Why I hate the village.

Ian Forbes

New member
Quarky;414009 said:
I've seen it. It is barbaric. I still eat meat, but no way am I deluding myself there is anything humane about how I am getting it... even if they died in their sleep... or with a smile on their face. I find it ironic we complain about some countries eating dog... why is that so much worse than eating pigs?

I love bacon.
It's not worse. It's just all in our mind. It's like horse meat. Our family ate it in the late 1940s and early 1950s when beef was not available, or in short supply. But, "horse people" would have a conniption over eating horses.
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
Ian Forbes;414012 said:
It's not worse. It's just all in our mind. It's like horse meat. Our family ate it in the late 1940s and early 1950s when beef was not available, or in short supply. But, "horse people" would have a conniption over eating horses.
I ate raw horse meat sushi in Japan
It was phenomenal
 

Cippy

Well-known member
Quarky;414009 said:
I've seen it. It is barbaric. I still eat meat, but no way am I deluding myself there is anything humane about how I am getting it... even if they died in their sleep... or with a smile on their face. I find it ironic we complain about some countries eating dog... why is that so much worse than eating pigs?

I love bacon.
Sure, no denying its death. But certain groups would have you believe that the animals are tortured to death, when really, their lives are what could be considered barbaric. Especially for Pigs and Chickens, kept in small cages. Most of us don't think of that, especially when faced with the decision of $10 for two chicken breast or $5 for a pack of 10 thighs out of one of those "barbaric" corporate meat producers.
 

Cippy

Well-known member
Ian Forbes;414012 said:
It's not worse. It's just all in our mind. It's like horse meat. Our family ate it in the late 1940s and early 1950s when beef was not available, or in short supply. But, "horse people" would have a conniption over eating horses.
Well, I can tell you I feel the same way about dogs. They are for companionship, not eating and most of the world agrees. Buuuut, if it was a him or me situation . . .
 

Quarky

Administrator
Cippy;414054 said:
Sure, no denying its death. But certain groups would have you believe that the animals are tortured to death, when really, their lives are what could be considered barbaric. Especially for Pigs and Chickens, kept in small cages. Most of us don't think of that, especially when faced with the decision of $10 for two chicken breast or $5 for a pack of 10 thighs out of one of those "barbaric" corporate meat producers.
I agree.. all part of the same thing... horrible lives... spent eating... waiting to be killed... not law of the jungle any more where we spent most of our free time hunting them for food...

Then again, the more we learn about plants and their emotions... it's going to be hard to find anything to eat that doesn't squeal...
 

Ian Forbes

New member
Cippy;414055 said:
Well, I can tell you I feel the same way about dogs. They are for companionship, not eating and most of the world agrees. Buuuut, if it was a him or me situation . . .
Same with that plane crash years ago in the mountains of South America. The survivors had to eat the dead passengers to survive.
 

Cippy

Well-known member
More Drama out of the village. I don't usually get involved, but the wife certainly needed help with this. Another little rant.

My MiL got punched in the face, again, by her second BF since the divorce. Only a black eye this time, stitches last time. We advised her not to go back to him. But, the only place she has to go is her sons house. Problem is its on her ex husband's land and surrounded by his sisters who hate her. We were sure my FiL would rise above this seeing as he does not live there anymore, its his son's house and his son took her mother in. Also, she helped build it, her wages helped pay for the building material. But, no, he demanded she leave, citing the difficulty with his sister's and that he was hurt so bad in the divorce. We were both, the wife and I, very disappointed in the man. He always just seemed so much better than this. Even though she had nothing, he seemed to feel no responsibility for her at all.

So, my idea, we threatened to sell the car so we would have money to buy a little plot of land already picked out and build her a rudimentary shelter. Seems fair, he got a 600,000 baht (plus interest) car, she got nothing besides the odd payment to feed herself. My goal was just to get him to back off and deal with his bitchy sisters, but I was fully prepared to go through with it. We would lose the car. But, it would most likely be destroyed by the time we wanted to use it again. It doesn't get services it needs. I have had to replace the tires each time I have returned because I just won't drive daughter around on a bald tires. His girl friend has a truck too.

Well, he called a few days later and offered her 100,000 baht from him and his GF. In return he wants us to sign over the car to him. I say, ok, but not going to sign the car over. it's essentially his anyway. The wife is going to do it though.

Seriously, my FiL is one of the best Thai guys I have ever met in Thailand. But, he is still inundated in his culture in ways, one of them being that a man has zero responsibility for an ex or their children. I at least had a little faith restored in him. The missus is still wracked with guilt for "thinking bad" of her father. BS, I say, you were judging his actions not the man. An important lesson for her because she often can not separate being confronted about her behavior and being a good person.

I have to really give my wife due respect my wife on this one. She is a mother to her Mother and Brother and she hasn't really grown up herself in ways. Now it seems she has to parent her father at times as well. Its a huge drain on her and affects our relationship and her relationship with her daughter, it never stops. Seems selfish of me to distance myself from all of that. Best advice I can give is to try and distance herself emotional from the drama because it will never end.
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
I don't know
It sounds like you get involved just as much as you need to for support and to try and steer it a bit in the right direction w/o getting too involved

I could never be one of those guys who isn't involved with his wife's family.
I see so many farang like that in Thailand

But I think it's important to show how stupid all that drama really is by not getting too involved
Be there for your wife but to an extent.....
So sounds to me you are handling it perfectly....


Unlike your FIL my FIL was the fuxking devil
Literally the worst human being I've ever encountered
If I told you some of the stories you'd be horrified

My wife has scars on her body from him but still felt an obligation towards him

Now, with my help, she cut him off and only saw him on her terms the last 5 years of his life
(And they had a decent relationship those last years)

But the other month she was crying over his death anniversary
How could you cry about a father that scarred you?
I wouldn't waste a tear
 

Cippy

Well-known member
^yeah, my goal is really to get my wife to see the absurdity of it all. I hope she can distance herself from it all emotionally.

She actually started to agree to therapy. We tried it before and she just didn't open up. But, I think she is starting to see she needs help. She needs to get control of her emotions. She is like living with someone with PTSD. Once she gets to a certain emotional level, she loses all control. I've seen the same thing in her mother. I think she appreciates that she has never been punched in the face no matter how crazy and abusive she has gotten. 555 Low bar I know.
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
Cippy;423339 said:
^yeah, my goal is really to get my wife to see the absurdity of it all. I hope she can distance herself from it all emotionally.

She actually started to agree to therapy. We tried it before and she just didn't open up. But, I think she is starting to see she needs help. She needs to get control of her emotions. She is like living with someone with PTSD. Once she gets to a certain emotional level, she loses all control. I've seen the same thing in her mother. I think she appreciates that she has never been punched in the face no matter how crazy and abusive she has gotten. 555 Low bar I know.
And as you pointed out it is vital to her relationship with her daughter

You seem to be doing everything you can and seem to be doing it the right way

None of us are perfect by any means so sometimes it feels hard to tell someone else how things should be
But as you said, that ingrained village behavior has to be rooted out
But it can't be rammed out of them......has to he done patiently

Your wife is smart, that's clear when meeting her
I'm 17years in
My wife has been free of that for maybe 5-6 years

You are doing a good job.
It's hard work but keep up with it
It gets better

And sounds corny but man does it feel good when you see your "nudges" have worked
And just happy for her that she doesn't have that boulder on her shoulder anymore

It will come.....
 

Ian Forbes

New member
I think it's a "female thing". I've seen it many times in Canada where women get physically abused by their "man". But, when they finally leave the jerk they pick another one just the same

In rural Thailand it is a really "old school" entrenched society where women do all the work around the home and the men are "supposed to" go to work and earn enough money for the family. Unfortunately, In far too many Thai families the father figure is long gone and he seldom sees any responsibility in providing for what he created. There are exceptions, of course, but that would be the general rule in this country.
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
My wife got a new insult, village gossip I never heard of before.

They insulted her by saying she has to make payments on her car every month 5555

I guess that is supposed to be an insult because she didn't buy it outright
Never heard that one before................

PS....The girl making the insult has a 23yr old daughter that has 4 babies with 4 different men :)
 

Stillearly

Well-known member
My wife got a new insult, village gossip I never heard of before.

They insulted her by saying she has to make payments on her car every month 5555

I guess that is supposed to be an insult because she didn't buy it outright
Never heard that one before................

PS....The girl making the insult has a 23yr old daughter that has 4 babies with 4 different men :)
wouldn't that be 90% of Thais... ?
 

Quarky

Administrator
My wife got a new insult, village gossip I never heard of before.

They insulted her by saying she has to make payments on her car every month 5555

I guess that is supposed to be an insult because she didn't buy it outright
Never heard that one before................

PS....The girl making the insult has a 23yr old daughter that has 4 babies with 4 different men :)
Funnier than cats and dogs!
 

Nomad

Well-known member
My wife got a new insult, village gossip I never heard of before.

They insulted her by saying she has to make payments on her car every month 5555

I guess that is supposed to be an insult because she didn't buy it outright
Never heard that one before................

PS....The girl making the insult has a 23yr old daughter that has 4 babies with 4 different men :)
Tell Ao you thought they would be gossiping about her braces and she cannot afford to get them removed. Might spring her into action (or maybe not). 555
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
wouldn't that be 90% of Thais... ?
I guess that's the rationale

I just never heard of that

The interest was incredibly low
I forgot how it worked out, seemed different than here
But I know it worked out to very low cost above the cost of the car

I love the insults 5555
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
Tell Ao you thought they would be gossiping about her braces and she cannot afford to get them removed. Might spring her into action (or maybe not). 555
Haha
True!

I think she will have those damn braces on when Nut's kids graduate University 555
 

OZZYGUY

Well-known member
I guess that's the rationale

I just never heard of that

The interest was incredibly low
I forgot how it worked out, seemed different than here
But I know it worked out to very low cost above the cost of the car

I love the insults 5555
Just pay the girls loan off, man Im sure the market has been good to you over Covid............555
 

Cippy

Well-known member
My wife got a new insult, village gossip I never heard of before.

They insulted her by saying she has to make payments on her car every month 5555

I guess that is supposed to be an insult because she didn't buy it outright
Never heard that one before................

PS....The girl making the insult has a 23yr old daughter that has 4 babies with 4 different men :)
I don't understand this, because she didn't use cash? They're just looking for something, anything to use as ammo.

The size of ones car payment seems to be a bragging right in my wife's village. I had an auntie ask me how much I paid for my car so she could lord over me her payments were bigger.
 

MarcTwoSix

Well-known member
I don't understand this, because she didn't use cash? They're just looking for something, anything to use as ammo.

The size of ones car payment seems to be a bragging right in my wife's village. I had an auntie ask me how much I paid for my car so she could lord over me her payments were bigger.
Yeah I guess because she think she doesn’t have the cash to buy it outright

I love the insults
The good thing is none of them bother my wife anymore
 
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