and normal transmission will resume, and i bet that is when the penny will drop for her
 

Quarky

Administrator
Sydney;410825 said:
And besides ... This is a short term issue, not sure how long Clippy is in the village, assuming they haven't moved there, they will be out of there soon enough and normal transmission will resume, and i bet that is when the penny will drop for her
Yeah, but even back in America she will be talking online to people in the village... so she needs a wake up call to appreciate how lucky she is...

Then again Paulie has been through it for years and has probably tried many scenarios including the cold turkey treatment, so he'll have an idea of what tends to work...
 

Sydney

New member
Quarky;410824 said:
Fair enough. I guess I was thinking like a western guy about a western girl...
Let's not fool ourselves, this happens in a youngish western relationship as well... Young couple goes home to holiday with one of the families and chatter begins. ... But same rules apply, smart enough or no hoper ... Up to the other half to work that out
 

Sydney

New member
Quarky;410827 said:
Yeah, but even back in America she will be talking online to people in the village... so she needs a wake up call to appreciate how lucky she is...

Then again Paulie has been through it for years and has probably tried many scenarios including the cold turkey treatment, so he'll have an idea of what tends to work...
Online is different, it doesn't have the same weight as she is in her own environment, and is now in control .... In the village she has no control, and everything is magnified 100x ... Online she is only confronted by one person, and not a whole village

In the village she probably feels like she has 100 sets of eyes and expectations on her.... Can't think of any worse
 

Quarky

Administrator
Sydney;410828 said:
Let's not fool ourselves, this happens in a youngish western relationship as well... Young couple goes home to holiday with one of the families and chatter begins. ... But same rules apply, smart enough or no hoper ... Up to the other half to work that out
Yeah.. but if it's happening while you are with them... sometimes the option is to walk away... or as they say, "set them free".... if they return, then you know it's strong... if not.. move on...

Even if kids are involved... as an example, my mum should have left my dad when I was a teenager... he was such an arsehole... but she was weak and stayed... and has paid the price ever since (as did we).
 

Sydney

New member
Cippy basically she doesn't need the how lucky she is or the how well she has done etc etc reminder ( i know you probably haven't used the how lucky she is line that was a DP call 55 ) but what she needs is the .... I don't give a fuck what people think lesson .. I am me, I know what I am doing and no one is going to change that ! Get her to watch some Gary Vee I don't a give a fuck what people think vidoes 5555
 
Top